Monday, April 30, 2007

Sheds - three things in my shed.

Is it just a shed, or something else entirely.

Name three things in your shed. Without looking.

Thankyou flowers

Take the Challenge



How many sports can you list that don't involve the use of a ball?

Sunday, April 29, 2007

Johnnos Whatisit

Well done Anonomous(whoever it is hiding behind anon)It is my old roof fan regulator...reminds me of an electric chair switch
Now I need an exact answer on this one as I have given you the full picture

Saturday, April 28, 2007

Why I love my sons and Stephen Hawking

Watching tv last night, Bear and I saw the images of Stepehn Hawking spinning around in the 'vomit-comet', and Bear said "He is a genius!".

Later, Doc came home, and again watched the news. He turned to me and said "That man is brilliant!"

So Stephen Hawking is a hero to my sons, both of whom have read his books, A Brief History of Time, and whatever the other book was we all read on holidays in tahiti.

I love that they admire his brain. Love it!

COSMOLOGIST Stephen Hawking soared into weightlessness today on a zero gravity flight that allowed the leading expert on gravity to briefly escape from his wheelchair.

"It was amazing ... I could have gone on and on," Hawking, 65, said after riding for two hours on a modified jet that flew a rollercoaster trajectory to create the impression of microgravity.

"Space, here I come" he said at NASA's Kennedy Space Centre in Florida. The British professor, who has spent most of his career studying black holes and gravity, hopes the flight will be a prelude to a 2009 voyage into space.

"I have long wanted to go into space," said Hawking, who is almost entirely paralysed.

"A zero gravity flight is the first step to space travel," he said at a news conference near the runway. "I hope many people will follow in my path."

Specially trained pilots took the aircraft to 33,000 feet (10,000 metres) before plunging to 2,500 metres to give the passengers about 30 seconds of gravity-free flying.

The aircraft repeated the manoeuvre eight times, giving Hawking a total of four minutes of diminished gravity.

"Professor Hawking reached for the sky and he touched the heaven today," said Peter Diamandis who heads the flight company.

Hawking was seated as the plane went up. Once the aircraft topped over to zero gravity, two people lifted him and guided him up into mid-air, where he floated freely.

"I have been in a wheelchair for almost four decades, the chance to float free in zero gravity will be wonderful," he had said before boarding the flight at the runway usually used for space shuttle landings.

Hawking, who is Lucasian Professor of Mathematics at Cambridge University - a post once held by Sir Isaac Newton - suffers from amyotrophic lateral sclerosis, also known as Lou Gehrig's Disease.

He was diagnosed with the muscle-wasting motor neuron disease at the age of 22. He is in a wheelchair and speaks with the aid of a computer and voice synthesiser.

His work has centred on theoretical cosmology and quantum gravity, looking at the nature of such subjects as space-time, the Big Bang theory and black holes.

Friday, April 27, 2007

Just a thought

Remember: Amateurs...built the ark.


Professionals...built the Titanic.

Grumpy Old Women


Grumpy old spectacled older women look so sexy in their specs..

Pet pooch scam is baa-king mad

THOUSANDS of Japanese have been swindled in a scam in which they were sold Australian and British sheep and told they were poodles.

Flocks of sheep were marketed as fashionable accessories - available at $1600 each - by a company called Poodles as Pets.

A real poodle retails for twice that much in Japan.
he scam was uncovered when Japanese film star Maiko Kawamaki went on a talk-show and wondered why her new pet would not bark or eat dog food.

She was crestfallen when told it was a sheep.

Hundreds of other women got in touch with police to say they feared their new "poodle" was also a sheep.

One couple said they became suspicious when they took their "dog" to have its claws trimmed and were told it had hooves.

Police believe there could be 2000 people affected by the scam

click the link for more funny scams

Thursday, April 26, 2007

looking hopeful


Fingers crossed this does not blow out to sea

Seattle Humor

This newcomer to Seattle arrives on a rainy day. She gets up the next morning and it's raining. It continues to pour for the rest of the week.
Leaning out her apartment window she sees a little boy playing on the stood below and asks, "Hey, kid, does it ever stop raining around here?"
The kid looks up at her and calls back, "How should I know? I'm only six."

What do you call two days of Sunshine in Seattle?
Summer

How can you tell it is summer in Seattle?
The rain is warmer.

Think about it!

Can you cry under water?


How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?


Why do you have to "put your two cents in".. but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?


Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?


Why does a round pizza come in a square box?


What disease did cured ham actually have?


How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?


Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?


If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?


Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?


Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?


Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.


Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?


Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?


If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?


Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?


If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?


Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!


If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?


If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?


If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?


Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?


Why did you just try singing the two songs above?


Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?


Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

My dad at war - New Guinea



A friend sent me this image, I have shown it to all of my family, and we agree it's our dad, second from the right, in New Guinea with his Regiment. (lower image)

He was a 'gunner' with the 25 Pounders, (the size of the shell) and in later years wrote the official biography of the war and his Regiment. It was a huge book!
(The 25 Pounders ... from Egypt to Borneo, An Anecdotal History by John Warby)

Monday, April 23, 2007

Let's Do It People


LIST 10 THINGS YOU WOULD LIKE TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE

World's largest dog


According to Guinness World Records Hercules was recently awarded the honorable distinction of Worlds Biggest Dog. Hercules is an English Mastiff who has a 38 inch neck and weighs 282 pounds.

With "paws the size of softballs" (reports the Boston Herald), the three-year-old monster is far larger and heavier than his breed's standard 200lb. limit. Hercules owner Mr. Flynn says that Hercules weight is natural and not induced by a bizarre diet: "I fed him normal food and he just "grew"... and grew. and grew. and grew.

Hercules' sheer volume may have won him the Largest Dog world record, but the Heaviest Dog title still rests with Kell who weighed in at 286 pounds in August of 1999. This English Mastiff, however, only has a 32-inch neck - far less than Hercules' 38-incher. Think about that for a second though - 32 inches is a standard waist size for a man!

Proud owner Tom Scott said Kell is two years old and is expected to continue to grow for the next two years. Kell needs to be fed 100lb of beef every week, and drinks gallons of goats' milk to stay healthy...

(P>S> Snopes says this is false, as it isn't the largest dog, but perhaps the heaviest, no matter,it's still huge! Check out Snopes here)

Sunday, April 22, 2007

There once was a fly on the wall
I wonder why didn't it fall
Because its feet stuck
Or was it just luck
Or does gravity miss things so small?

ha ha

There was a young fellow named Skinner
Who took a young lady to dinner
At half past nineThey sat down to dine And by quarter to ten it was in her.

What dinner?
No Skinner!

Mulga Bill's Bicycle

'Twas Mulga Bill, from Eaglehawk, that caught the cycling craze;
He turned away the good old horse that served him many days;
He dressed himself in cycling clothes, resplendent to be seen;
He hurried off to town and bought a shining new machine;
And as he wheeled it through the door, with air of lordly pride,
The grinning shop assistant said, "Excuse me, can you ride?""See here, young man," said Mulga Bill, "from Walgett to the sea,From Conroy's Gap to Castlereagh, there's none can ride like me.I'm good all round at everything, as everybody knows,
Although I'm not the one to talk - I hate a man that blows.
But riding is my special gift, my chiefest, sole delight;
Just ask a wild duck can it swim, a wildcat can it fight.
There's nothing clothed in hair or hide, or built of flesh or steel,
There's nothing walks or jumps, or runs, on axle, hoof, or wheel,
But what I'll sit, while hide will hold and girths and straps are tight:
I'll ride this here two-wheeled concern right straight away at sight."
'Twas Mulga Bill, from Eaglehawk, that sought his own abode,
That perched above the Dead Man's Creek, beside the mountain road.
He turned the cycle down the hill and mounted for the fray,But ere he'd gone a dozen yards it bolted clean away.
It left the track, and through the trees, just like a silver streak,It whistled down the awful slope towards the Dead Man's Creek.
It shaved a stump by half an inch, it dodged a big white-box:The very wallaroos in fright went scrambling up the rocks,
The wombats hiding in their caves dug deeper underground,As Mulga Bill, as white as chalk, sat tight to every bound.It struck a stone and gave a spring that cleared a fallen tree,It raced beside a precipice as close as close could be;And then as Mulga Bill let out one last despairing shriek It made a leap of twenty feet into the Dead Man's Creek.
'Twas Mulga Bill from Eaglehawk, that slowly swam ashore:He said, "I've had some narrer shaves and lively rides before;I've rode a wild bull round a yard to win a five-pound bet,But this was the most awful ride that I've encountered yet.I'll give that two-wheeled outlaw best; It's shaken all my nerve To feel it whistle through the air and plunge and buck and swerve.It's safe at rest in Dead Man's Creek, we'll leave it lying still;A horse's back is good enough henceforth for Mulga Bill."

My Country

The love of field and coppice,
Of green and shaded Lanes,
Of ordered woods and gardens,
Is running in your veins;
Strong love of grey-blue distance,
Brown streams and soft, dim skies -
I know but cannot share it,
My love is otherwise.

I love a sunburnt country,
A land of sweeping plains,
Of ragged mountain ranges,
Of drought and flooding rains,
I love her far horizons,
I love her jewel sea,
Her beauty and her terror -
The wide brown land for me.

The tragic ring-barked forests
Stark white beneath the moon,
The sapphire-misted mountains,
The hot gold hush of noon.
Green tangle of the brushes
Where lithe lianas coil,
An orchids deck the tree-tops
And ferns the crimson soil.

Core of my heart, my country!
Her pitiless blue sky,
When sick at heart around us
We see the cattle die -
But then the grey clouds gather
And we can bless again
The drumming of an army,
The steady, soaking rain.

Core of my heart, my country!
Land of the Rainbow Gold,
For flood and fire and famine,
She pays us back threefold;
Over the thirsty paddocks,
Watch, after many days,
The filmy veil of greenness
That thickens as we gaze.

An opal-hearted country,
A wilful, lavish land -
All you who have not loved her,
You will not understand -
Though Earth holds many splendours,
Wherever I may die,
I know to what brown Country
My homing thoughts will fly.

Written by Dorothea MacKellar (1908: written 1906)

Saturday, April 21, 2007

It looks hopeful

Johnnos whatisit

Ok this is grown in my yard (about the only thing that is growing)...what is it

Things that Shite me right off

Right, I have had enough, this planet and world are getting too silly for words.


1. Bees dying in their millions dying because of mobile phones. More important than whales or polar bears.
2. Building houses on prime agricultural land, then experiencing drought, and being forced to buy food from overseas, as we cannot feed ourselves.
3. Pollution up 94% in Europe since 1994.
4. Celebrities buying rainbow families to be trendy.
5. Infertile couples going through 6 years of IVF then giving birth to 6 daughters. Women aren’t meant to look after ‘litters’ of children, wrong!
6. Andre Jollie giving birth, then ignoring her own child whilst adopting more, then popping them all into childcare whilst she focus’s on her career.
7. Feeding children soft-drink like it’s water and a basic right, then turning on the tv to watch DVD’s all weekend.
8. The invention of the ‘rumpus room’ and ‘parents retreat’ in housing. Are children so horrid parents need to retreat from them? I think not!
9. Seeing a 10 year-old girl eat in a restaurant with her parents, blatantly holding her fork wrongly. Hello mum, teach your child so she knows, and can learn.
10. Watching the world weather on SBS and noting with dismay the huge brown patches all over our planet.
11. Reading ads for ‘Philippine or Javanese style furniture’ for patios etc. This is rainforest timber, we have no right to harvest it, and then watch their homes and communities slip down mountains from mud-slides when it rains.
12. Giving credibility to sick minds and murderers on front-page newspapers and media. Huge photos of mass murderers, over and over.
13. Horror films for entertainment, too graphic for viewing.
14. The rise of murder on TV, the new porn, violent, realistic, twisted.

North Queenslanders


There's something in the water that makes most north Queensland men stand, walk and talk with their hands on their hips.
Don't believe me?

Take a look at Johnno serving a bushie in his shop. (I feel like chicken tonight, chicken tonight!)

Friday, April 20, 2007

Big Brother Housemates revealed!

Aleisha, Andrew, Brodie, Cruz, Demet, Harrison, Hayley, Jamie, Joel, Kara, Kate, Rebecca, Sussanah, Thomas, TJ, Travis, and Zoran are expected to enter the house tomorrow night.

Doesn't ANYONE have a real name anymore?

Bring it on!


Secrets..shhhhhhhhh!


More here!

Emergency crews puzzled by yacht find



An unmanned yacht found drifting off the north Queensland coast had computers running and even food on a table ready to eat — but no crew, puzzled emergency services say.

The 12-metre catamaran KAZ II was first spotted by a coastwatch aircraft on Wednesday near the outer Great Barrier Reef after leaving Airlie Beach on Sunday.

The catamaran's dingy was still attached, police said, but this was disputed by emergency services crew out at the scene at dawn today who said there was no lifeboat to be seen.

A rescue helicopter identified the yacht overnight and confirmed there was no one aboard.

Queensland police have confirmed three men from Western Australia are missing. They men — aged 56, 63 and 69, according to the ABC — are thought to have bought the yacht at Airlie Beach and were sailing it back home to Western Australia.

Emergency Management Queensland spokesman Jon Hall said crews were puzzled by what they found because "everything appeared normal".

"They got on board and said the engine was running, the computers were running, there was a laptop set up on the table which was running, the radio was working, the GPS was working and there was food and utensils set on the table ready to eat, but no sign of the crew," he said.

"It was a bit strange."

Mr Hall said crews returned to the boat on Friday morning, around 80 nautical miles off Townsville, to check if anyone was trapped inside.

He said they retrieved the boat's GPS system to analyse data for clues to the mysterious disappearance of the crew.

"That will now enable us to track backwards where this yacht has actually been in the last few days, and we're hoping that can pinpoint the search area for the missing crew," he said.


Meteorologists have ruled out the possibility a freak wave swept the three men overboard.

"There was no evidence of a freak wave occurring in that area [in that time]," said Greg Connor, from the Townsville Bureau of Meteorology. "Weather conditions were relatively good."

Mr Connor said no unusual weather was recorded in the area between Sunday and Wednesday.

"There were quite strong trade winds — south-easterlies at 20 knots — but nothing that should have caused concern," he said.

The boat is now being towed to Townsville for closer inspection.

"It seems very unusual," north Queensland police Chief Superintendent Roy Wall told reporters in Townsville.

"The weather on Sunday, Monday wasn't too good - there was a fair sort of a wind blowing out there.

"But it's improved since then, so who knows what could have happened."

Seven aircraft were searching the vicinity for the three men this afternoon.

Their families were being kept informed of search efforts.

Meet Jokeri



Meet one of our newer Pattycam Watchers, Jokeri.

Cape York and beyond



I SHOULD be going to Cape York today, I should be having my lifetime trip that I have dreamed of since I was 18, I should be, but I am not.
2622.96kms, and the rest, poking into bays and inlets, mountains and vallies, on the way north, to adventure!

Look who's on BrisPaul's cam?

Thursday, April 19, 2007

MV BECRUX


This Is the boat which they have just loaded 18,000 cattle on to go to Indonesia...a record load...anyhow a few escaped...click on title to read the story

Three Things

Three Things that I am sick of hearing.....
1. Bombings in Bagdad
2. Immigration/refugees
3. Drought/water restrictions.

ARGH!!!!
What are yours?

Wednesday, April 18, 2007

No money from Big Brother

Prepare for a very disappointing season of Big Brother.

Well, for the contestants at least. They are set to be surprised, and probably furious, when they discover there is nothing to be won in the competition.

The deceptive removal of the million-dollar cash pool isn't related to a budget cutback on the show, The Daily Telegraph reports.

"We are launching series seven with no prize money for the winner," executive producer Tim Toni said yesterday.

"It's simply to keep ahead of the game with the housemates."

The contestants for the program are in lockdown on the Gold Coast now, and are unaware of the money withdrawal.

In addition to the show having no prizes, the cars that are usually given away on the housemates' exit from the house have also been scrapped.

International reaction to USA shootings

LONDON - The Virginia Tech shootings sparked criticism of U.S. gun control laws around the world Tuesday. Editorials lashed out at the availability of weapons, and the leader of Australia _ one of America's closest allies _ declared that America's gun culture was costing lives.

South Korea's Foreign Ministry said the government hoped Monday's shootings, allegedly carried out by a 23-year-old South Korean native, would not "stir up racial prejudice or confrontation."

While some focused blame only on the gunman, world opinion over U.S. gun laws was almost unanimous: Access to weapons increases the probability of shootings. There was no sympathy for the view that more guns would have saved lives by enabling students to shoot the assailant.

"We took action to limit the availability of guns and we showed a national resolve that the gun culture that is such a negative in the United States would never become a negative in our country," said Australian Prime Minister John Howard, who staked his political career on promoting tough gun laws after a gunman went on one of the world's deadliest killing sprees 11 years ago.

The tragedy in a Tasmanian tourist resort left 35 people dead. Afterward, Australia's gun laws were changed to prohibit automatic weapons and handguns and toughen licensing and storage restrictions.

Handguns are also banned in Britain _ a prohibition that forces even the country's Olympic pistol shooting team from practicing on its own soil. In Sweden, civilians can acquire firearm permits only if they have a hunting license or are members of a shooting club and have no criminal record. In Italy, people must have a valid reason for wanting one. Firearms are forbidden for private Chinese citizens.

Still, leaders from Britain, Germany, Mexico, China, Afghanistan and France stopped short of criticizing President Bush or U.S. gun laws when they offered sympathies to the families of Monday's victims.

Editorials were less diplomatic."Only the names change _ And the numbers," read a headline in the Times of London. "Why, we ask, do Americans continue to tolerate gun laws and a culture that seems to condemn thousands of innocents to death every year, when presumably, tougher restrictions, such as those in force in European countries, could at least reduce the number?"

The French daily Le Monde said the regularity of mass shootings across the Atlantic was a blotch on America's image.

"It would be unjust and especially false to reduce the United States to the image created, in a recurrent way, from the bursts of murderous fury that some isolated individuals succumb to. But acts like this are rare elsewhere, and tend to often disfigure the 'American dream.'"

Britain's 46 homicides involving firearms last year was the lowest since the late 1980s. New York City, with 8 million people compared to 53 million in England and Wales, recorded 590 homicides last year.
In Italy, there are three types of licenses for gun ownership: for personal safety, target practice and skeet shooting, and hunting. Authorization is granted by the police. To obtain a gun for personal safety, the owner must be an adult and have a "valid" reason.

Italy's leading daily Corriere della Sera's main story on the shootings was an opinion piece entitled "Guns at the Supermarket" _ a critical view of the U.S. gun lobby and the ease with which guns can be purchased. State-run RAI radio also discussed at length what it said were lax standards for gun ownership in the United States.


More...

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

Monday, April 16, 2007

Lino Landscapes


Have a look at this and marvel at the imagination of this artists work on lino.

My Dreams

I dream of dying, at least once a week these days. Almost once every 7 days, I dream of death, or dying, or being killed, or killing.

It appalls me, and always fills me with horror.

In one dream, Chris was driving our car down a steep hill. The road was wet, the light was fading, it must have been dusk.

He was in control, steering and driving the car.

I should have said “slow down!” or perhaps I should have said “brake for God’s sake!” or perhaps I could have even shouted “stay on your side of the road”, but I didn’t cry out any of those things, I remained silent, as I knew he wouldn’t listen.

He didn’t listen to me, because I didn’t say anything.

I could have, should have, said something; anything, but instead I sat beside him, white-knuckled, and screaming on the inside, but silent.

The wet, dark road took a slow bend to the left, and the next minute we are crashing through the scrub, smashing through the bush and hurling across treetops, when at once, we are air-borne, flying. I look down, and clearly see the city below us.

Everything is in slow motion now.

The city lights are beginning to come on with dusk, and we are flying through the air, hurtling downwards.

Looking at Chris and grabbing his left wrist, I say “We are never going to survive this! I love you - thanks for the kids!” before closing my eyes to the unfolding horror of the earth rushing upwards to meet us.

I wake with a start, I am barely breathing. It’s as though my body is already in shutdown. I remind myself I am awake, although I don’t believe it myself.

Breathe in, breathe out. I am alive.

But I just don’t believe it myself. I am filled with horror.

My new Glasses?




My new glasses, but which ones? See if you can guess!

LET'S MAKE A BIG LIST


How many kinds of "Pasta" can you think of ?

Saturday, April 14, 2007

Footy fever!

Re-live my football game!

GO BRONCOS!

GO! GO! GO!

View this montage created at One True Media
Bloody Footy

At the footy







Oysters before the football, followed by a large steak and a bottle of Margaret River Shiraz, yum!

At one stage, I was a drink behind (too much time videoing, ha!) and meeting up with old mates afterwards at the bar.

Time for a quick phoon of course, and then a photo with the Emporer of Lang Park, Mr Wally lewis!

Brilliant time, thanks Castrol Oils. *kiss kiss

Friday, April 13, 2007

Coming Soon


Shop fun




The things this lad gets up to when no-one is looking, yeah, right!

Diplomacy

I was told today by my Mum a story about what my my 5 year old nephew said to his mother when she asked him a question. She asked " David do you think your Mums fat". To which he replied, " Mum thats a question you should ask Dad not me".

The boys learning fast, hey ?lol

Help! Hands up someone please

I also need a volunteer to do a weekly "list" for me on the Blog, hands up anyone?

Johnnos friday whatisit no.1

Pretty isn't it?


Thursday, April 12, 2007

Eating Chocolate Gelato

Vacumn Cleaner - The Movie!

My new Vacumm Cleaner, who would have thought it was so exciting? Here.

Meet Leigh



Gotto love Skype, allowing us to not only chat, but to see each other. Love it!

Thursday, April 05, 2007

Happy Easter






johnnos whatisit no.2

Story Bridge gets into the Groove

STOP complaining about the Story Bridge's traffic snarls and click and listen to its beauty, sound artist Tom Hall urges

Wednesday, April 04, 2007

Smash, Bang, Wallop!


Griffin was practising for a charity race to promote his upcoming film, Redline, when he drove too fast around a curve at the Irwindale Speedway and smashed into a divide.

Video footage showed the red sports car screeching before it ricocheted off the barrier, causing heavy damage to its front.

"Undercover Brother's good at karate and all the rest of that, but the brother can't drive," Griffin told reporters after the accident, referring to one his past films.

After the accident, publicist Wendy Zocks said Griffin was "doing OK".

"He walked away completely unscratched, but probably a little shaken," Zocks said