Saturday, March 31, 2007

Friday, March 30, 2007

whats in a name

Big Brawl in Ballard

From the Ballard Bugle Archives March 20, 1950
By Tom Finkel

Ballard is the neighborhood famous for blond hair and blue eyes. It's older, ruled by the Scandinavian values of peace and tolerance—a small town next to a big city.

According to the Seattle Police report, last Saturday there was a big brawl in the fishing community of Ballard.

A group of Norwegians and Swedes started fighting in the Valhalla Tavern over and argument about the war between the Norwegians and the Swedes in the 1700s.

After awhile the fighting spilled out into Market Street. The Swedish group started throwing Firecracker at the Norwegian group. The Norwegians where picking up the Firecrackers, lighting them and throwing them back at the Swedes.

The fight soon broke up, when the Swedes ran away. Several arrests where made for drunkenness and disorderly conduct.

Sargent Moore of the Seattle Police Department, stated that there has been bitter animosity between the Norwegians and the Swedes since the 1700s when Norway was under Swedish rule. He continued to say that there have been Brawls before, But this is the first time that the fighting has escalated to the use of Firecrackers.

Saturday, March 24, 2007

Johnnos Whatisit earlybird special

Ok I might be sticking my neck out by showing you the full picture but what is this?

Thursday, March 22, 2007

Thongs verses thong

In Johno's weekly "what is it" last week. He stated that there is a misunderstanding of the word Thong (Sandels) between Aussies and Yanks.

I looked them up on Wikipedia. This what it said they are called in the U.S.

In the United States , they are generally known as flip-flops, thongs, and zories.
I knew them as Zori Thongs when I was growing up in the 60s.

Now a thong, to us (Yanks) is a swim suit or a thong bikini. They are nice to see on young women, but not so nice on obese people.

Affairs

The 1st Affair: A married man was having an affair with his secretary.One day they went her place and made love all afternoon. Exhausted, they fell asleep and woke up at 8 PM. The man hurriedly dressed and told his lover to take his shoes outside and rub them in the grass and dirt.He put on his shoes and drove home."Where have you been?" his wife demanded."I can't lie to you," he replied, "I'm having an affair with my secretary. We had sex all afternoon." "You lying bastard!You've been playing golf!"

The 2nd Affair:A middle-aged couple had two beautiful daughters but always talked about having a son. They decided to try one last time for the son they always wanted.The wife got pregnant and delivered a healthy baby boy.The joyful father rushed to the nursery to see his new son.He was horrified at the ugliest child he had ever seen. He told his wife, "There's no way I can be the father of this baby. Look at the two beautiful daughters I fathered! Have you been fooling around behind my back?"The wife smiled sweetly and replied, "! Not this time!"

The 3rd Affair:A mortician was working late one night. He examined the body of Mr. Schwartz, about to be cremated, and made a startling discovery. Schwartz had the largest private part he had ever seen! "I'm sorry Mr. Schwartz," the mortician commented, "I can't allow you to be cremated with such an impressive private part. It must! be saved for posterity." So, he removed it, stuffed it into his briefcase, and took it home. "I have to show you something you won't believe," he said to his wife, opening his briefcase."My God!" the wife exclaimed, "Schwartz is dead?!?!"

The 4th Affair: A woman was in bed with her lover when she heard her husband opening the front door. "Hurry," she said, "stand in the corner." She rubbed baby oil all over him, then dusted him with talcum powder. "Don't move until I tell you," she said. "Pretend you're a statue." "What's this?" the husband inquired as he entered the room. "Oh it's a statue." she replied. "The Smith's bought one and I liked it so much I got one for us, too." No more was said, not even when they went to bed. Around 2 AM the husband got up, went to the kitchen and returned with a sandwich and a beer. "Here," he said to the statue, "have this. I stood like that for two days at the Smith's and nobody offered me a damned thing."

The 5th Affair: A man walked into a cafe, went to the bar and ordered a beer."Certainly, Sir, that'll be one cent." "One Cent?" the man thought. He glanced at the menu and asked, "How much for a nice juicy steak and a bottle of wine?""A nickel," the barman replied. "A nickel?" exclaimed the man. "Where's the guy who owns this place?" The bartender replied, "Upstairs, with my wife."The man asked, "What's he doing upstairs with your wife?" The bartender replied,"The same thing I'm doing to his business down here."

The 6th Affair: Jake was dying. His wife sat at the bedside.He looked up and said weakly, "I have something I must confess." "There's no need to," his wife replied. "No," he insisted, "I want to die in peace. I slept with your sister, your best friend, her best friend, and your mother!" "I know, I know," she replied. "Now just rest and let the poison work."

Wednesday, March 21, 2007

CRAZY DAZE INDEED

Diva wins pantie tanty action

Opera star Dame Kiri Te Kanawa has won a lawsuit filed against her after she refused to perform with John Farnham.

In evidence in court Dame Kiri had expressed her outrage when she saw a DVD showing women's underwear being thrown on stage during one of Farnham's concerts.

Leading Edge Events sued the New Zealand-born soprano, her company, her former agent Nick Grace and his company for breach of contract, breach of contractual warranty equities and misleading conduct after she pulled out of a series of concerts with the pop singer in 2005.
.......................................... Needs to get over herself I think........................

What a crazy world.

Coach 'may have been murdered'


POLICE are treating the death of Pakistan cricket coach Bob Woolmer as as suspicious and cricket officials say they believe he may have been murdered.

Jamaican police announced today investigations had provided "sufficient information" to continue probing the coach's death.

Pakistan Cricket Board spokesman Pervez Mir said: "The police suspect that Woolmer may have been murdered."

Woolmer, 58, was found unconscious in his hotel room in Jamaica on Sunday morning and was pronounced dead after being transferred to hospital.

In the paper

I know, I look like a council worker leaning on a shovel...but at least we got the grass for free

Tuesday, March 20, 2007

Meet Maggie


Saturday, March 17, 2007

greenday

I am never comfortable having my picture taken but after a drink or three of Guinness I’m ok with it and its for a good cause

Friday, March 16, 2007

Joke

Two cattle drovers standing in an Outback bar.
One asked, "What are ya up to, Mate?"
"Ahh, I'm takin' a mob of 6000 from Goondiwindi to Gympie."
"Oh yeah........and what route are you takin'?"

"Ah, prob'ly the Missus.............. after all, she stuck by me durin' the drought."

Ouchhhhh that hurt


Rule No. 1 : Never bite off more than you can eat.

Murphy's Law

Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong. You will always find something in the last place you look.

No matter how long or how hard you shop for an item, after you've bought it, it will be on sale somewhere cheaper.

The other line always moves faster.

In order to get a loan, you must first prove you don't need it.

Anything you try to fix will take longer and cost you more than you thought.

If you fool around with a thing for very long you will screw it up.

If it jams - force it. If it breaks, it needed replacing anyway.

When a broken appliance is demonstrated for the repairman, it will work perfectly.

Build a system that even a fool can use, and only a fool will use it.

Everyone has a scheme for getting rich that will not work.

In any hierarchy, each individual rises to his own level of incompetence, and then remains there.

There's never time to do it right, but there's always time to do it over.

When in doubt, mumble. When in trouble, delegate.

Anything good in life is either illegal, immoral or fattening.

Murphy's golden rule: whoever has the gold makes the rules.

Nature always sides with the hidden flaw.

A Smith & Weston beats four aces.

In case of doubt, make it sound convincing.

Never argue with a fool, people might not know the difference

H M V


Her Masters Voice

St Patrick Day Jokes

What do you get if you cross a four-leaf clover with poison oak? A rash of good luck.

What do you get when you cross a pillowcase with a stone? A Sham Rock.

Why did St Patrick drive all the snakes out of Ireland? He couldn't afford plane fare.

What do you call an Irishman who keeps bouncing off the walls? Rick O' Shea.

Why can't you borrow money from a Leprechaun? Because they're always a little short.

Why should you never iron a four-leaf clover? You don't want to press your luck.

Statues

There were two statues in a park, one of a nude man and one of a nude woman. They had been facing each other across a pathway for a hundred years, when one day an angel came down from the sky and, with a single gesture, brought the two to life.

The angel told them, "As a reward for being so patient through a hundred blazing summers and dismal winters, you have been given life for thirty minutes to do what you've wished to do the most."

He looked at her, she looked at him, and they ran behind the shrubbery.

The angel waited patiently as the bushes rustled and giggling ensued.After fifteen minutes, the two returned, out of breath and laughing.

The angel told them, "Um, you have fifteen minutes left, Would you care to do it again?"He asked her.

"Shall we?"She eagerly replied, "Oh, yes, let's! But let's change positions.This time, I'll hold the pigeon down, and you shit on its head."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Cuz

I've learned...that life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.

I've learned...that we should be glad God doesn't give us everything we ask for.

I've learned.. .that money doesn't buy class.

I've learned...that it's those small daily happenings that make life so spectacular.

I've learned.that under everyone's hard shell is someone who wants to be appreciated and loved.

I've learned...that the Lord didn't do it all in one day.What makes me think I can?

I've learned...that to ignore the facts does not change the facts.

I've learned...that the less time I have to work, the more things I get done.

Happy St Pat's Day blah blah blah



Dig out your emerald green hats and shirts and join in the celebration of St Patrick's Day, held each year in honour of the 4th-century Welsh shepherd Maewyn Succat, who changed his name to Patricius, became a preacher and converted large numbers of Irish to Christianity.

Brisbane's 18th annual St Patrick's Day Parade, which takes place tomorrow, is set to be the highlight of an array of Irish celebrations.

Crowds of 30,000 or more are expected to line the streets to watch about 40 colourful floats and 600 marchers wind their way through the city. More....
Have a fabulous time however you choose to celebrate, slainte!

Thursday, March 15, 2007

Keeping your eye on the ball


Speaking of how people see other people through their eyes differently to another person this article was in today's courier mail online apparently media researchers using sophisticated technology have found men tend to look at a man's face and crotch in some pictures - while women only look at the face

Johnno's Mugshot


Brispauls mug shot

Johnnos Weekend Whatisit

Well done Dieter, yes it is an aussie thong




As I see it....my face


Ok, so I know it ain't that great, I couldn't find any almond shaped eyes, but here I am...ta daaa!

Have fun drawing your own, here.

Wednesday, March 14, 2007

Cyclone of the deep sits off Sydney



This scientific chart shows the deep blue pools sitting off the coast of NSW.

The marine equivalent of a cyclone is sitting off Sydney's coast, causing a massive whirlpool which is turning the ocean green and spewing chilly water towards beaches.

A 200 kilometre-wide cyclonic eddy has pulled the sea's surface down by 70 centimetres and sucked cold deep ocean water onto Australia's eastern continental shelf.

The whirlpool is 1000 metres deep, reaching the ocean floor, CSIRO oceanographers say.

The centre is 100 kilometres off the coast and could stay there for several months.

Satellites can measure the drop in ocean surface caused by the eddy's pull, clearly showing how it is pushing aside the powerful East Australian Current running off our coast.

Another eddy of similar proportions is sitting further off the coast.

The eddies were like underwater cyclones, and the latitude of the coast near Sydney put it right in the marine cyclone belt, CSIRO oceanographer Dr David Griffin said.

"This eddy is a particularly strong one - it's caused cold water to slop up onto the continental shelf and in places that water's available to come to the surface," he said.

"It's not happening right now off Sydney, but earlier this summer people will recall very cold beach temperatures - that was associated with the early phase of this eddy.

"It doesn't seem to be impacting beach temperatures at the moment, but that doesn't mean it won't happen again."

A run of warm water temperatures last September was due to an eddy spinning the other way, Dr Griffin said.
He said the current cyclonic eddy could chill water at the edge of the continental shelf from 18 degrees to 14 degrees.

"It has a big impact on ocean ecology - the cold water coming up has a lot of nutrients and when that's combined with sun, the phytoplankton grows like crazy," he said.

"That's why the water goes green, you can see that from a boat."

Is my head in the sand?

What am I missing here? Don’t get me wrong it is very sad thart these people died in a plane crash. Australian Federal Police (AFP) officers Brice Steele and Mark Scott, diplomat Liz O'Neill, AusAID's Allison Sudradjat and Australian Financial Review journalist Morgan Mellish. Is it because of who they are that so much has been made of it. After all it was not a terrorist attack,it was just a tradgic accident.

Tuesday, March 13, 2007

Sand Sculptures.Rye Victoria

Too hot!


Beautiful blue skies, not a cloud in sight, but hot! Hot! Hot! Mustn't complain really, my mum had 42c in Rockhampton yesterday. Now THAT"S hot!

Gingerbread cake in the making


How do you know when you are flying over Africa?


Will I live to be 80?

I recently chose a new primary care physician. After two visits and exhaustive lab tests, he said I was doing "fairly well" for my age.

A little concerned about that comment, I couldn't resist asking him, "Do you think I'll live to be 80?"

He asked, "Do you smoke tobacco or drink alcoholic beverages?" "No," I replied. "I don't do drugs, either."

Then he asked, "Do you eat rib-eye steaks and barbecued ribs?" I said, "No, my other doctor said that all red meat is unhealthy!"

He asked, "Do you spend a lot of time in the sun, like playing golf, sailing, hiking, or bicycling?" "No, I don't," I said.

He asked, "Do you gamble, drive fast cars, or have a lot of sex?" "No," I said. "I don't do any of those things." !

Then he looked at me and asked, "Then why do you give a shit?"

Daffodile

This is my daffodil. My one and only daffodil. I did, at one time, have loads round the tree in my front garden, but the squirrel has pinched the bulbs. So here it is.



It is a beautiful daffodil.

Monday, March 12, 2007

Canetoad devouring

March 3rd, 2007: Ed Pierce sent in this dramatic photo of a keelback devouring a toad on the Town Common to the Townsville Bulletin

4 minute shower


Here are the sums,
1 x 4minute shower per day
2 x 2 minute showers per day
2 x 14 minute showers twice a week
1 X 28 minute shower once per week

HOWZAT


The colour and the splendour of the 2007 Cricket World Cup Opening Ceremony.
Cricket ya gotta luvit

THE ORIGINAL COMPUTER

Memory was something you lost with age.
An application was for employment.
A program was a TV show.
A cursor used profanity.
A keyboard was a piano.
A web was a spider's home.
A virus was the flu.
A CD was a bank account.
A hard drive was a long trip on the road.
A mouse pad was where a mouse lived.
If you had a 3.5 inch floppy . . . . . . .
you just hoped nobody ever found out!

Application

Ok .. For those who do not know My two Uncles both named Jack .. here is Jack from Arkansas and he just got hired at Wal-Mart !!!

WAL-MART APPLICATION

This is an actual job application that a 75 year old senior citizen submitted to Walmart in Arkansas.

They hired him because he was so funny.....

NAME: Jack Buckley (Grumpy Bastard)

SEX: Not lately, but I am looking for the right woman (or at least one who will cooperate)

DESIRED POSITION: Company's President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place ?

DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.

EDUCATION: Yes.LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.

PREVIOUS SALARY: A lot less than I'm worth.MOST NOTABLE

ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.!

REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.

PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m. Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.

DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment.

MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here?

DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 lbs.?: Of what?

DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be "Do you have a car that runs?"

HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing House Sweepstakes, so they tell me.

DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job - no! On my breaks - yes!

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde supermodel who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.

NEAREST RELATIVE....7 miles

DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: Oh yes, absolutely.

Answer to Johnnos friday whatisit

click here

Sunday, March 11, 2007

I want to try this one out soon

Chicken-Stuffed Mushrooms:1/4 cup chopped onion (about 1 small, 2 tablespoons chopped fresh coriander, 1 egg lightly beaten, 1 tablespoon Dijon mustard, 1 1/2 teaspoons finely chopped ginger, 2 teaspoons soy sauce, 1 clove garlic -finely chopped, 250g minced chicken, 12 large mushrooms - stems removed. Heat oven to 230 C. Spray cookie sheet with nonstick cooking spray. Mix all ingredients except mushrooms. Fill mushroom caps with chicken mixture. Place mushrooms, filled sides up, on cookie sheet. Bake 7 to 10 minutes or until tops are light brown and chicken mixture is done. Serve hot.

Johnnos tropical WHATISIT

Ok, sorry about the blur but this is the complete thing you are looking at
guess what it is

Friday, March 09, 2007

Saturday lunch



Ingredients (serves 2)

* 4 thick slices woodfired bread
* 1/3 cup (80ml) extra virgin olive oil
* 1 garlic clove, halved
* 2 tbs balsamic vinegar
* 1/2 tsp brown sugar
* 80g wild rocket leaves
* 4 slices prosciutto
* 120g blue cheese, crumbled
* 10 walnut halves, lightly toasted

Method

1. Brush bread with 1 tablespoon olive oil, and chargrill or grill for 1 minute until golden. Turn over and cook for another minute, then rub one side with garlic.
2. Place remaining oil, vinegar and sugar in a small bowl, season and whisk to combine. Toss rocket with half the dressing. Top each slice of bread with a slice of prosciutto and rocket. Sprinkle with cheese and walnuts, drizzle with remaining dressing and serve.

Cheese and herb scones


how dusty

You would think the car never got a wash, this is three days dustm and its under a car port
Posted by Picasa

LEMON CHICKEN BREAST

LEMON CHICKEN BREAST
> Ingredients:
> 1 whole chicken (weight is dependent on how many servings are
> required)
> 1 large lemon, cut into halves
> sprig of rosemary
> salt and pepper to taste
> butter or olive oil, whichever you prefer
> Heat oven to 350 degrees
> Rub butter or oil over the skin of the chicken until it is
> completely coated
> Take a knife and gently separate the skin from the breast meat;
> Slide lemon halves under the skin with the peel side up.
> This way the juice from the lemon will coat the breast.
> Season skin of chicken to your preference, place sprig of rosemary
> into the chicken.
>
> Cover and place in oven for 30-45 minutes.
> Remove cover and continue to roast until juices run clear, basting
> every 15-20 minutes depending
> on the size of the bird.
> If you've followed these steps correctly, your chicken should look
> like the one in the picture.......................
> ENJOY!

Purple kiss


Mr Humpries, are you free?

John Inman, star of the 1970s TV sitcom Are You Being Served?, died today in a London hospital at the age of 71.

The actor, died in St Mary's Hospital in Paddington, west London, at 4am (1500 AEDT) after being ill for some time, his manager Phil Dale said.

"John, through his character Mr Humphries of Are You Being Served? was known and loved throughout the world," Dale said.

"He was one of the best and finest pantomime dames working to capacity audiences throughout Britain.

"John was known for his comedy plays and farces which were enjoyed from London's West End throughout the country and as far as Australia, Canada and the USA."

Inman's longtime partner, Ron Lynch, is said to be "devastated" at his death.

The actor had been with Lynch for 35 years. The couple "married'' in a civil partnership ceremony at London's Westminster Register office on December 23, 2005.

Inman played camp salesman Mr Humphries - with his famous catch phrase of "I'm free!'' - in the comedy series Are You Being Served? for a decade from the mid-1970s to the mid-1980s.

He starred alongside Wendy Richard, who went on to play Pauline Fowler in EastEnders, as well as Molly Sugden, Frank Thornton and Trevor Bannister.

Inman suffered from hepatitis A and had been taken into hospital for tests after problems with his liver.

It was revealed that he had the disease after it forced him to cancel the opening of a pantomime in London in December 2004.

Hepatitis A is an inflammation of the liver caused through eating contaminated food, which the star believed was how he came to have the virus.

It was initially hoped he would be able to return to the pantomime, in which he was due to play Wanda the Cook in Dick Whittington, before Christmas 2004, but he never worked again.

The virus is highly infectious and symptoms include fever, loss of energy and jaundice.

More....

Thursday, March 08, 2007

Bathroom Spy


My Da 2006


Taken also in early 2006, and yes Patty it's a Holden. lol

My Backyard 2006


This was taken early january 2006 before the full force of water restrictions came into being.

Pretty Please, rain!


Fingers crossed! Level 5 water restrictions are announced tommorow!

Cows charge M1 traffic


Same thing use to happen where in the suburb i lived in 10 minutes from Adelaide CBD, we had a big paddock behind us and it was nothing to see a cow or a horse that got loose grazing on our front lawn. The paddock is now a huge new estate. Good Times

Wednesday, March 07, 2007

Man sues Crown Casino for $30m gambling loss

A Gold Coast man is suing Melbourne's Crown Casino for $30 million he lost gambling in just over one year, claiming the gaming venue lured him in with cash and other incentives.

Harry Kakavas, a property developer, had himself legally banned from the casino in 1995 in the hope of halting his gambling problems. But he alleges that Crown's chief operating officer, John Williams, "devised a scheme" to bring him back to their high roller tables.

Williams allegedly instructed Crown employees "to do what was necessary" to lure Kakavas in again, The Age reports.

According to Kakavas, Crown provided its own private jet on about 30 occasions to fly him to various holiday and business destinations.

Sometimes when boarding the plane or entering a hotel room the casino had arranged for him, Kakavas claimed he would find between $30,000 and $50,000 cash in a box or bags waiting for him.

In a statement of claim by Kakavas, lodged in the Supreme Court yesterday, he said that Crown's interstate marketing manager, Richard Doggert, told him all he needed to come back was a letter from "any psychologist" saying he was over his gambling problems.

"What do we have to do to get you to come back to Crown?" Dogger allegedly asked. "Johnny Williams really wants you back here."

Upon hearing rumours that Kakavas had been gambling in Las Vegas, Crown Casino's VIP gaming vice president Ishan Ratnam allegedly called him on behalf of Williams.

"You don't need to fly 16 hours to Vegas, when you have a two-hour flight to Crown," Ratnam allegedly said.

"Johnny Williams said that we will let you bet more than what Vegas allows you, up to $300,000 per hand, and we will give you a 20 per cent rebate on losses."

Between 24 June 2005 and August 2006, Kakavas was allegedly back gambling at the casino after being provided a $1.5 million credit. The statement of claim alleges during that time "Crown won $30 million … by means of ill practice."

Kakavas claims the conduct of Crown was designed to cause him to lose "substantial amounts of money", and it violated Victoria's Casino Control Act.

After having moved to Queensland from Melbourne, Kakavas sold his house for $18 million in September 2004.

In 1999 he was charged with armed robbery along with two other men, but the charges were all later dismissed.

Tuesday, March 06, 2007

Australia, Indonesia on verge of prisoner treaty

Australia is finalising negotiations with Indonesia for a prison exchange treaty that will allow Schapelle Corby, Renae Lawrence and others to serve the remainder of their sentences back home.

The Indonesian Justice Minister, Hamid Awaludin, told The Sydney Morning Herald that the treaty will be signed after a final meeting in Australia.

More....

What was this?

Johnno, can you tell us what this was?


Monday, March 05, 2007

It's Hot

1.40pm 5/03/07
Temp 29°c 84°F Feels Like 32°C 90°F
Relative Humidity: 70%
Wind Speed & Direction: NE at 12 mph

Sunday, March 04, 2007

Saturday, March 03, 2007