Monday, July 31, 2006

Having a Glassa with santa


Should be egg time soon?
Patty

Sunday, July 30, 2006

Friday "What is it"

ok, it was the head of a sewing pin

Saturday, July 29, 2006

THREE THINGS

What Three Things can I present to Lori's family next week as a welcome gift? Suggestions please!!!

"King" all-blacked in Lang Park prank

A statue of rugby league legend Wally Lewis outside Brisbane's Lang Park was painted black early this morning in an apparent stunt by a New Zealand fan ahead of tonight's Bledisloe Cup match at the venue.

Police say security officers at the venue saw a man painting the bronze statue at about 4:15am.

The man ran off when he saw the security officers approaching. Police are currently investigating.

The stunt mirrors one before a State of Origin match this year, when the statue was painted blue.

Dubbed 'The King', Lewis captained Queensland at State of Origin level between 1981 and 1991 and was Australian captain from 1984 to 1989.

Tonight's Bledisloe Cup Test between Australia and New Zealand is the second game in the three-match series and Australia must avoid defeat to keep the series alive.

Friday, July 28, 2006

Dear Aunty Brispaul

Recycled Water & Sperm Counts





Drinking recycled sewage will it hurt you or not ? Read here about some interesting scientific facts about it. Guaranteed to change your thinking on the matter

bubba


Fact or fiction?

nough said :-)

tell his dreamin


Now that explains a lot

Thanks, but no thanks

FEDERAL Attorney-General Philip Ruddock's push for tougher censorship of books advocating hatred or terrorism is to be treated with caution.So too is his urging of tighter controls over what can be shown on television.
When Mr Ruddock meets state and territory attorneys-general in Melbourne today these matters will be on his agenda.
More relaxed is NSW Attorney-General Bob Debus who says the laws are tough enough already, adding that "I'm a bit worried if we extend the definitions, we're going to end up banning crime novels, and somebody's even suggested there's some pretty violent bits in the Bible".
Certainly we don't want explicit how-to-do-it books on terrorism on the shelves, nor grossly offensive television programs,
But democracy is at risk when zealous governments too quickly reach for the blue pencil to put beyond our reach that which they believe is bad for us.
Snopes.com said that this is false.

Origins: As the reaction to pieces from a Canadian broadcaster and a Romanian journalist demonstrate, Americans take great delight in encomiums to America and Americans authored by citizens of other nations.

This piece isn't such a case. The "What is an American?" article quoted above was not penned by an Australian (or a dentist), but by Peter Ferrara, an associate professor of law at the George Mason University School of Law in Northern Virginia. Mr. Ferrara's commentary was originally published in the National Review on 25 September 2001.
(Text enclosed in brackets was not part of Mr. Ferrara's piece as published, but was added by someone else.)


Written by an Australian Dentist....and too good to delete

To Kill an AmericanYou probably missed it in the rush of news last week, but there was actually a report that someone in Pakistan had published in a newspaper an offer of a reward to anyone who killed an American, any American.

So an Australian dentist wrote an editorial the following day to let everyone know what an American is . S o they would know when they found one. (Good one, mate!!!!)"

An American is English, or French, or Italian, Irish, German, Spanish, Polish, Russian or Greek. An American may also be Canadian, Mexican, African, Indian, Chinese, Japanese, Korean, Australian, Iranian, Asian, or Arab, or Pakistani or Afghan.

An American may also be a Comanche, Cherokee, Osage, Blackfoot, Navaho, Apache, Seminole or one of the many other tribes known as native Americans.

An American is Christian, or he could be Jewish, or Buddhist, or Muslim.In fact, there are more Muslims in America than in Afghanistan. The only difference is that in America they are free to worship as each of them chooses.

An American is also free to believe in no religion. For that he will answer only to God, not to the government, or to armed thugs claiming to speak for the government and for God.

An American lives in the most prosperous land in the history of the world.The root of that prosperity can be found in the Declaration of Independence, which recognizes the God given right of each person to the pursuit of happiness.

An American is generous. Americans have helped out just about every other nation in the world in their time of need, never asking a thing in return.

When Afghanistan was over-run by the Soviet army 20 years ago, Americans came with arms and supplies to enable the people to win back their country!

As of the morning of September 11, Americans had given more than any other nation to the poor in Afghanistan. Americans welcome the best of everything...the best products, the best books, the best music, the best food, the best services. But they also welcome the least.

The national symbol of America, The Statue of Liberty, welcomes your tired and your poor, the wretched refuse of your teeming shores, the hom eless, tempest tossed. These in fact are the people who built America.

Some of them were working in the Twin Towers the morning of September 11, 2001 earning a better life for their families. It's been told that the World Trade Center victims were from at least 30 different coun tries, cultures, and first languages, including those that aided and abetted the terrorists.

So you can try to kill an American if you must. Hitler did. So did General Tojo, and Stalin, and Mao Tse-Tung, and other blood-thirsty tyrants in the world. But, in doing so you would just be killing yourself. Because Americans are not a particular people from a particular place. They are the embodiment of the human spirit of freedom. Everyone who holds to that spirit, everywhere, is an American.

Please keep this going!Pass this around the World ?Then pass it around again.It says it all, for all of us

And did you know, Australia is the only country that has stood by the United States through all wars.

Lovely rain, rain, RAIN!!
Patty


Patty


Patty


Patty

What is it Weekend Worrier.
Patty

Thursday, July 27, 2006

Notable facts on Dayton, Ohio, USA

Notable facts

The city has a rich heritage of inventions and innovations, with more patents per capita than any other city in the nation. Some of these inventions include the cash register, the stepladder, microfiche, waterproof cellophane, pop top beverage cans, the movie projector, space food, parking meters, the airplane supercharger, the automobile self-starter, gas masks, and the parachute.

Dayton has received the All-America City Award three times.

The first All-American Soap Box Derby was held in Dayton on August 19, 1934.

A foggy day today in Brisbane
Patty

Wednesday, July 26, 2006

PattycamWatchers

PattycamWatchers


Australian Government
Department of Immigration and Multicultural and Indigenous Affairs


Application for Grant of Australian Citizenship
You must answer 75% (28 or more out of 37) of these questions correctly in order to qualify for Australian Citizenship

1. How many slabs can you fit in the back of a Falcon Ute while also allowing room for your cattle dog?

2. When packing an Esky do you put the ice, or the beer, in first?

3. Is the traditional Aussie Christmas dinner:

a) At least two roasted meats with roast vegetables, followed by a pudding you could use as a cannonball. Also ham. In 40C heat.
b) A seafood buffet followed by a barbie, with rather a lot of booze. And ham. In 40C heat.
c) Both of the above, one at lunchtime and one at dinnertime. Weather continues fine.

4. How many beers in a slab?

5. You call that a knife, this is a knife.

True or False?

6. Does "yeah-nah" mean

a) "Yes and no"
b) "Maybe"
c) "Yes I understand but No I don't agree"?

7. The phrases "strewth" and "flamin' dingo" can be attributed to which TV character?

a) Toadie from Neighbours
b) Alf from Home & Away
c) Agro from Agro's Cartoon Connection
d) Sgt. Tom Croydon from Blue Heelers?

8. When cooking a barbecue do you turn the sausages

a) Once or twice
b) As often as necessary to cook
c) After each stubby
d) Until charcoal?

9. Name three of the Daddo brothers.

10. Who was the original lead singer of AC/DC?

11. Which option describes your ideal summer afternoon:

a) Drinking beer at a mate's place
b) Drinking beer at the beach
c) Drinking beer watching the cricket/footy
d) Drinking beer at a mate's place while watching the cricket before going to the beach?

12. Would you eat pineapple on pizza? Would you eat egg on a pizza?

13. How many cans of beer did David Boon consume on a plane trip from Australia to England?

14. How many stubbies is it from Brissy to the Gold Coast in a Torana travelling at 120km/h?

15. Who are Scott and Charlene?

16. How do you apply your tomato sauce to a pie?

a) Squirt and spread with finger
b) Sauce injection straight into the middle?

17. If the police raided your home would you:

a) Allow them to rummage through your personal items
b) Phone up the nearest talkback radio shock jock and complain
c) Put a written complaint in to John Howard and hope that he answers it personally?

18. Which Australian Prime Minister held the world record for drinking a yardie full of beer the fastest?

19. Have you ever had/do you have a mullet?

20. Thongs are:

a) Skimpy underwear
b) Casual footwear
c) They're called jandals, bro?

21. On which Ashes tour did Warney's hair look the best?

a) 1993
b) 1997
c) 2001
d) 2005

22. What someone is more likely to die of:

a) Red Back Spider
b) Great White Shark
c) Victorian Police Officer
d) King Brown Snake
e) Your missus after a big night
f) Dropbear?

23. How many times must a steak be turned on a conventional four-burner barbie?

24. Can you sing along to Cold Chisel's Khe Sanh?

25. Explain both the "follow-on" and "LBW" rules in cricket and discuss the pros and cons for the third umpire decisions in the latter....

26. Name at least 5 items that must be taken to a BBQ.

27. Who is current Australian test cricket captain:

a) Ricky Ponting
b) Don Bradman
c) John Howard
d) Makybe Diva?

28. Is it best to take a sick day on:

a) When the cricket's on
b) When the cricket's on
c) When the cricket’s on?

29. What animal is on the Bundaberg Rum bottle?

30. What is the difference between a pot and a middy of beer?

31. What are Budgie smugglers?

32. What brand and size of Esky will you be purchasing?

33. Did you cry when Molly died on a Country Practice?

34. A "Hoppoate" is:

a) A breed of kangaroo
b) A kind of Australian "wedgie"
c) A disgraced Rugby League player?

35. What does having a 'chunder' mean?

36. When you were young did you prefer the Hills Hoist over any swing set?

37. What does the terminology 'True Blue' mean?


Your Score ………….

Tuesday, July 25, 2006


My Aunty the Mayor....sorry Kevin...lol Posted by Picasa

PattycamWatchers

PattycamWatchers


No one told him to go home
An Indian man spent more than eight years in prison after being declared innocent, because no-one told him he was free to go. Crikey ! As if it's not bad enough to spend some time in the old slammer, and I believe that Indian jails don't raye too high on the 'prison paradise' list, he does all that time because no one told him to go home.
Pratap Nayak, 28, was cleared by the High Court of the eastern Indian state of Orissa in 1994. But, neither officials nor his family " bothered " to tell him the good news, so he remained in prison, the Star News channel reports. Was he so unliked ?
Including time spent in jail during his trial, Nayak spent a total of 14 years in prison.
He said: "No one bothered about me. Not even my own family. They did not have the money or the interest. Naturally, I languished in jail."
He was originally sentenced to life imprisonment after getting caught up in a violent clash between two families in his village.
In 1994, the court declared Nayak and his five co-accused not guilty. The other five defendants had already been released on bail. But, by the time the judgement was announced, Nayak's lawyer had died and no-one bothered to inform him or the jail.
After being reunited with his son, Rahas Nayak, said: "How do I take care of him? We don't get enough to eat ourselves. Had he completed his education, he would have got a good job by now. They spoiled his life."

Ballerina

Ballerina

A large woman, wearing a sleeveless sun dress, walked into a bar in Dublin. She raised her right arm, revealing a huge, hairy armpit as she pointed to all the people sitting at the bar and asked, "What man here will buy a lady a drink?"

The bar went silent as the patrons tried to ignore her. But down at the end of the bar, an owl-eyed drunk slammed his hand down on the counter and bellowed, "Give the ballerina a drink!" The bartender poured the drink and the woman chugged it down.

She turned to the patrons and again pointed around at all of them, revealing the same hairy armpit, and as ked, "What man here will buy a lady a drink?"

Once again, the same little drunk slapped his money down on the bar and said, "Give the ballerina another drink!"

The bartender approached the little drunk and said, "Tell me, Paddy, it's your business if you want to buy the lady a drink, but why do you keep calling her the ballerina?"

The drunk replied, "Any woman who can lift her leg that high has got to be a ballerina!"

One way to beat the heat

An online friend owns a small tugboat company in Seattle. He told me they took one of the tugs out in the middle of the lake (Lake Union, Seattle) and aimed their fire pump straight up in the air. He said that a handful of kayakers paddled over to enjoy the adult version of running through the sprinklers. Just goes to show that tug boats can be real cool! :)

Seattle Heat (even at night)

Our local TV station reports the warmest night temperature ever since records have been kept.

From KOMO TV http://www.komotv.com 07/24/2006

SEATTLE - Erasers sure have been busy with the Seattle record books lately. And they don't even get any time off at night.

The high temperatures have been getting all the glory lately, but did you know Seattle just had the warmest night in their history Sunday night?

The low temperature Monday morning was a balmy 70 degrees. It's the first time the temperature has failed to drop under 70 since records have been kept in Seattle. The previous record for warmest night (or "highest low temperature") was 69 degrees set Sept. 2, 1974.

That record comes on the heels of a string of high temperature records the past few days.

The erasers first got their work in on Friday, when Seattle (97), Olympia (101), Hoquiam (90) and Stampede Pass (93) set record highs. Not to be outdone, Portland (104) and Vancouver, Wash. (104) also topped the charts. And Hillsboro, Oregon (just outside of Portland) tied their all-time record with 108 degrees.

Then, Saturday came along. Time to re-write more records.

Seattle (96), Hoquiam (91), and Stampede Pass (90) once again broke records. Olympia (99) tied theirs.

The record high temperature books sort of caught a break on Sunday. Even though temperatures were once again in the mid-upper 90s, it turned out in 1981, it was even hotter, and most records were near 100.

But! Seattle did tie a record for number of consecutive days at 95 or hotter at three. The last and only time it's happened before was in August of 1977.

Temperatures were on pace Monday morning to perhaps get to 95 again, meaning that record could be broken.

Going back to the "warm nights" theme, several of those daily records were broken this weekend as well.

Seattle (68), Olympia, (71), Hoquiam (60), Forks (58) and Bellingham (64) all set daily records for highest low temperature on Friday night.

Then came Seattle's 70 degree low Monday morning. That gave temperatures a great head start to try and reach the mid 90s once again for Monday afternoon, but cooler weather is promised Tuesday and through the end of the week.

Which is probably a good thing, since our eraser is getting really tired! :)

The Heat Wave, So Far

Just for those still curious, here's how the heat wave has stacked up so far:

Here's the official stats of the three day heat wave extravaganza:

Friday Saturday Sunday
Vancouver (WA) 104 94 101
Portland 104 93 101
Shelton 102 101 99
Olympia 101 99 98
Kelso 100 97 99
Bremerton 99 93 95
Bellevue 99 99 95
Seattle 97 96 95
Renton 97 95 93
Tacoma 97 93 93
Gig Harbor 95 91 92
Arlington 93 91 91
Friday Harbor 92 90 89
Port Angeles 91 90 87
Forks 91 86 87
Hoquiam 90 91 80
Everett 90 89 88
Bellingham 88 85 84

Monday, July 24, 2006



Patty

Frodocam
Patty

First the Movie now the Book








I thought the book always came before the movie lol

My diemma, grrrr

So this is where I am at today. Bear needs to get his Pilots License, so he can then sit for his theory, and then solo. He needs his Passport. His Passport is about to run out in 5 days time. He needs my permission, and hubby's to apply for another one.
On the form it says MOTHERS FULL NAME AS ON THE BIRTH CERTIICATE, but they actually spelt my name wrongly, twice, on his Birth Certificate.

I guess I left it up to hubby to sort out, and it never was corrected.

So now I have to explain why the name on the Birth Certificate is different from my name now. Easy, just supply the original Marriage Certificate. Problem. Can't find it, and I have no idea why. Easy, get a full copy, just supply the old Passport for me, plus a Drivers Licence.

Problem.

My name is different on both too, when we filled out my Passport application all those years ago, we were shocked to find that on my Birth Certificate, my name was simply Patricia.

But I have always been called Patricia Anne I said, and then unknown to me, my dear hubby changed my formal name to now read Patricia Anne, bless him.

But in between getting my Passport (under simply Patricia) and renewing my Drivers Licence, I am now Patricia Anne.

It goes on, and on, and on. Bleh.

A very old practical joke

Evidently this joke has been around for many years. I t was first pulled on me almost 30 years ago. I don't know why, but I thought I would do a Google search, and sure enough, the joke still lives on :)

I share my true story below, and followed by that is a much more recent version which was told by a radio journalist in Canada on CBC just two years ago. I shared my version with the radio host.

The second story has a very interesting surprise ending.

------

Hi Stuart,

You aired a story about the caged mongoose joke back in 2004. I first had this trick played on me almost 30 years ago at a small truck repair facility in Texas. While I was waiting for my truck to be repaired, I noticed this cage, similar to the one described in the story that you aired.

The shop owner was probably around 50 or so and he told me all about the mongoose and it's reputation of killing snakes. He casually mentioned that given it's nocturnal nature, it would look for the nearest dark place to go and hide. He told me that was the reason for the two compartment cage where all you could see was the tail sticking out of the dark part of the cage.

He said he would show it to me after my truck repairs were completed. This gave me over an hour to let my imagination run wild and ponder his comments. I paid my bill and he never said a word until I remembered that he had offered to show me the mongoose. He appeared busy and wanting to get on to the next repair job, but he did agree to take a moment and show me the mongoose. His showmanship was very polished!

I got down on my knees to get a closer look in the cage while the shop owner used a coat hanger to try and coax the mongoose out of the dark part of the cage where I might be able to see it through the screened part of the cage.

All of a sudden I notice some sort of furry animal dart out of the cage as the shop owner screams in alarm and says - "watch out!!! it's loose!!!"

I immediately leaped to my feet and started jumping up and down like a young child throwing a temper tantrum until I noticed that I was the only one dancing around and screaming. I never did notice the other half dozen or so mechanics that had quietly formed a semi circle around me to watch the gag. A gag that I'm sure was repeated many times a month.

I'd been had big time, but it was fun. And 30 years later I still recall and share the story with others, although I have never gotten around to building my own cage.

And thanks to the power of the internet many years later, I now know that this gag continues to live on. Curiosity being what it is, I wonder how far back in time this gag really goes. I would have been in my early 20s back in 1977 or 78. The story about the minister is a classic. I'm sure there are many variations of how to set up the victim. I think now, at 52 that I may have the credibility to pull this off with a straight face. I'm off to the basement workshop...

Kevin McClintic
Seattle, Washington


--------------

http://www.cbc.ca/vinylcafe/stories/index.html?29

The Mongoose
(aired: September 25 and 26, 2004)

Last year I bought a caged mongoose at a yard sale. Actually, it wasn’t a real mongoose…it was a the cage, or really a wooden box with a spring loaded mechanism… that propelled a discarded fur stole out of the top. The whole thing was much like a jack-in-the box except a small wire mesh in the top of the box gave you a fleeting look at what could really be a vicious mongoose. It was the ultimate practical joke machine. I did my best to sucker-in anyone I could find and pretty much without exception everyone who had a heart-stopping moment when the mongoose was launched from its cage would exclaim, “Oh my god, I think I’m going to have a heart attack.” Immediately followed by,” That’s pretty sick.” And within 30 seconds,”Hey, has my wife (or friend, lover, mother-in-law) seen this yet”.
Friends and neighbours would call and ask to borrow the mongoose machine or ask me to bring the mongoose over after having setup the scene so that an appropriate amount of curiosity was balance with fear of a renowned Cobra–killer. And so it came to pass on one Sunday afternoon when my neighbour was hosting a brunch for some of the members of his church that I got a phone call to bring over the mongoose and show some of his friends my exotic “pet”.

One by one, some as couples, every guest trundled down to the basement to have their wits scared out of them and then, of their own volition, they would go upstairs and set up the next mark. At some point the congregation’s minister arrived and was directed downstairs by one of his parishioners. As he approached the mongoose he said that he had ministered in Southeast Asia in his youth and was well aware of the mongoose’s vicious reputation. Well, I had a live one, he had taken the bait and it was time for me to set the hook. I explained that as he probably already knew, a mongoose is nocturnal so there was little to fear opening during the day and then I added, “But you wouldn’t catch me opening this at night”. I sprung the latch on the cage top and the bedraggled swatch of fur catapulted out the top. The Minister was no young man but in 2 or 3 steps he had put 10 meters between us. As he gathered in the scene he quickly realized it was a practical joke. His stare burned into my very soul and gathering an inner confidence he began his rebuke: “Young man, I find it virtually incomprehensible that you would take delight in preying upon the primordial fears of your fellow man to satisfy your own shallow desires”. A stab of guilt pierced the quick of my soul me and as I struggled to mount my defense, two of his parishioners appeared at the top of the stairwell. The good Reverend turn to them and in a kindly voice said, “Hello Mary, Hello Dave. Have you two ever seen a real mongoose? Here, let me show you something interesting.”

Rod Fuller
Waterloo, Ontario.

Viagra

A guy falls asleep on the beach for several hours and gets horrible
sunburn.
He goes to the hospital and is promptly admitted after being diagnosed
with second degree burns.

With his skin already starting to blister and seeing the severe pain
he is in, the doctor prescribes an intravenous with saline,
electrolytes, a sedative, and a Viagra pill every four hours.

The nurse, who is rather astounded, asks, "What good will Viagra do
him, Doctor?

"It'll keep the sheets off his legs.

Joke

For all those men who say, Why buy a cow when you can get milk for free. Here's an update for you: Now days, 80% of women are against marriage, WHY?

Because women realize it's not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage.

Sunday, July 23, 2006

Saturday, July 22, 2006

yikes


Two Blondes

Two blonde girls were working for the city public works department. One would dig a hole and the other would follow behind her and fill the hole in. They worked up one side of the street,then down the other, then moved on to the next street, working furiously all day without rest, one girl digging a hole, the other girl filling it in again.

An onlooker was amazed at their hard work, but couldn't understand what they were doing. So he asked the hole digger, "I'm impressed by the effort you two are putting into your work, but I don't get it -- why do you dig a hole, only to have your partner follow behind and fill it up again?"

The hole digger wiped her brow and sighed, "Well, I suppose it probably looks odd because we're normally a three-person team. But today the girl who plants the trees called in sick."

Friday, July 21, 2006

ha ha

The woman's husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she had stayed by his bedside every single day. One day, when he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer.
As she sat by him, he whispered, eyes full of tears, "You know what? You have been with me all through the bad times When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business failed, you were there. When I got shot, you were by my side. When we lost the house, you stayed right here. When my health started failing, you were still by my side... You know what?"
"What dear?" She gently asked, smiling as her heart began to fill with warmth.
"I think you're bad luck."

funny , thoughful maybe

A woman awoke during the night to find that her husband was not in bed. She put on her robe and went downstairs. He was sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee in front of him. He appeared to be deep in thought, just staring at the wall. She saw him wipe a tear from his eye and take a sip of his coffee.
"What's the matter dear? Why are you down here at this time of night?" she asked.
"Do you remember 20 years ago when we were dating and you were only 16?" he asked.
"Yes I do." she replied.
"Do you remember when your father caught us in the back seat of my car?"
"Yes I remember."
"Do you remember your father when he shoved that shotgun in my face and said.'Either you marry my daughter or spend twenty years in jail'?"
"Yes I do", she replied.
He wiped another tear from his cheek and said, " You know I would have gotten out today."

Our American exchange student


We have had an exchange student at our place for the last couple of days. What a well behaved and enjoyable person Kevin was. He comes from a place called "Paw Paw" in Mitchigan USA. That was our first exchange student and I think we will have to have lots more. Here are my two girls exchanging gifts with Kevin...we even gave him an Aussie Rugby Jersey to keep him warm.

The Morning After

ouch



I don't know how I did this , maybe its a sympathy blister following Johnnos candle burn lol

Web Cams Down Under

Want to keep track of Lori and her family in Sydney? You can control this cam which overlooks Sydney Harbour Bridge, and the famous Opera House. Have fun.

Here is another cam at Brisbane's Southbank, with lots of cafes, shops, gardens, outdoor movies in summer and so on. It looks east to the city skyline, watch for the City Cat ferries passing by.

Thursday, July 20, 2006

Check your undies!

The doctor said, "Joe, the good news is I can cure your headaches.

The bad news is that it will require castration. You have a very rare
Condition which causes your testicles to press on your spine, and the pressure creates one hell of a headache. The only way to relieve the pressure is to remove the testicles."

Joe was shocked and depressed. He wondered if he had anything to live for. He had no choice but to go under the knife. When he left the hospital he was without a headache for the first time in 20 years,but he felt like he was missing an important part of himself.

As he walked down the street, he realized that he felt like a different person. He could make a new beginning and live a new life.

He saw a men's clothing store and thought, "That's what I need -A new suit."
He entered the shop and told the salesman, "I'd like a new suit." The elderly tailor eyed him briefly and said, "Let's see... size 44 long."

Joe laughed, "That's right, how did you know?" "Been in the Business 60 years!" Joe tried on the suit. It fit perfectly.
As Joe admired himself in the mirror, the salesman asked, "How about a new shirt?" Joe thought for a moment and then said, "Sure."

The salesman eyed Joe and said, "Let's see, 34 sleeve and 16-1/2 neck."Joe was surprised, "That's right, how did you know?" "Been in the business 60 years!" Joe tried on the shirt, and it fit perfectly.

As Joe adjusted the collar in the mirror, the salesman asked,"How about new shoes?" Joe was on a roll and said, "Sure." The salesman eyed Joe's feet and said, "Let's see...9-1/2 E." Joe was astonished,"That's right, how did you know?" "Been in the business 60 years!"

Joe tried on the shoes and they fit perfectly.

Joe walked comfortably around the shop and the salesman asked, "How about some new underwear?" Joe thought for a second and said, "Sure." The salesman stepped back, eyed Joe's waist and said, "Let's see...size 36." Joe laughed "Ah ha! I got you! I've worn size 34 since I was 18 years old."

The salesman shook his head, "You can't wear a size 34. A 34 underwear would press your testicles up against the base of your spine and give you one hell of a headache."

ALWAYS get a second opinion...

little Quicky

The lottery joke .

This girl runs home and bursts in yelling, "Pack your bags honey, I just won the lottery!" He says "Oh wonderful! Should I pack for the beach or the mountains?" She replies, "I don't care...Just get the fuck out!"

A Burning Cake desire


Do not try this at home...New candles for Pauls cake...Instructions read (which I read after the event) Caution: READ INSTRUCTIONS ON BACK PANEL CAREFULLY BEFORE USING. CANDLES LIGHT QUICKLY(now they tell me) AND FLASH UP WHEN FIRST LIT. NOT FOR USE BY CHILDREN. DO NOT PLACE HANDS, ARMS OR FACE NEAR UNLIT CANDLES WHILE LIGHTING....So, after all that...Do you think they were trying to tell me something...*sheesh? Posted by Picasa

Landing an F-111 with no wheels

t's never happened before, and it'll probably never happen again, and that's something Flying Officer Peter Komar is very grateful about.

Flying Officer Komar was with Flight Lieutenant Luke Warner at the controls of a F-111 C-model yesterday, when the jet's left-wing wheel fell off slightly after take-off, forcing the team to make an emergency landing at Amberly.

Flying Officer Komar thought the take-off had been incident-free, before receiving a call from the control tower. "It was pretty close to just after take-off when we brought the gear up," he says, "and very soon after that, the guys in the control tower called us up and said that one of our main wheels was still on the runway."

Flying Officer Komar admits to being a bit shocked by the call. "[I felt] a fair bit of disbelief to begin with, and then it was, ‘oh dear, we’ve got a bit of a problem on our hands, so we better start thinking about troubleshooting'."

The pilot and his navigator then spent three hours circling over South East Queensland, burning off fuel, and making some important decision.

"Even just to dump the field probably wouldn’t have been the best think in that situation because the one thing about the F-111 is that it carries a fair bit of fuel and that gives you time in the air to sort out your problem," Flying Officer Komar says. "So the decision was made to climb and to hold and to go over every single bit of information we could think of."There were basically two options, the first was to land with the gear down, and the second was to land with the gear up, and we also had a bunch of guys on the ground using the simulator and coming up with their recommendations and plans as well, for us to consider, and we came to the decision that probably the best course of action was to land with the gear up."

During those tense three hours in the air, Flying Officer Komar was thinking of his fiancee. "[I thought] I’m going to lond and I’m going to see her, and I’m going to say, 'oh this happened today, but everything was OK' and she’s going to come back with, 'well, that’s it, you’re not allowed to fly anymore!'" he laughed.

As Flying Officer Komar approached the landing, his training started to kick in. "There is always a bit of doubt – you’re going to fly an approach really close to the ground, and things can go wrong, and that definitely crosses your mind, but I guess, there’s so much training involved, as you’re flying, and as you’re flying the approach, that’s all you’re focused on," he comments.

After seeing the landing numerous times on television news stories, Flying Officer Komar notes the landing looks a bit easier than it was. "It looked like a pretty benign landing on the telly – it didn’t feel like it in the jet!"

And now he can't wait to get back in the pilot's seat. "I’m actually pretty keen to go flying again, it was just one of those things – never happened before, and probably will never happen again."

Happy Birthday Paul from your mates at Pattycam.net

Happy Birthday to our mate Paul - hope you have a great day today.

Enjoy your cake that Johnno ate.

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Bournemouth


This is what Bournemouth looked like today.

Wednesday, July 19, 2006


Johnno bows to older and wiser cam operaters, like...er..me!
Patty

Two alligators

Two alligators were sitting at the side of the swamp. The quite smaller one turned to the quite bigger one and said, "I jest can't understand how's you kin be so big. We're the same age, we was the same size as kids. I just don't get it."

"Well," said the big 'gator, "What you been eatin', boy?"

"Politicians - same as you," replied the small 'gator.

"Hmmm. Well, where do y'all catch 'em?"

"Down 'tother side of the old swamp near the parkin' lot by the capitol."

"Same here. Hmmm. How do you catch 'em?"

"Well, I crawls up under one of them Lexuses and wait fer one to unlock the car door. Then I jumps out, grab 'em on the leg, shake the shit out of 'em, and eat 'em!"

"Ah!" says the big alligator, "I think I see your problem. You ain't gettin' any real nourishment.; Ya see, by the time you get done shakin' the shit out of a politician, there ain't nothin' left but an asshole and a briefcase."

Haha, will ya look at this, here I am (tired old housewife) surrounded by teenage girls in various states of undress. So funny (that my cam should be rated up there, highly) yet sad too. I wonder if the parents know, lol.
Patty


Patty

Good Morning My Dear

My Desk

Desktop shot - Johnno


Johnno's desk. Something about a cluttered desk means a cluttered mind? :) (Mind you, mind you, mine is much the same.) How about photographing YOUR desktop where your computer sits? Go on, share it with us.
Patty

This is why women have the babies! After I told Johnno to "straighten his horizons" he actually attempts to straighten the door. True!
Patty

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

Frodo 5.10pm Tues 18th July







Nobody home but just zoom in and look at the lovely colour reflections of the stones

Happy 6th Pattycam year online

And finally, one last indulgent tribute. I know it may seem over-the-top, but sometimes so is having a cam on in the early morning, late at night, and a most times in between. My poor, long-suffering family (and friends, ha!). Anyway, just a collection of old pics, for the newer viewers to Pattycam. Welcome, and enjoy.

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Doctor Doctor

A doctor and his wife were having a big argument at breakfast."You aren't so good in bed either!" he shouted and stormed off to work.By midmorning, he decided he'd better make amends and phoned home. After many rings, his wife picked up the phone."What took you so long to answer?""I was in bed.""What were you doing in bed this late?""Getting a second opinion."

Bad Cook

You Might Be a Bad Cook If...
Your microwave display reads "TILT!"
You know dinner is ready when the smoke alarm goes off.
Your dog goes to the neighbors' to eat.
Leftover crumbs make a great replacement for kitty litter.
Your kids know what exactly peas porridge in a crock pot nine days old tastes like. /Your family automatically heads for the dinner table every time they hear a fire truck siren.
Your family seems really interested in going to that restaurant that always has trouble passing the health inspection.
If the EPA requires that all your garbage cans be marked with large bright red "biohazard" symbols.
When you BBQ two of your kids hold water guns and the third has the phone with 911 on speed-dial.
Pest control companies keep pestering you, wanting to buy and patent your recipe for candy Christmas cookies.
The smoke alarm beeps if you even walk near the stove.
Your family buys Rolaids, Pepto Bismal, and Tums in bulk.
Your homemade bread loaf can be used as a door stop.
The last time you tried to make toast the kitchen caught on fire.
Your apple pie bubbled over and ate the enamel off the bottom of the oven.
You make tuna noodle broccoli surprise for your roommate and the surprise is that it glows in the dark!
Your tuna noodle broccoli surprise melts plastic and silverware.
You used three boxes of scouring pads, a bottle of Drano and a crowbar, but that macaroni and cheese still won't let go of the pan!
You look in a cookbook to find out how to boil water.
You call your mother to ask how long to boil cabbage to make cole slaw.
If anyone has ever broken a tooth while eating your homemade yogurt.
The family pets are no where to be found during dinner.
The dotty old man asked his dotty old wife to make him a hot fudge sundae. She went to the kitchen and returned with a plate of scrambled eggs. He got really upset and yelled, "Where's my bacon?!"

F1 -11 landing

A DAMAGED F-111 strike jet has made a precision belly landing at Amberley RAAF base after four-hour drama which began when it lost one of its wheels.

The plane's crew emerged from the aircraft seconds after it slid to a halt on Amberley's runway at about 2pm and ran to safety as firetrucks raced to dump foam on the jet.

The plane was slowed by an arrestor hook which caught an aircraft carrier-style wire strung across the runway.

But the plane's aluminium skin created a spectacular shower of sparks as it slowed to a halt.

The strike jet, based at Amberley, lost one of its nose wheels on takeoff at about 10am and circled at high altitude before attempting to land.

It is understood the damaged undercarriage was inspected in mid-air by another F-111 crew trying to assess the damage.

The crew chose to make a belly landing because of concerns that with one of the two nose wheels missing, the other nose wheel could twist sideways on landing and snap off the landing gear strut.

More here

PAUL!!!!...get that out of your mouth.......no seriously....keep it up, you are doing good, just keep rewarding yourself with the money you save Posted by Picasa

Sitting outside an F1-11 at Amberly.
Patty

I like Birthdays

Some of my favourite photos...music by Tommy Emmanuel...enjoy

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Patty

New York-AP- After 5 months of heated debate, the Commission of Human Rights of the United Nations has approved the new International Symbol of Marriage.

Patty

Monday, July 17, 2006

Frodo or Freda ?








4.00pm Monday 17 July: Either way they must be freezing up there.

Pattycam Watchers - woot! Celebrating 2 years of Blogging fun with my most amazing and gorgeous Watchers, thanks for being a wonderful part of my life

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Life at Pattycam - celebrating 6 years of Pattycam

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Pink!
Patty

Hanging on by a thread...
Patty

Glorious wattle in bloom, the scent is so heady, yum!
Patty

THREE THINGS

What Three Things should Lori's AmerIcan family do when they get to Australia, Queensland, and Brisbane?

They can be touristy, educational, or funny. (Or Three Things for each region)

Start thinking and Blogging!

What is it answer...A cuckoo clock...well done Patty Posted by Picasa