Friday, March 31, 2006

The Laadee of the house is waiting for her HIgh Tea *cough, Miss Gypsey. :)

Imagination List

Imagination List

1. What color is the letter "S"?
2. What does happiness look like?
3. What color is today?
4. What does purple taste like?
5. What does your self-image sound like?
6. What texture is the color green?
7. What color is the smell of your favorite scent?
8. What does love look like?
9. What is your favorite sense?
10. What color is your favorite song?
11. What texture is your favorite scent?
12. What does winter sound like?
13. How old is the letter "P"?
14. How does the letter "M" feel?
15. What color is the fragrance of soap?

Here we go again........High Tea for teens

You could eat off the floor

I was cooking tea last night, Sheperds Pie, some Roast Potatoes and some Baked Beans, Heinz of course. So I took a frozen Sheps Pie out of the freezer and put it in the oven at the right tempeture as the instructions stated. Place in oven if frozen for 50 minutes, so I did.

Then me being the bright spark decided to use my microwave timer instead of the big oven timer on account I cant be bothered figuring out how to set it up, dont worry thats a long story. Then 30 minutes into the microwave being on but nothing inside it I hear this almighty bang. I open the microwave door to find the glass plate inside has cracked and bubbled due to the heat and time it was on for.

After that for the remaining time the Pie and Roast Potatoes had to cook I used my wrist watch, 20 minutes later it was time to take out the sheps Pie. Then as I was lifting it out of the oven to the dinner plate the bloody thing slipped out of my hands onto the kitchen floor.

Its after 8pm by this time and I'm starving by this time as you could imagine, so I pickup off the floor what I can salvage of the Pie. Its a good thing I washed the floor only a few hours earlier.

So the moral of the story is that you can eat of the floor if you had to.

Bingo Johnno

Yes a Tape Measure, Sorry the pics blurred, I'm feeling a wee bit seedy this morning

Cheers dears!

Bye Mum, it's all been grand.....

Thursday, March 30, 2006

Lunch at Doyles, fresh oysters and simple fish n chips.

My be-u-tiful book on the Archilbalds, *drools


Mum in front of a Margret Olley

Having a rest between viewings, whew!

Me and Scotty, *cough (Storeman Packers Choice)

Sydney = Water, fresh oysters and chilled Chardy, cheers!

Syd - n - eee!

Wednesday, March 29, 2006

What is it?

Ok i admit it, I'm bloody well bored

My first solo wedding shoot.......I was asked to be best man at my good friends wedding...He also wanted me to do the photos...what a I did the photos....400 of them, here is a couple...The brides mother left the grooms ring back in the hotel room so I lent them my ring...Is that "something borrowed"?....does that mean that I am part of their marriage?

Tuesday, March 28, 2006

Answer to "What is it"....congrats Philius on the correct answer...The mens urinal at the Ettamoga Pub...north of Brisbane

Pro Hart Dies

Tuesday Mar 28 06:46 AEDT
Outback artist Pro Hart has died at his Broken Hill home after battling motor neurone disease.

The 77-year-old was diagnosed with the debilitating disease that causes muscle wastage late last year but his condition began to fail last week.

His family decided to cease his medication on Friday and the legendary artist died at 2.45am (AEDT) Tuesday, Pro's family said in a statement.

Pro Hart became a household name for his unconventional and diverse art works - which at one time featured in a popular carpet-cleaning advertisement.

He was "a truly remarkable Australian and one that will be sadly missed", his family said in a statement.

Pro Hart is survived by his wife, Raylee, and their five children - John, Kym, Marie, Julie and David.

In 1976 Pro Hart was awarded an MBE for his services to art in Australia and in 1982 received an Honorary Life Membership of Society International Artistique for outstanding artistic achievement.
Pro Hart was a kind and generous man who left his mark on the town of Broken Hill, says its mayor, Ron Page.

Mr Page said he had been close to the legendary artist, who had a soft spot for people. "He was a fantastic person; if you went to see him one-on-one, he would talk to you all day," Mr Page told ABC radio. "He didn't like huge crowds but he really enjoyed people, really loved people. "Everyone will have a story to tell; how kind, how generous, and what a fantastic person Pro was."

Born and raised in Broken Hill, Pro went on to raise a family and build an art gallery there. "He loved our city and we loved him," Mr Page said. "He treated us with kindness and friendship, whether we were rich, poor, famous. When you went to see Pro, you were a person and he treated you with respect.

©AAP 2006

Monday, March 27, 2006

Happy 86th Birthday Mum, we had a wonderful time celebrating.


Happy birthday Mum, love you!

Although I bought a roll of 'birthday paper' I must have left it at the shop. We find some old wrapping paper, and a bit of Xmas tinsel, taa-daaa!

That's me Mum!

Lunchtime and birthday cheers for Mum, *clink

Sunday, March 26, 2006

Commonwealth Games Closing Ceremony

What a bloody good ending, I had my doubts at the start but Dame Edna stole the show and and the Voice you did us proud Johnny Farnham. But whats with the Duck?

Friday, March 24, 2006

Johnnos weekender "What is it"

2006 Archibald Prize Winner

Five tips for a woman....

1. It is important that a man helps you around the house and has a job.

2. It is important that a man makes you laugh.

3. It is important to find a man you can count on and doesn't lie to you.

4. It is important that a man loves you and spoils you.

5. It is important that these four men don't know each other.

Bob Marley

I'm playing the song of the moment to my birds, they seem to like it. They like a bit of music. I have a Rosella and I did have two little love birds, but one died yesterday (Wednesday) and I have no idea why, one of those things I suppose. So the other little love bird (his name is Nookie) is being pampered.


I will be handing in my notice, when I go to work tomorrow (Friday). Hooray!!

Thursday, March 23, 2006

Bloody hell!

A major conservative American lobby group is set to unleash a campaign of protest against Australian tourism's "where the bloody hell are you?" TV advertisement.
The controversial commercial made has its US debut in front of 20 million American TV viewers and one influential group was not amused.
The American Family Association (AFA), which has more than two million members and leads campaigns against abortion and gay rights, was upset with the bikini-clad model Lara Bingle's use of "bloody" and "hell" in the ad's tagline.
AFA members are expected to bombard Tourism Australian with thousands of emails and phone calls in coming weeks to vent their feelings.

Members are also expected to boycott Australia as a holiday destination.
"I just feel pretty sure the typical American family who is watching TV with their children and they're exposed to this ad are going to be upset," AFA director of special projects, Randy Sharp, told AAP.
"I don't want my children to hear that phrase.
"It's a shocking phrase because we're not familiar with it.
"I guess they use it all the time in Australia, but it's a foreign language here so I think it'll have a negative impact rather than positive."
British TV authorities dropped a ban on the use of the word "bloody" after pressure from Australia, but now Canadian authorities are unhappy with the way the ad portrays beer drinking.

"When you think 'bloody' in America you think the red liquid that flows from human bodies which is usually a sign of some kind of violence," Sharp said.

What is it?

OK folks - here is my very first OK folks - here is my very first "What is it?" This should be easy since you get to see the whole picture.


Bruce is driving over the Sydney Harbour Bridge one day when he sees his girlfriend, Sheila about to throw herself off.

Bruce slams on the brakes and yells "Sheila, what the hell d'ya think you're doing?"

Sheila turns around with a tear in her eye and says, "G'day Bruce. Ya got me pregnant and so now I'm gonna kill myself."

Bruce gets a lump in his throat when he hears this.

He says "Strewth Sheila..... Not only are you a great shag but you're a real sport too." and drives off.


There's an Englishman, Irishman & a Scotsman all talking about their teenage daughters.

The Englishman says "I was cleaning my daughter's room the other day & I found a packet of cigarettes. I was really shocked as I didn't even know she smokes".

The Scotsman says "That's nothing. I was cleaning my daughter's room the other day when I came across a half full bottle of Vodka. I was really shocked as I didn't even know she drank."

With that the Irishman says "Both of you have got nothing to worry about. I was cleaning my daughter's room the other day when I found packet of condoms. I was really shocked.

I didn't even know she had a willy."


Will Young, Robbie and Kylie went for a night on the town, as they left the night-club, Kylie slipped and got her head stuck between the railings of the fence opposite the club.

Robbie decided to take full advantage of this and lifted up her little skirt, pushed her thong to one side and gave her a good seeing to.

"Its your turn now, Will" grinned Robbie but Will started crying.

Robbie asked "Why are you crying, Will? What's wrong?"

Will sobbed "My head won't fit between the railings"


Mildred was a 93-year-old woman who was particularly despondent over the recent death of her husband Earl. She decided that she would just kill herself and join him in death.

Thinking that it would be best to get it over with quickly, she took out Earl's old Army pistol and made the decision to shoot herself in the heart since it was so badly broken in the first place.

Not wanting to miss the vital organ and become a vegetable and burden to someone, she called her Doctor's office to inquire as to just exactly where the heart would be.

"On a woman," the doctor said, "your heart would be just below your left breast."

Later that night, Mildred was admitted to the hospital with a gunshot wound to her knee.

Policeman testifies in Court

Policeman testifies in Court

If you ever testify in court, you might wish you could have been as sharp as this policeman. He was being cross-examined by a defense attorney during a felony trial. The lawyer was trying to undermine the policeman's credibility....

Q: "Officer -- did you see my client fleeing the scene?"

A: "No sir. But I subsequently observed a person matching the description of the offender, running several blocks away."

Q: "Officer -- who provided this description?"

A: "The officer who responded to the scene."

Q: "A fellow officer provided the description of this so-called offender. Do you trust your fellow officers?"

A: "Yes, sir. With my life."

Q: "With your life? Let me ask you this then officer. Do you have a room where you change your clothes in preparation for your daily duties?"

A: "Yes sir, we do! "

Q: "And do you have a locker in the room?"

A: "Yes sir, I do."

Q: "And do you have a lock on your locker?"

A: "Yes sir."

Q: "Now why is it, officer, if you trust your fellow officers with your life, you find it necessary to lock your locker in a room you share with these same officers?"

A: "You see, sir -- we share the building with the court complex, and sometimes lawyers have been known to walk through that room."

The courtroom erupted in laughter, and a prompt recess was called.

Dobie Gilles and Maynard

Sex in the Dark

There was this couple that had been married for 20 years. Every time they made love the husband always insisted on shutting off the light.

Well, after 20 years the wife felt this was ridiculous. She figured she would break him out of this crazy habit. So one night, while they were in the middle of a wild, screaming, romantic session, she turned on the lights. She looked down and saw her husband was holding a battery-operated leisure device... a vibrator! Soft,wonderful and larger than a real one.She went completely ballistic.

"You impotent bastard," She screamed at him, "how could you be lying to me all of these years? You better explain yourself!"

The husband looks her straight in the eyes and says calmly: "I'llexplain the toy . . . you explain the kids."


What Three Things are a sure sign you are in love?

What Three Things define love?

Bottled bananas!


Bananas won't be seenin Australia for the next 3 years, with 90% of the crop wiped out from Cyclone Larry. Whilst there will be a small remaining crop available, the prices will be like gold. Australia has definetly ruled out importing bananas (hurrah!) as the risk of disease is too great, so for now, I will look at my last two bananas. Sigh. Good luck and Bless the farmers.

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

Who dis den? Some blond hairy bastard has taken over BrisPauls head! Ekkkk! *screams and runs away

Called the Warnee look

its all the rage apparently

cyclone larry...pure force!

cyclone Larry...once a sugar mill

cyclone larry...Once the Hotel Castor *sniff

cyclone is closed for a while

Cyclone Larry....snapping a pole like a toothpick

Cyclone Larry...once a hotel...*sniff

Cyclone Larry damage...once a home

Now its the Bloody Canadians sheesh

Canada bans Aussie ad campaign
Wednesday Mar 22 05:59 AEDT

No sooner than British censors cleared Australia's colourful tourism campaign, Canadian officials have banned it, but not because of the word "bloody".

The Canadian Broadcasting Corporation has refused to run the "Where The Bloody Hell Are You" ad during family television programming because of the word "hell," Toronto's Globe and Mail newspaper reports.

"It just shows you the different taste levels of audiences in various cultures," CBC spokeswoman Ruth Ellen Soles told the newspaper.

VIDEO: In hot water over hell "'Hell' is a problem for us in terms of kids and family viewing. It comes under the category of 'taste' and in these situations we listen to what our audience tells us."

Tourism Australia last week submitted the commercials to the CBC and to Telecaster, which screens commercials before they appear on Canada's private broadcasters.

The CBC said the ad could run alongside most of its content, but not on two programs it characterised as "family" programming. It also would not be allowed in family Easter specials."We've also told the agency that we'll be monitoring audience reaction and if we get a significant number of complaints, we'll rethink running it," Soles told the Globe and Mail.

The head of Telecaster said that although it had approved the ads, it would flag them so individual broadcasters knew they contained objectionable language.

"Those are words that we would generally have problems with. They're on our list of bad words because we don't want kids picking up on that," said Jim Patterson, president and chief executive officer of the Television Bureau of Canada, which runs Telecaster.
Tourism Australia's Canada director Luke Jones said the adverts were likely to run there later this month or next.

British authorities allowed the advert to screen there at the weekend after Tourism Minister Fran Bailey flew over to persuade them to change their minds.

British television audiences will now be able to see the entire advertisement, which features Australia's top tourist attractions and ends with the tag line: "So where the bloody hell are you?".

The ad was pulled after Britain's Broadcast Advertising Clearance Centre (BACC) objected to use of the word "bloody".

Tuesday, March 21, 2006


Thinking about the aftermath of Cyclone Larry in North Queensland, what Three Things would you pack in an evacuation, bearing in mind you don't know a) how long you will be gone for, and b) you don't know what you will be coming home to.

Wow, what a weekend (understatement).
We were having such a wonderful time on Sunday sitting around at the beach having a few drinks (as you do). Radio was on so we could listen to the cyclone alarms. We took down all our shade cloths and turned boats upside down and just sat back and waited. Towards late afternoon I said to a couple of the others, "can you hear that!"�.They looked at me strange and said that they could not hear anything.
Normally we could always hear the sounds of the lorikeets and the black cockatoos ect, but it was just dead silence, we could have heard a pin drop.
Just on dark, my wife Cathy decided to take the kids home for some dinner and to get ready for school in the morning.
I had a bit of a sleep and woke about 7.30pm so the neighbors decided to drive me home just around the corner. It was when we pulled up at my beachfront that we heard the warning sirens on the radio and the words "This is to advise all the residents of the northern beaches that you must evacuate immediately". It was a mandatory evacuation, MUST LEAVE.
I ran up to the house and told Cathy to grab mattresses and pillows act and lets get the hell out of here. We proceeded to ring a few neighbors and started to invite them to my safe work place in town. Then we loaded the dog, cat, the birds and the girls into the cars and headed away from the beach, not really sure what we were going to come back to. Apparently just after we got out the police and emergency workers arrived at the beach to begin knocking on doors and clearing out the rest of the people.
At work, by the time everyone arrived we ended up with 4 dogs, 2 cats, 2 birds, 14 adults and 3 kids. Most stayed up for hours playing cards and listening to the radio and watching the devastation of poor Innisfail, 200 kms north of us. They finally let us back into the beach at about 10.30am where we all caught up on some well-earned rest, getting ready now for Cyclone Wati, which is coming in from the same direction.

Monday, March 20, 2006


Snow is a lot like sex; you never know how many inches you'll get or how long it'll last.

Oh dear, what happens when you get more than 500 hits in one day *snigger.

Larry, Larry, Larry.


A summary of life..

little children have learned..
1 No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize the cat.
2. When your mum is mad at your dad don't let her brush your hair.
3.If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second person.
4. You can't trust a dog with your food.

Adults have learned.
1. Raising teenagers it like nailing jelly to a tree.
2.Wrinkles don't hurt
3.Laughing is good exercise,. Its like jogging on the inside .
4.Middle age is when you choose your cereal .

Growing old
Growing ols is mandatory, growing up is optional.
Forget the health foods I need all the preservatives i can get.

When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while your down there .

So this is what my movie looks like, the music and sound effects below, Captions and Titles above, and then the image and transisitions.

Finally buring my Master DVD. I could cry I am so releived and happy.

Cyclone Larry

Frightened residents of far north Queensland have told of the terrible power of Cyclone Larry, which left a trail of destruction as it made landfall.
Roofs were torn off buildings and trees flattened as the most destructive part of the storm hammered the coast near Innisfail, south of Cairns, bringing winds of up to 290kph.
"It's just frightening. I don't get scared much but this is something to make any man tremble in his boots," said Innisfail resident Des Hensler.
Bruce Gunn from the Cyclone Warning Centre said it was one of the biggest cyclones ever seen.
"We haven't had a cyclone of this category cross the coast in a populated area for quite a long time," he told ABC radio.
"It's a very grave situation."
There were early, unconfirmed, reports of some casualties in Cairns and some people were feared missing, the weather bureau said.
Residents were warned to stay inside to avoid injury by flying debris.
Cyclone Larry hit the Queensland coast as a maximum category five storm, but was later downgraded to a category four as it headed inland, where it was expected to weaken
o add to the region's concern, a second cyclone, Wati, has formed behind Larry but was near Vanuatu, still days away from hitting the Australian coast.
Millions of dollars worth of sugar and banana crops have already been wiped out by Cyclone Larry, and Johnstone Shire Council deputy mayor George Parvan said many farmers would be plunged into financial ruin for up to 18 months.
He said Larry was far worse that Cyclone Winifred, which struck south of Innisfail in February 1986, destroying 50 homes and damaging hundreds of others, killing three and injuring 20.
Prime Minister John Howard says the federal government and the military will do everything possible to help victims of Cyclone Larry.
Mr Howard said he had spoken with Queensland Premier Peter Beattie and they had agreed to work together on the relief effort.
Mr Howard said he was "very confident" the cyclone would not result in the chaos seen in New Orleans after Hurricane Katrina.
"You are never totally prepared for something like this, but I am impressed that people have already been evacuated," he said.
"Australians are very good at responding to these things because everybody pitches in." Mr Hensler said the cyclone was the most frightening storm he had seen in the "35 to 40" years he had lived in far north Queensland.
He said he was sheltering alone in a church, with water up to his ankles, "just standing in a place where I'm not going to get killed".
"A tree has just fallen on a house, (and there's a) street light actually touching the ground, that's how strong the wind is," he told the Seven Network.
"There's a grey sheet of water, horizontal to the ground, and just taking everything in its path.
"And believe me, it's taking everything ... it is totally scary."


Downgraded to catorgory 4 now that it's crossed the coast.

About to cross coast!

Johnno's friends and family take shelter at work. When asked by Patty if he had water stored, he replied "We have beer" and when further pressed that his kids couldn't drink beer, he said "They have Coke"

What are we going to do with him?

Cyclone Larry about to cross the coast at Innisfail, 200 kms north of Johnno. He and his family were evactuated at midnight, and are sheltering at his work, along with pets, friends and work collegues.