Statues

There were two statues in a park, one of a nude man and one of a nude woman. They had been facing each other across a pathway for a hundred years, when one day an angel came down from the sky and, with a single gesture, brought the two to life.

The angel told them, "As a reward for being so patient through a hundred blazing summers and dismal winters, you have been given life for thirty minutes to do what you've wished to do the most."

He looked at her, she looked at him, and they ran behind the shrubbery.

The angel waited patiently as the bushes rustled and giggling ensued.After fifteen minutes, the two returned, out of breath and laughing.

The angel told them, "Um, you have fifteen minutes left, Would you care to do it again?"He asked her.

"Shall we?"She eagerly replied, "Oh, yes, let's! But let's change positions.This time, I'll hold the pigeon down, and you shit on its head."

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Cuz

I've learned...that life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.

I've learned...that we should be glad God doesn't give us everything we ask for.

I've learned.. .that money doesn't buy class.

I've learned...that it's those small daily happenings that make life so spectacular.

I've learned.that under everyone's hard shell is someone who wants to be appreciated and loved.

I've learned...that the Lord didn't do it all in one day.What makes me think I can?

I've learned...that to ignore the facts does not change the facts.

I've learned...that the less time I have to work, the more things I get done.