The things I see when I don't have a gun.....
Wednesday, January 31, 2007
The dam thing about water
Falling dam levels threaten city
* Greg Roberts
* January 31, 2007
THE dam supplying most of Brisbane's water has fallen almost half a percentage point in just one week, raising the prospect of the city running dry before recycled sewage can be pumped to it.
SEQ Water chief executive Rob Drury warned that if no substantial rain fell, the level of the Wivenhoe Dam over the next 12 months would fall an average of one percentage point every three weeks.
"That is a worst-case scenario," Mr Drury said.
"It assumes no significant inflows on top of five or six years of very dry conditions."
The capacity of the dam yesterday was a record low 20.7 per cent. The water level has fallen 0.4 of a point over the past seven days, which have been the hottest week of a generally mild summer in southeast Queensland.
The capacity of the North Pine Dam, another water storage supplying Brisbane, has fallen to 19per cent.
At the same time the QLD government is trying to get more families from NSW and Vic to move to Queensland. Does this make any sense at all?
A
* Greg Roberts
* January 31, 2007
THE dam supplying most of Brisbane's water has fallen almost half a percentage point in just one week, raising the prospect of the city running dry before recycled sewage can be pumped to it.
SEQ Water chief executive Rob Drury warned that if no substantial rain fell, the level of the Wivenhoe Dam over the next 12 months would fall an average of one percentage point every three weeks.
"That is a worst-case scenario," Mr Drury said.
"It assumes no significant inflows on top of five or six years of very dry conditions."
The capacity of the dam yesterday was a record low 20.7 per cent. The water level has fallen 0.4 of a point over the past seven days, which have been the hottest week of a generally mild summer in southeast Queensland.
The capacity of the North Pine Dam, another water storage supplying Brisbane, has fallen to 19per cent.
At the same time the QLD government is trying to get more families from NSW and Vic to move to Queensland. Does this make any sense at all?
A
Tuesday, January 30, 2007
Welcome to our new look Blog!
You may not notice any changes at first, but this Blog will now have linked postings, or something like that anyway.
Hopefully you will all signup with your g.mail account, and we can play in our favorite part of the cyber world.
Dieter and I have done it, what on earth are ya waiting for? *cracks whip!
Hopefully you will all signup with your g.mail account, and we can play in our favorite part of the cyber world.
Dieter and I have done it, what on earth are ya waiting for? *cracks whip!
Monday, January 29, 2007
Microsoft help line
I think I have talked to him . . . Have you??
Mujibar was trying to get a job in India
The Personnel Manager said, "Mujibar, you have
passed all the tests, except one. Unless you pass
it you cannot qualify for this job."
Mujibar said, "I am ready"
The manager said, "Make a sentence using the
words Yellow, ! Pink and G reen."
Mujibar thought for a few minutes and said,
"Mister manager, I am ready"
The manager said, " G o ahead."
Mujibar said, "The telephone goes green, green,
and I pink it up, and say, 'Yellow, this is Mujibar.'"
Mujibar now works as a technician at a call
center for computer problems
No doubt you have spoken to him. I have.
612's new home - the love busses
While other Brisbane radio stations are starting the year with flashy cash giveaways and advertising blitzes, 612 ABC Brisbane is demonstrating that a minimalist setup can yield great results when it's backed by great teamwork, talent and a LOT of flexibility.
All departments from the ABC site at Toowong - including 612 ABC Brisbane - have recently had to relocate, after an investigation into incidences of breast cancer among ABC staff found that there is a higher instance of breast cancer than normal at the Toowong site.
Some 612 ABC Brisbane staff have been operating out of the ABC's Gold Coast studios for the last five weeks, but now that all teams have returned from their break, 612 ABC Brisbane is broadcasting from a new location - two busses in the carpark of an office building in Lissner Street.
"We have two busses - one from Darwin, one from Sydney - which were built as outside broadcast units, and we've got a producer's area in a site hut, which is between the two studio [busses]," explains Robert 'Aussie Bob' Apolloni, Local Radio Queensland's Operations Coordinator.
Visitors to the website will be able to watch the construction of the new studio take place. "We're also going to start building our new Studio 408, so those people who've got a webcam, from tomorrow, you can see us start to disassemble Studio 408, and then we'll bring it all over here, and you can see us reassemble Studio 408," says Aussie. It'll be a lot like those TV renovation show, except Aussie's not expecting to have it done in half an hour, and he doesn't have a dog.
More....
All departments from the ABC site at Toowong - including 612 ABC Brisbane - have recently had to relocate, after an investigation into incidences of breast cancer among ABC staff found that there is a higher instance of breast cancer than normal at the Toowong site.
Some 612 ABC Brisbane staff have been operating out of the ABC's Gold Coast studios for the last five weeks, but now that all teams have returned from their break, 612 ABC Brisbane is broadcasting from a new location - two busses in the carpark of an office building in Lissner Street.
"We have two busses - one from Darwin, one from Sydney - which were built as outside broadcast units, and we've got a producer's area in a site hut, which is between the two studio [busses]," explains Robert 'Aussie Bob' Apolloni, Local Radio Queensland's Operations Coordinator.
Visitors to the website will be able to watch the construction of the new studio take place. "We're also going to start building our new Studio 408, so those people who've got a webcam, from tomorrow, you can see us start to disassemble Studio 408, and then we'll bring it all over here, and you can see us reassemble Studio 408," says Aussie. It'll be a lot like those TV renovation show, except Aussie's not expecting to have it done in half an hour, and he doesn't have a dog.
More....
Sunday, January 28, 2007
Fact or fiction?
| | Troubled Water: Saints, Sinners, Truth And Lies About The Global Water Crisis |
To get a glass of water, a third of humanity turns on the tap. The rest improvises. The number of people who die worldwide from lack of access to safe water is equivalent to an area the size of Canada.
Water. You drink it, wash in it, cook with it, bathe in it, swim in it, float on it, make your morning tea with it. The earth is 70% water; so is the human body. Water, for many of us, is so ubiquitous as to be easy to overlook or take for granted. But we do so at our own peril. The amount of water that exists on earth today is exactly the amount that existed at the beginning of time. But humanity is putting greater demands on this precious, limited resource than ever before.
Around the world, a billion people don't have access to clean water. Droughts, floods, and waterborne diseases kill tens, perhaps hundreds of millions of people (mostly children) every year. And huge multinational corporations see a profit opportunity unparalleled even by oil or gold. From Bolivia to Britain, water supplies are being privatised and sold for profit, cutting millions off from the single most crucial human need.
Meanwhile, consumers in industrialised countries such as Italy, Britain, Australia and the United States eagerly drink millions of litres of bottled water every day – some of which is less pure than the stuff flowing from their taps at home.
Why are the politics of water so skewed, and what's being done about it? This book explores the problems and the solutions, and provides resources for ordinary readers to get involved.
Saturday, January 27, 2007
Young men on Australia Day 2007
Woot! Look who also grew up (and grew their hair!) Fantastic to see you all again. Cheers!
Goodbye, son
My message to my youngest.....
Bear. Enjoy the amazing privilage of the next 3 exploring human history.
Take too many photos.
Linger too long savoying the light on antiqities.
Speak to foreingers, and bid them g'day and good health.
Be everyones best friend.
Have fun.
Remember we love you so much....
Think of great stories to share with us.
Safe travel.
Mum
Friday, January 26, 2007
Australia
Australian sons, let us rejoice.For we are young and free.We've golden soil and wealth for toil,Our home is girt by sea.Our land abounds in nature's giftsOf beauty rich and rare;In hist'ry's page, let ev'ry stage Advance Australia FairIn joyful strains then let us singAdvance Australia Fair.
When gallant Cook from Albion sailed.To trace wide oceans o'er.True British courage bore him on.Til he landed on our shoreThen here he raised Old England's flag.The standard of the brave."With all her faults we love her still.""Britannia rules the wave."In joyful strains then let us singAdvance Australia Fair.
Beneath our radiant Southern Cross.We'll toil with hearts and hands,To make our youthful CommonwealthRenowned of all the lands;For loyal sons beyond the seasWe've boundless plains to share,With courage let us all combineTo Advance Australia fair.In joyful strains then let us singAdvance Australia Fair.
Should foreign foe e'er sight our coast.Or dare a foot to land,We'll rouse to arms like sires of yoreTo guard our native strand.Britannia then shall surely know,Beyond wide oceans rollHer sons in fair Australia's landStill keep a British soul.In joyful strains then let us singAdvance Australia Fair.
When gallant Cook from Albion sailed.To trace wide oceans o'er.True British courage bore him on.Til he landed on our shoreThen here he raised Old England's flag.The standard of the brave."With all her faults we love her still.""Britannia rules the wave."In joyful strains then let us singAdvance Australia Fair.
Beneath our radiant Southern Cross.We'll toil with hearts and hands,To make our youthful CommonwealthRenowned of all the lands;For loyal sons beyond the seasWe've boundless plains to share,With courage let us all combineTo Advance Australia fair.In joyful strains then let us singAdvance Australia Fair.
Should foreign foe e'er sight our coast.Or dare a foot to land,We'll rouse to arms like sires of yoreTo guard our native strand.Britannia then shall surely know,Beyond wide oceans rollHer sons in fair Australia's landStill keep a British soul.In joyful strains then let us singAdvance Australia Fair.
Thursday, January 25, 2007
Wednesday, January 24, 2007
Australia Day -- Encyclopaedia Britannica
Australia Day -- Encyclopaedia Britannica: "honouring the establishment of the first permanent European settlement on the continent of Australia. On January 26, 1788, Arthur Phillip, who had sailed into what is now Sydney Cove with a shipload of convicts, hoisted the British flag at the site. In the early 1800s the date, called Foundation Day, was celebrated by politicians and businessmen of New South Wales…"
My Cousin Stuart's Gift
On January 20th and 21st, Seattle Art Museum opened its Olympic Sculpture Park on the Seattle waterfront.
I have a connection to its fountain.
My cousin Stuart Smailes Jr. (b.1934 - d.10/23/2003) had a passion for the arts, theater and Broadway musicals. He volunteered at the Paramount, 5th Avenue, Seattle Repertory Theaters, and many other arts organizations, as well as the Seattle Zoological Society.
Stuart was a kind and generous man with a quick wit and unique sense of humor. He gave generous financial support to many organizations and causes. He never married and had no children.
In his will, Stuart left about $1 million to the city of Seattle. He wanted to commission a new public fountain. And he wanted the artwork to include at least one realistic nude male figure. Seattle had no nude sculptures in its outdoor art collection.
The Seattle Art Museum announced that his bequest would fund a commission called "Father and Son" by acclaimed New York artist Louise Bourgeois. The 15-foot-high stainless-steel fountain was installed in the Olympic Sculpture Park on the Seattle waterfront.
In Bourgeois' proposal for the sculpture, the life-sized figures face each other but are obscured from each other by a cloak of falling water that, at hourly intervals, will shift to reveal first one figure, then the other, at the ringing of a bell. The artist described the figures as "held in the air on a column which will serve as a feed to create the two mounds of gushing water that will hide the naked figures. The boy's hand reaches up and out to embrace the father. The father in turn reaches out to embrace his son."
The sculpture has caused controversy, because some people believe it depicts pedophilia.
Blogger - growing pains, grrrr!
What happens when team blogs switch to the new version of Blogger?
A team blog will only switch to the new version of Blogger when the original owner moves his or her account over.
Team members who have not yet switched to the new version will still see the blog on their dashboards, but it will be grayed out and inaccessible. Once those members move their own accounts to the new version of Blogger, they will be able to access the blog as before. If they can't yet switch, or don't wish to, they can ask the owner of the blog for a new invitation to join the blog on the new version. They can then accept that invitation by logging in to or creating a Google Account to post to that blog. (Later on, when they do switch their Blogger account to the new version, they'll have an option to merge it with this account.)
If a team member of a blog switches their account to the new version of Blogger before the blog owner does, then the team blog is not converted. It will appear on the team member's converted dashboard, but clicking on it will lead back to the old version of Blogger. Thus, the blog will still be usable, but without the new features of Blogger (e.g. Labels, Layouts, etc.).
Special case for blogs that have been moved to different accounts: In the previous version of Blogger, the team member who originally created a blog could be removed from the team. This is not possible in the new version of Blogger, where each blog must have an owner who cannot be removed. Thus, a new owner is assigned to these blogs.
Where there is only one admin member on the blog, that person becomes the new owner of the blog after they switch to the new version of Blogger. If there are multiple admins, then the last person to switch becomes the new owner. The other members will still have admin rights, but the new owner will be the permanent member and owner of the blog. So if you have a team blog that fits this description (i.e. the original creator is no longer part of the blog) you can coordinate among your members to decide who will take ownership of it.
A team blog will only switch to the new version of Blogger when the original owner moves his or her account over.
Team members who have not yet switched to the new version will still see the blog on their dashboards, but it will be grayed out and inaccessible. Once those members move their own accounts to the new version of Blogger, they will be able to access the blog as before. If they can't yet switch, or don't wish to, they can ask the owner of the blog for a new invitation to join the blog on the new version. They can then accept that invitation by logging in to or creating a Google Account to post to that blog. (Later on, when they do switch their Blogger account to the new version, they'll have an option to merge it with this account.)
If a team member of a blog switches their account to the new version of Blogger before the blog owner does, then the team blog is not converted. It will appear on the team member's converted dashboard, but clicking on it will lead back to the old version of Blogger. Thus, the blog will still be usable, but without the new features of Blogger (e.g. Labels, Layouts, etc.).
Special case for blogs that have been moved to different accounts: In the previous version of Blogger, the team member who originally created a blog could be removed from the team. This is not possible in the new version of Blogger, where each blog must have an owner who cannot be removed. Thus, a new owner is assigned to these blogs.
Where there is only one admin member on the blog, that person becomes the new owner of the blog after they switch to the new version of Blogger. If there are multiple admins, then the last person to switch becomes the new owner. The other members will still have admin rights, but the new owner will be the permanent member and owner of the blog. So if you have a team blog that fits this description (i.e. the original creator is no longer part of the blog) you can coordinate among your members to decide who will take ownership of it.
Tuesday, January 23, 2007
Cat Heaven
One day a cat dies of natural causes and goes to heaven. There he meets the Lord Himself. The Lord says to the cat, "You lived a good life and if there is any way I can make your stay in Heaven more comfortable, please let me know."
The cat thinks for a moment and says, "Lord, all my life I have lived with a poor family and had to sleep on a hard wooden floor."
The Lord stops the cat and says, "Say no more" and a wonderful fluffy pillow appears.
A few days later 6 mice are killed in a tragic farming accident and go to heaven. Again there is the Lord there to great them with the same offer. The mice answer, "All of our lives we have been chased. We have had to run from cats, dogs, and even women with brooms. We are tired of running. Do you think we could have roller skates so we don't have to run anymore?"
The Lord says, "Say no more" and fits each mouse with a beautiful pair of roller skates.
About a week later the Lord stops by to see the cat and finds him snoozing on the pillow. The Lord gently wakes the cat and asks him, "How are things since you are here?"
The cat stretches and yawns and replies, "It is wonderful here. Better than I could have ever expected. And those Meals On Wheels you have been sending by are the best!!!"
The cat thinks for a moment and says, "Lord, all my life I have lived with a poor family and had to sleep on a hard wooden floor."
The Lord stops the cat and says, "Say no more" and a wonderful fluffy pillow appears.
A few days later 6 mice are killed in a tragic farming accident and go to heaven. Again there is the Lord there to great them with the same offer. The mice answer, "All of our lives we have been chased. We have had to run from cats, dogs, and even women with brooms. We are tired of running. Do you think we could have roller skates so we don't have to run anymore?"
The Lord says, "Say no more" and fits each mouse with a beautiful pair of roller skates.
About a week later the Lord stops by to see the cat and finds him snoozing on the pillow. The Lord gently wakes the cat and asks him, "How are things since you are here?"
The cat stretches and yawns and replies, "It is wonderful here. Better than I could have ever expected. And those Meals On Wheels you have been sending by are the best!!!"
Pattycam Statistics
Over the last 6 years of Pattycam Watching we have spent, minus weekends
1566 Days Pattycam Watching
315389259 Minutes Watching
189339756 Seconds Watching
Give or take a minute or two.
1566 Days Pattycam Watching
315389259 Minutes Watching
189339756 Seconds Watching
Give or take a minute or two.
Diver escapes from the throat of a shark
January 23, 2007 12:45pm
A DIVER has survived being partly swallowed head-first by a 3m white pointer shark off the NSW south coast.
The 25-year-old man was diving for abalone with a friend off Cape Howe, near Eden, when he was attacked and part-swallowed by the white pointer about 11am (AEDT) today.
The shark took the man head-first into its jaws and clamped down, tearing deep cuts in both sides of his torso, a Snowy Hydro rescue spokeswoman said.
But the diver struggled free, breaking his nose in the process.
His companion called emergency services and the man was taken to Wollongong Hospital suffering shock and blood loss.
He is in a serious but stable condition.
A DIVER has survived being partly swallowed head-first by a 3m white pointer shark off the NSW south coast.
The 25-year-old man was diving for abalone with a friend off Cape Howe, near Eden, when he was attacked and part-swallowed by the white pointer about 11am (AEDT) today.
The shark took the man head-first into its jaws and clamped down, tearing deep cuts in both sides of his torso, a Snowy Hydro rescue spokeswoman said.
But the diver struggled free, breaking his nose in the process.
His companion called emergency services and the man was taken to Wollongong Hospital suffering shock and blood loss.
He is in a serious but stable condition.
Monday, January 22, 2007
PEOPLE MEET BINGO
I was at an info session today on time management, study skills etc. Now we all get a bit anxious about meeting strangers, so today we played a game called People Meet Bingo. We got a a piece of paper made out with squares on it like a bingo sheet and in each square were tasks like, Find someone whi is wearing something red and Find someone who drives a certain colour car. The object of the game was for us to get out of our seats and in order to cross off our boxes and fill our game card we had to meet others in the group in order to ask the questions. The first to fill out all the squares was the winner. I must admit it was fun and i met several people and rode back home on the bus with someone i met who lives where i do. So a good day out was had by all.
Ten Peeves that Dogs Have
Ten Peeves that Dogs Have
About Humans
About Humans
1. Blaming your farts on me...
not funny... not funny at all !!!
2. Yelling at me for barking..
I'M A FRIGGIN' DOG, YOU IDIOT!
3. Taking me for a walk,
then not letting me check stuff out.
Exactly whose walk is this anyway?
4. Any trick that involves
balancing food on my nose...
stop it!
5. Any haircut that involves bows or ribbons. Now you know why we chew your stuff up when you're not home.
6. The sleight of hand, fake fetch throw.
You fooled a dog! Whoooo Hoooooooo
what a proud moment for the top of the
food chain.
7. Taking me to the vet for "the big snip,"
then acting surprised when I freak out
every time we go back!
8. Getting upset when I sniff the crotches of your guests. Sorry, but I haven't quite mastered that handshake thing yet.
9.Dog sweaters.
Hello ???,
Haven't you noticed the fur?
10. How you act disgusted
when I lick myself.
Look, we both know the truth,
you're just jealous.
Clarification on the Flag Issue
The Big Day Out would like to offer the following to clarify its position on “flag banning” at the Sydney show.
Contrary to the reports in the media, it was never our intention to disrespect the symbolism of the Australian or any other flag.
We are not banning the Australian flag but are simply discouraging its use for anti-social purposes at the Big Day Out.
In recent times, there has been an increased incidence of flags brandished aggressively and this has led to increased tension. Our only intention in discouraging this activity at the Big Day Out is to ensure that our patrons are not subjected to this aggressive behaviour.
With all this in mind and the aim to create a happy, peaceful MUSICAL event, organisers would like to request that fans please leave their flags at home.
The Big Day Out is not an Australia Day event, but a music festival showcasing music artists from around the world and aspires to unify people through music.
Unfortunately the media reports yesterday were not quoted accurately and we must thank the participating media for wasting everybody’s time including the Prime Minister John Howard, Premier Morris Iemma, NSW RSL President Don Rowe, Keysar Trad (a confidant of the Mufti Sheik Taj el-Dene Elhilaly) and Burt Lane of the Australian National Flag Association….
Contrary to the reports in the media, it was never our intention to disrespect the symbolism of the Australian or any other flag.
We are not banning the Australian flag but are simply discouraging its use for anti-social purposes at the Big Day Out.
In recent times, there has been an increased incidence of flags brandished aggressively and this has led to increased tension. Our only intention in discouraging this activity at the Big Day Out is to ensure that our patrons are not subjected to this aggressive behaviour.
With all this in mind and the aim to create a happy, peaceful MUSICAL event, organisers would like to request that fans please leave their flags at home.
The Big Day Out is not an Australia Day event, but a music festival showcasing music artists from around the world and aspires to unify people through music.
Unfortunately the media reports yesterday were not quoted accurately and we must thank the participating media for wasting everybody’s time including the Prime Minister John Howard, Premier Morris Iemma, NSW RSL President Don Rowe, Keysar Trad (a confidant of the Mufti Sheik Taj el-Dene Elhilaly) and Burt Lane of the Australian National Flag Association….
Ban the Aussie Flag
This is a national disgrace. In an effort to stem racial tension the Australian Flag has been banned from our next Big Weekend Concert
Saturday, January 20, 2007
Friday, January 19, 2007
Thursday, January 18, 2007
Fun with your camera ideas
Photo Assignments
With the onslaught of digital cameras you can now and shoot a couple hundred of pictures in a day without spending a dime. Digital photography is a great way to entertain yourself and improve your photography skills quickly.
Action shots
Be the paparazzi on a member of your family or a friend
Beautiful males or females (whatever you are into)
Candid shots (Just keep shooting till you get a good one)
Discover your own backyard
Dress up
Friends making funny faces
Funny signs
Get out your camera and take pictures of anything that makes you smile.
Great body parts
Happy faces
Have your photo taken with as many strangers as you can possibly befriend in one night
Pets in funny hats, glasses or whatever
Pictures of the people you don't have pictures of
Reflections
Silly poses
Sunrises and sunsets
Take a couch (Or any other inanimate object) and have strangers or your friends at all kinds of stores and landscapes
Tourist in your own town get as many pictures of you by the tourist attractions in your town
With the onslaught of digital cameras you can now and shoot a couple hundred of pictures in a day without spending a dime. Digital photography is a great way to entertain yourself and improve your photography skills quickly.
Action shots
Be the paparazzi on a member of your family or a friend
Beautiful males or females (whatever you are into)
Candid shots (Just keep shooting till you get a good one)
Discover your own backyard
Dress up
Friends making funny faces
Funny signs
Get out your camera and take pictures of anything that makes you smile.
Great body parts
Happy faces
Have your photo taken with as many strangers as you can possibly befriend in one night
Pets in funny hats, glasses or whatever
Pictures of the people you don't have pictures of
Reflections
Silly poses
Sunrises and sunsets
Take a couch (Or any other inanimate object) and have strangers or your friends at all kinds of stores and landscapes
Tourist in your own town get as many pictures of you by the tourist attractions in your town
Something to do over the weekend maybe
.Put condoms in other peoples' carts and follow them to the checkout and watch their expressions when they discover what was in their cart
.Go to a multiplex cinema and see how many movies you can go to on one ticket before you get kicked out
.Secretly rip out the last page of a book your friend is reading, but leave a note indicating where they can find it. NO DON'T DO THIS LOL
.Sneakily get the eggs from someone's refrigerator and hard-boil them all. Then put them back where you found them.
."Borrow" an ugly ornament from your neighbor's yard - see how long it takes them to notice
.Dress up really weird and walk around the block waving to people you have never seen
.Sit in a large cardboard box on the side of the road with a sign that says, "Why lie? I need a BEER!!"
.Climb into a window display and pose
.Hide in the clothes racks, and when people walk by, or browse at the racks, change your voice and say "buy me", "pick me" or something of that sort
.Hum the "Mission I mpossible" theme loudly in a retail store
.Go to a multiplex cinema and see how many movies you can go to on one ticket before you get kicked out
.Secretly rip out the last page of a book your friend is reading, but leave a note indicating where they can find it. NO DON'T DO THIS LOL
.Sneakily get the eggs from someone's refrigerator and hard-boil them all. Then put them back where you found them.
."Borrow" an ugly ornament from your neighbor's yard - see how long it takes them to notice
.Dress up really weird and walk around the block waving to people you have never seen
.Sit in a large cardboard box on the side of the road with a sign that says, "Why lie? I need a BEER!!"
.Climb into a window display and pose
.Hide in the clothes racks, and when people walk by, or browse at the racks, change your voice and say "buy me", "pick me" or something of that sort
.Hum the "Mission I mpossible" theme loudly in a retail store
Lost Cable
Anyone seen a cable? It's brown, about 1 metre in length and has a small thingy that plugs into the modem at one end and an even bigger plactic thingy on the other end that plugs into my hard drive. Should anyone have seen this single cable then please call Crime Stoppers
Have you grown up?
25 SIGNS YOU HAVE GROWN UP
1. Your houseplants are alive, and you can't smoke any of them.
2. Having sex in a twin bed is out of the question.
3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge.
4. 6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to bed.
5. You hear your favorite song in an elevator.
6. You watch the Weather Channel.
7. Your friends marry and divorce instead of "hook up" and "breakup."
8. You go from 130 days of vacation time to 14.
9. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as "dressed up."
10. You're the one calling the police because those %&@# kids next
door won't turn down the stereo.
11. Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you.
12. You don't know what time Taco Bell closes anymore.
13. Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up.
14. You feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonald's leftovers.
15. Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt.
16. You take naps.
17. Dinner and a movie is the whole date instead of thebeginning of one.
18. Eating a basket of chicken wings at 3 AM would severely upset,
rather than settle, your stomach.
19. You go to the drug store for Ibuprofen and Antacid, Notcondoms
and pregnancy tests.
20. A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer "pretty good shit."
21. You actually eat breakfast food at breakfast time.
22. "I just can't drink the way I used to" replaces "I'm never going
to drink that much again."
23. 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work.
24. You drink at home to save money before going to a bar.
25. When you find out your friend is pregnant you congratulate! them
in stead of asking "Oh shit what the hell happened?"
Bonus:
26: You read this entire list looking desperately for one sign that
doesn't apply to you and can't find one to save your sorry old ass.
Then you forward it to a bunch of old friends 'cause you know
they'll enjoy it & do.
1. Your houseplants are alive, and you can't smoke any of them.
2. Having sex in a twin bed is out of the question.
3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge.
4. 6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to bed.
5. You hear your favorite song in an elevator.
6. You watch the Weather Channel.
7. Your friends marry and divorce instead of "hook up" and "breakup."
8. You go from 130 days of vacation time to 14.
9. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as "dressed up."
10. You're the one calling the police because those %&@# kids next
door won't turn down the stereo.
11. Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you.
12. You don't know what time Taco Bell closes anymore.
13. Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up.
14. You feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonald's leftovers.
15. Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt.
16. You take naps.
17. Dinner and a movie is the whole date instead of thebeginning of one.
18. Eating a basket of chicken wings at 3 AM would severely upset,
rather than settle, your stomach.
19. You go to the drug store for Ibuprofen and Antacid, Notcondoms
and pregnancy tests.
20. A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer "pretty good shit."
21. You actually eat breakfast food at breakfast time.
22. "I just can't drink the way I used to" replaces "I'm never going
to drink that much again."
23. 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work.
24. You drink at home to save money before going to a bar.
25. When you find out your friend is pregnant you congratulate! them
in stead of asking "Oh shit what the hell happened?"
Bonus:
26: You read this entire list looking desperately for one sign that
doesn't apply to you and can't find one to save your sorry old ass.
Then you forward it to a bunch of old friends 'cause you know
they'll enjoy it & do.
Wednesday, January 17, 2007
The Tall Man
A big, stern woman with a long grey plait and reading glasses on the end of her nose, her dress hung from her bust like a tent. “Tribulation times are coming!” she cried. “And they’re going to be very hard, brothers and sisters!”
She’d been browsing the web, and now saw the end of the world was nigh. “The returning Lord will come at an unexpected time, but a time with specific observable signs. There are signs all around us: there are murders, there are rapes, there are all kinds of things going on.” Disease, pestilence, famine, floods and earthquakes: I assumed she was talking about Palm Island. But she continued, “We are fortunate in this community because nothing has happened to us yet.”
“Are you serious?” I thought. “Are you insane?”
Read more here.....
She’d been browsing the web, and now saw the end of the world was nigh. “The returning Lord will come at an unexpected time, but a time with specific observable signs. There are signs all around us: there are murders, there are rapes, there are all kinds of things going on.” Disease, pestilence, famine, floods and earthquakes: I assumed she was talking about Palm Island. But she continued, “We are fortunate in this community because nothing has happened to us yet.”
“Are you serious?” I thought. “Are you insane?”
Read more here.....
Monday, January 15, 2007
another few
Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends.
You order what you want, then when you see what the other person has, you wish you had ordered that.
At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, "Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?"
The other replied, "Yes, I am, I married the wrong man."
After a quarrel, a husband said to his wife, "You know, I was a fool when I married you."
She replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't notice."
A lady inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Husband wanted." Next day she received a hundred letters.
They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."
The bride, upon her engagement, went to her mother and said, "I've found a man just like father!" Her mother replied, "So what do you want from me, sympathy?"
A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"
And the father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying!"
joke
A drunk gets up from the bar and heads for the bathroom.
A few minutes later, a loud, blood-curdling scream is heard coming from the bathroom.
A few minutes after that, another loud scream reverberates through the bar.
The bartender goes into the bathroom to investigate what the drunk is screaming about.
"What's all the screaming about in there? You're scaring my customers! "
" I'm just sitting here on the toilet and every time I try to flush, something comes up and squeezes the heck out of my testicles."
With that, the bartender opens the door, looks in and says, "You idiot! You're sitting on the mop bucket!!!
A few minutes later, a loud, blood-curdling scream is heard coming from the bathroom.
A few minutes after that, another loud scream reverberates through the bar.
The bartender goes into the bathroom to investigate what the drunk is screaming about.
"What's all the screaming about in there? You're scaring my customers! "
" I'm just sitting here on the toilet and every time I try to flush, something comes up and squeezes the heck out of my testicles."
With that, the bartender opens the door, looks in and says, "You idiot! You're sitting on the mop bucket!!!
Sunday, January 14, 2007
Brightest Comet to appear
THE brightest comet in Australia's skies for more than 40 years will appear from tomorrow, astronomers have said.
Saturday, January 13, 2007
Joke
The mental ward nurse entered a room and found a patient sitting in a chair pretending to drive a car. The nurse asked, "What are you doing, Charlie?" Charlie replied, "Driving to Chicago!" She wished him a good trip and left. The next day, she entered Charlie's room just as he stopped driving his imaginary car and asked, "How are you doing today, Charlie?" Charlie answered, "I just got to Chicago!" "Great," she replied. The nurse left Charlie's room and went across the hall into Bob's room, and found Bob sitting on his bed, masturbating furiously. Shocked, she cried, "Bob, what are you doing?" Bob said, "While Charlie's in Chicago, I'm screwing his wife!"
A husband visited his wife at her new office. "I'm glad to see you keep a photo of me on your desk." "Yes," his wife replied, "whenever I have a difficult problem, I just look at your picture and the problem seems less important." The husband smiled. "See how powerful I am for you?" His wife replied, "Yes, I just think, 'What problem can possibly be worse than that one!'"
A husband visited his wife at her new office. "I'm glad to see you keep a photo of me on your desk." "Yes," his wife replied, "whenever I have a difficult problem, I just look at your picture and the problem seems less important." The husband smiled. "See how powerful I am for you?" His wife replied, "Yes, I just think, 'What problem can possibly be worse than that one!'"
Friday, January 12, 2007
how true
To get back my youth I would do anything in the world, except take exercise, get up early, or be respectable.
OSCAR WILDE
OSCAR WILDE
Three thing Paul needs to know about Uni
1. It's not all study
2.The women are no longer called chicks
3. Enjoy you time as a senior student
2.The women are no longer called chicks
3. Enjoy you time as a senior student
FOOTBALL star David Beckham will shine in a new galaxy from next season, literally, after signing for Los Angeles Galaxy for $1.3 million a week.
Come and listen to a story about a man named David
A poor Londener, barely kept his family fed,
Then one day he was shootin at some food,
And up through the ground came a bubblin' crude.
Oil that is, black gold, Texas tea.
Well the first thing you know ol' Dave's a millionaire,
Kinfolk said Dave move away from there
Said Californy is the place you ought to be
So they loaded up the truck and moved to Beverly.
Hills, that is.
Swimmin pools, movie stars.
Life just makes no sense
A poor Londener, barely kept his family fed,
Then one day he was shootin at some food,
And up through the ground came a bubblin' crude.
Oil that is, black gold, Texas tea.
Well the first thing you know ol' Dave's a millionaire,
Kinfolk said Dave move away from there
Said Californy is the place you ought to be
So they loaded up the truck and moved to Beverly.
Hills, that is.
Swimmin pools, movie stars.
Life just makes no sense
Flame Trree
Brachychiton acerifolius --Flame tree in my yard is not looking as well as it could , maybe its the drought.
Thursday, January 11, 2007
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