Ten Peeves that Dogs Have

Ten Peeves that Dogs Have
About Humans

1. Blaming your farts on me...
not funny... not funny at all !!!


2. Yelling at me for barking..
I'M A FRIGGIN' DOG, YOU IDIOT!


3. Taking me for a walk,
then not letting me check stuff out.
Exactly whose walk is this anyway?


4. Any trick that involves
balancing food on my nose...
stop it!


5. Any haircut that involves bows or ribbons. Now you know why we chew your stuff up when you're not home.



6. The sleight of hand, fake fetch throw.
You fooled a dog! Whoooo Hoooooooo
what a proud moment for the top of the
food chain.


7. Taking me to the vet for "the big snip,"
then acting surprised when I freak out
every time we go back!



8. Getting upset when I sniff the crotches of your guests. Sorry, but I haven't quite mastered that handshake thing yet.


9.Dog sweaters.
Hello ???,
Haven't you noticed the fur?


10. How you act disgusted
when I lick myself.
Look, we both know the truth,
you're just jealous.