Monday, July 31, 2006
Sunday, July 30, 2006
Saturday, July 29, 2006
THREE THINGS
What Three Things can I present to Lori's family next week as a welcome gift? Suggestions please!!!
"King" all-blacked in Lang Park prank
A statue of rugby league legend Wally Lewis outside Brisbane's Lang Park was painted black early this morning in an apparent stunt by a New Zealand fan ahead of tonight's Bledisloe Cup match at the venue.
Police say security officers at the venue saw a man painting the bronze statue at about 4:15am.
The man ran off when he saw the security officers approaching. Police are currently investigating.
The stunt mirrors one before a State of Origin match this year, when the statue was painted blue.
Dubbed 'The King', Lewis captained Queensland at State of Origin level between 1981 and 1991 and was Australian captain from 1984 to 1989.
Tonight's Bledisloe Cup Test between Australia and New Zealand is the second game in the three-match series and Australia must avoid defeat to keep the series alive.
Police say security officers at the venue saw a man painting the bronze statue at about 4:15am.
The man ran off when he saw the security officers approaching. Police are currently investigating.
The stunt mirrors one before a State of Origin match this year, when the statue was painted blue.
Dubbed 'The King', Lewis captained Queensland at State of Origin level between 1981 and 1991 and was Australian captain from 1984 to 1989.
Tonight's Bledisloe Cup Test between Australia and New Zealand is the second game in the three-match series and Australia must avoid defeat to keep the series alive.
Friday, July 28, 2006
Recycled Water & Sperm Counts
Drinking recycled sewage will it hurt you or not ? Read here about some interesting scientific facts about it. Guaranteed to change your thinking on the matter
Thanks, but no thanks
FEDERAL Attorney-General Philip Ruddock's push for tougher censorship of books advocating hatred or terrorism is to be treated with caution.So too is his urging of tighter controls over what can be shown on television.
When Mr Ruddock meets state and territory attorneys-general in Melbourne today these matters will be on his agenda.
More relaxed is NSW Attorney-General Bob Debus who says the laws are tough enough already, adding that "I'm a bit worried if we extend the definitions, we're going to end up banning crime novels, and somebody's even suggested there's some pretty violent bits in the Bible".
Certainly we don't want explicit how-to-do-it books on terrorism on the shelves, nor grossly offensive television programs,
But democracy is at risk when zealous governments too quickly reach for the blue pencil to put beyond our reach that which they believe is bad for us.
When Mr Ruddock meets state and territory attorneys-general in Melbourne today these matters will be on his agenda.
More relaxed is NSW Attorney-General Bob Debus who says the laws are tough enough already, adding that "I'm a bit worried if we extend the definitions, we're going to end up banning crime novels, and somebody's even suggested there's some pretty violent bits in the Bible".
Certainly we don't want explicit how-to-do-it books on terrorism on the shelves, nor grossly offensive television programs,
But democracy is at risk when zealous governments too quickly reach for the blue pencil to put beyond our reach that which they believe is bad for us.
Snopes.com said that this is false.
Origins: As the reaction to pieces from a Canadian broadcaster and a Romanian journalist demonstrate, Americans take great delight in encomiums to America and Americans authored by citizens of other nations.
This piece isn't such a case. The "What is an American?" article quoted above was not penned by an Australian (or a dentist), but by Peter Ferrara, an associate professor of law at the George Mason University School of Law in Northern Virginia. Mr. Ferrara's commentary was originally published in the National Review on 25 September 2001.
(Text enclosed in brackets was not part of Mr. Ferrara's piece as published, but was added by someone else.)
Written by an Australian Dentist....and too good to delete
To Kill an AmericanYou probably missed it in the rush of news last week, but there was actually a report that someone in Pakistan had published in a newspaper an offer of a reward to anyone who killed an American, any American.
So an Australian dentist wrote an editorial the following day to let everyone know what an American is . S o they would know when they found one. (Good one, mate!!!!)"
An American is English, or French, or Italian, Irish, German, Spanish, Polish, Russian or Greek. An American may also be Canadian, Mexican, African, Indian, Chinese, Japanese, Korean, Australian, Iranian, Asian, or Arab, or Pakistani or Afghan.
An American may also be a Comanche, Cherokee, Osage, Blackfoot, Navaho, Apache, Seminole or one of the many other tribes known as native Americans.
An American is Christian, or he could be Jewish, or Buddhist, or Muslim.In fact, there are more Muslims in America than in Afghanistan. The only difference is that in America they are free to worship as each of them chooses.
An American is also free to believe in no religion. For that he will answer only to God, not to the government, or to armed thugs claiming to speak for the government and for God.
An American lives in the most prosperous land in the history of the world.The root of that prosperity can be found in the Declaration of Independence, which recognizes the God given right of each person to the pursuit of happiness.
An American is generous. Americans have helped out just about every other nation in the world in their time of need, never asking a thing in return.
When Afghanistan was over-run by the Soviet army 20 years ago, Americans came with arms and supplies to enable the people to win back their country!
As of the morning of September 11, Americans had given more than any other nation to the poor in Afghanistan. Americans welcome the best of everything...the best products, the best books, the best music, the best food, the best services. But they also welcome the least.
The national symbol of America, The Statue of Liberty, welcomes your tired and your poor, the wretched refuse of your teeming shores, the hom eless, tempest tossed. These in fact are the people who built America.
Some of them were working in the Twin Towers the morning of September 11, 2001 earning a better life for their families. It's been told that the World Trade Center victims were from at least 30 different coun tries, cultures, and first languages, including those that aided and abetted the terrorists.
So you can try to kill an American if you must. Hitler did. So did General Tojo, and Stalin, and Mao Tse-Tung, and other blood-thirsty tyrants in the world. But, in doing so you would just be killing yourself. Because Americans are not a particular people from a particular place. They are the embodiment of the human spirit of freedom. Everyone who holds to that spirit, everywhere, is an American.
Please keep this going!Pass this around the World ?Then pass it around again.It says it all, for all of us
And did you know, Australia is the only country that has stood by the United States through all wars.
Origins: As the reaction to pieces from a Canadian broadcaster and a Romanian journalist demonstrate, Americans take great delight in encomiums to America and Americans authored by citizens of other nations.
This piece isn't such a case. The "What is an American?" article quoted above was not penned by an Australian (or a dentist), but by Peter Ferrara, an associate professor of law at the George Mason University School of Law in Northern Virginia. Mr. Ferrara's commentary was originally published in the National Review on 25 September 2001.
(Text enclosed in brackets was not part of Mr. Ferrara's piece as published, but was added by someone else.)
Written by an Australian Dentist....and too good to delete
To Kill an AmericanYou probably missed it in the rush of news last week, but there was actually a report that someone in Pakistan had published in a newspaper an offer of a reward to anyone who killed an American, any American.
So an Australian dentist wrote an editorial the following day to let everyone know what an American is . S o they would know when they found one. (Good one, mate!!!!)"
An American is English, or French, or Italian, Irish, German, Spanish, Polish, Russian or Greek. An American may also be Canadian, Mexican, African, Indian, Chinese, Japanese, Korean, Australian, Iranian, Asian, or Arab, or Pakistani or Afghan.
An American may also be a Comanche, Cherokee, Osage, Blackfoot, Navaho, Apache, Seminole or one of the many other tribes known as native Americans.
An American is Christian, or he could be Jewish, or Buddhist, or Muslim.In fact, there are more Muslims in America than in Afghanistan. The only difference is that in America they are free to worship as each of them chooses.
An American is also free to believe in no religion. For that he will answer only to God, not to the government, or to armed thugs claiming to speak for the government and for God.
An American lives in the most prosperous land in the history of the world.The root of that prosperity can be found in the Declaration of Independence, which recognizes the God given right of each person to the pursuit of happiness.
An American is generous. Americans have helped out just about every other nation in the world in their time of need, never asking a thing in return.
When Afghanistan was over-run by the Soviet army 20 years ago, Americans came with arms and supplies to enable the people to win back their country!
As of the morning of September 11, Americans had given more than any other nation to the poor in Afghanistan. Americans welcome the best of everything...the best products, the best books, the best music, the best food, the best services. But they also welcome the least.
The national symbol of America, The Statue of Liberty, welcomes your tired and your poor, the wretched refuse of your teeming shores, the hom eless, tempest tossed. These in fact are the people who built America.
Some of them were working in the Twin Towers the morning of September 11, 2001 earning a better life for their families. It's been told that the World Trade Center victims were from at least 30 different coun tries, cultures, and first languages, including those that aided and abetted the terrorists.
So you can try to kill an American if you must. Hitler did. So did General Tojo, and Stalin, and Mao Tse-Tung, and other blood-thirsty tyrants in the world. But, in doing so you would just be killing yourself. Because Americans are not a particular people from a particular place. They are the embodiment of the human spirit of freedom. Everyone who holds to that spirit, everywhere, is an American.
Please keep this going!Pass this around the World ?Then pass it around again.It says it all, for all of us
And did you know, Australia is the only country that has stood by the United States through all wars.
Thursday, July 27, 2006
Notable facts on Dayton, Ohio, USA
Notable facts
The city has a rich heritage of inventions and innovations, with more patents per capita than any other city in the nation. Some of these inventions include the cash register, the stepladder, microfiche, waterproof cellophane, pop top beverage cans, the movie projector, space food, parking meters, the airplane supercharger, the automobile self-starter, gas masks, and the parachute.
Dayton has received the All-America City Award three times.
The first All-American Soap Box Derby was held in Dayton on August 19, 1934.
The city has a rich heritage of inventions and innovations, with more patents per capita than any other city in the nation. Some of these inventions include the cash register, the stepladder, microfiche, waterproof cellophane, pop top beverage cans, the movie projector, space food, parking meters, the airplane supercharger, the automobile self-starter, gas masks, and the parachute.
Dayton has received the All-America City Award three times.
The first All-American Soap Box Derby was held in Dayton on August 19, 1934.
Wednesday, July 26, 2006
PattycamWatchers
PattycamWatchers
Australian Government
Department of Immigration and Multicultural and Indigenous Affairs
Application for Grant of Australian Citizenship
You must answer 75% (28 or more out of 37) of these questions correctly in order to qualify for Australian Citizenship
1. How many slabs can you fit in the back of a Falcon Ute while also allowing room for your cattle dog?
2. When packing an Esky do you put the ice, or the beer, in first?
3. Is the traditional Aussie Christmas dinner:
a) At least two roasted meats with roast vegetables, followed by a pudding you could use as a cannonball. Also ham. In 40C heat.
b) A seafood buffet followed by a barbie, with rather a lot of booze. And ham. In 40C heat.
c) Both of the above, one at lunchtime and one at dinnertime. Weather continues fine.
4. How many beers in a slab?
5. You call that a knife, this is a knife.
True or False?
6. Does "yeah-nah" mean
a) "Yes and no"
b) "Maybe"
c) "Yes I understand but No I don't agree"?
7. The phrases "strewth" and "flamin' dingo" can be attributed to which TV character?
a) Toadie from Neighbours
b) Alf from Home & Away
c) Agro from Agro's Cartoon Connection
d) Sgt. Tom Croydon from Blue Heelers?
8. When cooking a barbecue do you turn the sausages
a) Once or twice
b) As often as necessary to cook
c) After each stubby
d) Until charcoal?
9. Name three of the Daddo brothers.
10. Who was the original lead singer of AC/DC?
11. Which option describes your ideal summer afternoon:
a) Drinking beer at a mate's place
b) Drinking beer at the beach
c) Drinking beer watching the cricket/footy
d) Drinking beer at a mate's place while watching the cricket before going to the beach?
12. Would you eat pineapple on pizza? Would you eat egg on a pizza?
13. How many cans of beer did David Boon consume on a plane trip from Australia to England?
14. How many stubbies is it from Brissy to the Gold Coast in a Torana travelling at 120km/h?
15. Who are Scott and Charlene?
16. How do you apply your tomato sauce to a pie?
a) Squirt and spread with finger
b) Sauce injection straight into the middle?
17. If the police raided your home would you:
a) Allow them to rummage through your personal items
b) Phone up the nearest talkback radio shock jock and complain
c) Put a written complaint in to John Howard and hope that he answers it personally?
18. Which Australian Prime Minister held the world record for drinking a yardie full of beer the fastest?
19. Have you ever had/do you have a mullet?
20. Thongs are:
a) Skimpy underwear
b) Casual footwear
c) They're called jandals, bro?
21. On which Ashes tour did Warney's hair look the best?
a) 1993
b) 1997
c) 2001
d) 2005
22. What someone is more likely to die of:
a) Red Back Spider
b) Great White Shark
c) Victorian Police Officer
d) King Brown Snake
e) Your missus after a big night
f) Dropbear?
23. How many times must a steak be turned on a conventional four-burner barbie?
24. Can you sing along to Cold Chisel's Khe Sanh?
25. Explain both the "follow-on" and "LBW" rules in cricket and discuss the pros and cons for the third umpire decisions in the latter....
26. Name at least 5 items that must be taken to a BBQ.
27. Who is current Australian test cricket captain:
a) Ricky Ponting
b) Don Bradman
c) John Howard
d) Makybe Diva?
28. Is it best to take a sick day on:
a) When the cricket's on
b) When the cricket's on
c) When the cricket’s on?
29. What animal is on the Bundaberg Rum bottle?
30. What is the difference between a pot and a middy of beer?
31. What are Budgie smugglers?
32. What brand and size of Esky will you be purchasing?
33. Did you cry when Molly died on a Country Practice?
34. A "Hoppoate" is:
a) A breed of kangaroo
b) A kind of Australian "wedgie"
c) A disgraced Rugby League player?
35. What does having a 'chunder' mean?
36. When you were young did you prefer the Hills Hoist over any swing set?
37. What does the terminology 'True Blue' mean?
Your Score ………….
Australian Government
Department of Immigration and Multicultural and Indigenous Affairs
Application for Grant of Australian Citizenship
You must answer 75% (28 or more out of 37) of these questions correctly in order to qualify for Australian Citizenship
1. How many slabs can you fit in the back of a Falcon Ute while also allowing room for your cattle dog?
2. When packing an Esky do you put the ice, or the beer, in first?
3. Is the traditional Aussie Christmas dinner:
a) At least two roasted meats with roast vegetables, followed by a pudding you could use as a cannonball. Also ham. In 40C heat.
b) A seafood buffet followed by a barbie, with rather a lot of booze. And ham. In 40C heat.
c) Both of the above, one at lunchtime and one at dinnertime. Weather continues fine.
4. How many beers in a slab?
5. You call that a knife, this is a knife.
True or False?
6. Does "yeah-nah" mean
a) "Yes and no"
b) "Maybe"
c) "Yes I understand but No I don't agree"?
7. The phrases "strewth" and "flamin' dingo" can be attributed to which TV character?
a) Toadie from Neighbours
b) Alf from Home & Away
c) Agro from Agro's Cartoon Connection
d) Sgt. Tom Croydon from Blue Heelers?
8. When cooking a barbecue do you turn the sausages
a) Once or twice
b) As often as necessary to cook
c) After each stubby
d) Until charcoal?
9. Name three of the Daddo brothers.
10. Who was the original lead singer of AC/DC?
11. Which option describes your ideal summer afternoon:
a) Drinking beer at a mate's place
b) Drinking beer at the beach
c) Drinking beer watching the cricket/footy
d) Drinking beer at a mate's place while watching the cricket before going to the beach?
12. Would you eat pineapple on pizza? Would you eat egg on a pizza?
13. How many cans of beer did David Boon consume on a plane trip from Australia to England?
14. How many stubbies is it from Brissy to the Gold Coast in a Torana travelling at 120km/h?
15. Who are Scott and Charlene?
16. How do you apply your tomato sauce to a pie?
a) Squirt and spread with finger
b) Sauce injection straight into the middle?
17. If the police raided your home would you:
a) Allow them to rummage through your personal items
b) Phone up the nearest talkback radio shock jock and complain
c) Put a written complaint in to John Howard and hope that he answers it personally?
18. Which Australian Prime Minister held the world record for drinking a yardie full of beer the fastest?
19. Have you ever had/do you have a mullet?
20. Thongs are:
a) Skimpy underwear
b) Casual footwear
c) They're called jandals, bro?
21. On which Ashes tour did Warney's hair look the best?
a) 1993
b) 1997
c) 2001
d) 2005
22. What someone is more likely to die of:
a) Red Back Spider
b) Great White Shark
c) Victorian Police Officer
d) King Brown Snake
e) Your missus after a big night
f) Dropbear?
23. How many times must a steak be turned on a conventional four-burner barbie?
24. Can you sing along to Cold Chisel's Khe Sanh?
25. Explain both the "follow-on" and "LBW" rules in cricket and discuss the pros and cons for the third umpire decisions in the latter....
26. Name at least 5 items that must be taken to a BBQ.
27. Who is current Australian test cricket captain:
a) Ricky Ponting
b) Don Bradman
c) John Howard
d) Makybe Diva?
28. Is it best to take a sick day on:
a) When the cricket's on
b) When the cricket's on
c) When the cricket’s on?
29. What animal is on the Bundaberg Rum bottle?
30. What is the difference between a pot and a middy of beer?
31. What are Budgie smugglers?
32. What brand and size of Esky will you be purchasing?
33. Did you cry when Molly died on a Country Practice?
34. A "Hoppoate" is:
a) A breed of kangaroo
b) A kind of Australian "wedgie"
c) A disgraced Rugby League player?
35. What does having a 'chunder' mean?
36. When you were young did you prefer the Hills Hoist over any swing set?
37. What does the terminology 'True Blue' mean?
Your Score ………….
Tuesday, July 25, 2006
PattycamWatchers
PattycamWatchers
No one told him to go home
An Indian man spent more than eight years in prison after being declared innocent, because no-one told him he was free to go. Crikey ! As if it's not bad enough to spend some time in the old slammer, and I believe that Indian jails don't raye too high on the 'prison paradise' list, he does all that time because no one told him to go home.
Pratap Nayak, 28, was cleared by the High Court of the eastern Indian state of Orissa in 1994. But, neither officials nor his family " bothered " to tell him the good news, so he remained in prison, the Star News channel reports. Was he so unliked ?
Including time spent in jail during his trial, Nayak spent a total of 14 years in prison.
He said: "No one bothered about me. Not even my own family. They did not have the money or the interest. Naturally, I languished in jail."
He was originally sentenced to life imprisonment after getting caught up in a violent clash between two families in his village.
In 1994, the court declared Nayak and his five co-accused not guilty. The other five defendants had already been released on bail. But, by the time the judgement was announced, Nayak's lawyer had died and no-one bothered to inform him or the jail.
After being reunited with his son, Rahas Nayak, said: "How do I take care of him? We don't get enough to eat ourselves. Had he completed his education, he would have got a good job by now. They spoiled his life."
No one told him to go home
An Indian man spent more than eight years in prison after being declared innocent, because no-one told him he was free to go. Crikey ! As if it's not bad enough to spend some time in the old slammer, and I believe that Indian jails don't raye too high on the 'prison paradise' list, he does all that time because no one told him to go home.
Pratap Nayak, 28, was cleared by the High Court of the eastern Indian state of Orissa in 1994. But, neither officials nor his family " bothered " to tell him the good news, so he remained in prison, the Star News channel reports. Was he so unliked ?
Including time spent in jail during his trial, Nayak spent a total of 14 years in prison.
He said: "No one bothered about me. Not even my own family. They did not have the money or the interest. Naturally, I languished in jail."
He was originally sentenced to life imprisonment after getting caught up in a violent clash between two families in his village.
In 1994, the court declared Nayak and his five co-accused not guilty. The other five defendants had already been released on bail. But, by the time the judgement was announced, Nayak's lawyer had died and no-one bothered to inform him or the jail.
After being reunited with his son, Rahas Nayak, said: "How do I take care of him? We don't get enough to eat ourselves. Had he completed his education, he would have got a good job by now. They spoiled his life."
Ballerina
Ballerina
A large woman, wearing a sleeveless sun dress, walked into a bar in Dublin. She raised her right arm, revealing a huge, hairy armpit as she pointed to all the people sitting at the bar and asked, "What man here will buy a lady a drink?"
The bar went silent as the patrons tried to ignore her. But down at the end of the bar, an owl-eyed drunk slammed his hand down on the counter and bellowed, "Give the ballerina a drink!" The bartender poured the drink and the woman chugged it down.
She turned to the patrons and again pointed around at all of them, revealing the same hairy armpit, and as ked, "What man here will buy a lady a drink?"
Once again, the same little drunk slapped his money down on the bar and said, "Give the ballerina another drink!"
The bartender approached the little drunk and said, "Tell me, Paddy, it's your business if you want to buy the lady a drink, but why do you keep calling her the ballerina?"
The drunk replied, "Any woman who can lift her leg that high has got to be a ballerina!"
A large woman, wearing a sleeveless sun dress, walked into a bar in Dublin. She raised her right arm, revealing a huge, hairy armpit as she pointed to all the people sitting at the bar and asked, "What man here will buy a lady a drink?"
The bar went silent as the patrons tried to ignore her. But down at the end of the bar, an owl-eyed drunk slammed his hand down on the counter and bellowed, "Give the ballerina a drink!" The bartender poured the drink and the woman chugged it down.
She turned to the patrons and again pointed around at all of them, revealing the same hairy armpit, and as ked, "What man here will buy a lady a drink?"
Once again, the same little drunk slapped his money down on the bar and said, "Give the ballerina another drink!"
The bartender approached the little drunk and said, "Tell me, Paddy, it's your business if you want to buy the lady a drink, but why do you keep calling her the ballerina?"
The drunk replied, "Any woman who can lift her leg that high has got to be a ballerina!"
Monday, July 24, 2006
My diemma, grrrr
So this is where I am at today. Bear needs to get his Pilots License, so he can then sit for his theory, and then solo. He needs his Passport. His Passport is about to run out in 5 days time. He needs my permission, and hubby's to apply for another one.
On the form it says MOTHERS FULL NAME AS ON THE BIRTH CERTIICATE, but they actually spelt my name wrongly, twice, on his Birth Certificate.
I guess I left it up to hubby to sort out, and it never was corrected.
So now I have to explain why the name on the Birth Certificate is different from my name now. Easy, just supply the original Marriage Certificate. Problem. Can't find it, and I have no idea why. Easy, get a full copy, just supply the old Passport for me, plus a Drivers Licence.
Problem.
My name is different on both too, when we filled out my Passport application all those years ago, we were shocked to find that on my Birth Certificate, my name was simply Patricia.
But I have always been called Patricia Anne I said, and then unknown to me, my dear hubby changed my formal name to now read Patricia Anne, bless him.
But in between getting my Passport (under simply Patricia) and renewing my Drivers Licence, I am now Patricia Anne.
It goes on, and on, and on. Bleh.
On the form it says MOTHERS FULL NAME AS ON THE BIRTH CERTIICATE, but they actually spelt my name wrongly, twice, on his Birth Certificate.
I guess I left it up to hubby to sort out, and it never was corrected.
So now I have to explain why the name on the Birth Certificate is different from my name now. Easy, just supply the original Marriage Certificate. Problem. Can't find it, and I have no idea why. Easy, get a full copy, just supply the old Passport for me, plus a Drivers Licence.
Problem.
My name is different on both too, when we filled out my Passport application all those years ago, we were shocked to find that on my Birth Certificate, my name was simply Patricia.
But I have always been called Patricia Anne I said, and then unknown to me, my dear hubby changed my formal name to now read Patricia Anne, bless him.
But in between getting my Passport (under simply Patricia) and renewing my Drivers Licence, I am now Patricia Anne.
It goes on, and on, and on. Bleh.
Viagra
A guy falls asleep on the beach for several hours and gets horrible
sunburn.
He goes to the hospital and is promptly admitted after being diagnosed
with second degree burns.
With his skin already starting to blister and seeing the severe pain
he is in, the doctor prescribes an intravenous with saline,
electrolytes, a sedative, and a Viagra pill every four hours.
The nurse, who is rather astounded, asks, "What good will Viagra do
him, Doctor?
"It'll keep the sheets off his legs.
sunburn.
He goes to the hospital and is promptly admitted after being diagnosed
with second degree burns.
With his skin already starting to blister and seeing the severe pain
he is in, the doctor prescribes an intravenous with saline,
electrolytes, a sedative, and a Viagra pill every four hours.
The nurse, who is rather astounded, asks, "What good will Viagra do
him, Doctor?
"It'll keep the sheets off his legs.
Joke
For all those men who say, Why buy a cow when you can get milk for free. Here's an update for you: Now days, 80% of women are against marriage, WHY?
Because women realize it's not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage.
Because women realize it's not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage.
Sunday, July 23, 2006
Saturday, July 22, 2006
Two Blondes
Two blonde girls were working for the city public works department. One would dig a hole and the other would follow behind her and fill the hole in. They worked up one side of the street,then down the other, then moved on to the next street, working furiously all day without rest, one girl digging a hole, the other girl filling it in again.
An onlooker was amazed at their hard work, but couldn't understand what they were doing. So he asked the hole digger, "I'm impressed by the effort you two are putting into your work, but I don't get it -- why do you dig a hole, only to have your partner follow behind and fill it up again?"
The hole digger wiped her brow and sighed, "Well, I suppose it probably looks odd because we're normally a three-person team. But today the girl who plants the trees called in sick."
An onlooker was amazed at their hard work, but couldn't understand what they were doing. So he asked the hole digger, "I'm impressed by the effort you two are putting into your work, but I don't get it -- why do you dig a hole, only to have your partner follow behind and fill it up again?"
The hole digger wiped her brow and sighed, "Well, I suppose it probably looks odd because we're normally a three-person team. But today the girl who plants the trees called in sick."
Friday, July 21, 2006
ha ha
The woman's husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she had stayed by his bedside every single day. One day, when he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer.
As she sat by him, he whispered, eyes full of tears, "You know what? You have been with me all through the bad times When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business failed, you were there. When I got shot, you were by my side. When we lost the house, you stayed right here. When my health started failing, you were still by my side... You know what?"
"What dear?" She gently asked, smiling as her heart began to fill with warmth.
"I think you're bad luck."
As she sat by him, he whispered, eyes full of tears, "You know what? You have been with me all through the bad times When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business failed, you were there. When I got shot, you were by my side. When we lost the house, you stayed right here. When my health started failing, you were still by my side... You know what?"
"What dear?" She gently asked, smiling as her heart began to fill with warmth.
"I think you're bad luck."
funny , thoughful maybe
A woman awoke during the night to find that her husband was not in bed. She put on her robe and went downstairs. He was sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee in front of him. He appeared to be deep in thought, just staring at the wall. She saw him wipe a tear from his eye and take a sip of his coffee.
"What's the matter dear? Why are you down here at this time of night?" she asked.
"Do you remember 20 years ago when we were dating and you were only 16?" he asked.
"Yes I do." she replied.
"Do you remember when your father caught us in the back seat of my car?"
"Yes I remember."
"Do you remember your father when he shoved that shotgun in my face and said.'Either you marry my daughter or spend twenty years in jail'?"
"Yes I do", she replied.
He wiped another tear from his cheek and said, " You know I would have gotten out today."
"What's the matter dear? Why are you down here at this time of night?" she asked.
"Do you remember 20 years ago when we were dating and you were only 16?" he asked.
"Yes I do." she replied.
"Do you remember when your father caught us in the back seat of my car?"
"Yes I remember."
"Do you remember your father when he shoved that shotgun in my face and said.'Either you marry my daughter or spend twenty years in jail'?"
"Yes I do", she replied.
He wiped another tear from his cheek and said, " You know I would have gotten out today."
Our American exchange student
We have had an exchange student at our place for the last couple of days. What a well behaved and enjoyable person Kevin was. He comes from a place called "Paw Paw" in Mitchigan USA. That was our first exchange student and I think we will have to have lots more. Here are my two girls exchanging gifts with Kevin...we even gave him an Aussie Rugby Jersey to keep him warm.
Web Cams Down Under
Want to keep track of Lori and her family in Sydney? You can control this cam which overlooks Sydney Harbour Bridge, and the famous Opera House. Have fun.
Here is another cam at Brisbane's Southbank, with lots of cafes, shops, gardens, outdoor movies in summer and so on. It looks east to the city skyline, watch for the City Cat ferries passing by.
Here is another cam at Brisbane's Southbank, with lots of cafes, shops, gardens, outdoor movies in summer and so on. It looks east to the city skyline, watch for the City Cat ferries passing by.
Thursday, July 20, 2006
Check your undies!
The doctor said, "Joe, the good news is I can cure your headaches.
The bad news is that it will require castration. You have a very rare
Condition which causes your testicles to press on your spine, and the pressure creates one hell of a headache. The only way to relieve the pressure is to remove the testicles."
Joe was shocked and depressed. He wondered if he had anything to live for. He had no choice but to go under the knife. When he left the hospital he was without a headache for the first time in 20 years,but he felt like he was missing an important part of himself.
As he walked down the street, he realized that he felt like a different person. He could make a new beginning and live a new life.
He saw a men's clothing store and thought, "That's what I need -A new suit."
He entered the shop and told the salesman, "I'd like a new suit." The elderly tailor eyed him briefly and said, "Let's see... size 44 long."
Joe laughed, "That's right, how did you know?" "Been in the Business 60 years!" Joe tried on the suit. It fit perfectly.
As Joe admired himself in the mirror, the salesman asked, "How about a new shirt?" Joe thought for a moment and then said, "Sure."
The salesman eyed Joe and said, "Let's see, 34 sleeve and 16-1/2 neck."Joe was surprised, "That's right, how did you know?" "Been in the business 60 years!" Joe tried on the shirt, and it fit perfectly.
As Joe adjusted the collar in the mirror, the salesman asked,"How about new shoes?" Joe was on a roll and said, "Sure." The salesman eyed Joe's feet and said, "Let's see...9-1/2 E." Joe was astonished,"That's right, how did you know?" "Been in the business 60 years!"
Joe tried on the shoes and they fit perfectly.
Joe walked comfortably around the shop and the salesman asked, "How about some new underwear?" Joe thought for a second and said, "Sure." The salesman stepped back, eyed Joe's waist and said, "Let's see...size 36." Joe laughed "Ah ha! I got you! I've worn size 34 since I was 18 years old."
The salesman shook his head, "You can't wear a size 34. A 34 underwear would press your testicles up against the base of your spine and give you one hell of a headache."
ALWAYS get a second opinion...
The bad news is that it will require castration. You have a very rare
Condition which causes your testicles to press on your spine, and the pressure creates one hell of a headache. The only way to relieve the pressure is to remove the testicles."
Joe was shocked and depressed. He wondered if he had anything to live for. He had no choice but to go under the knife. When he left the hospital he was without a headache for the first time in 20 years,but he felt like he was missing an important part of himself.
As he walked down the street, he realized that he felt like a different person. He could make a new beginning and live a new life.
He saw a men's clothing store and thought, "That's what I need -A new suit."
He entered the shop and told the salesman, "I'd like a new suit." The elderly tailor eyed him briefly and said, "Let's see... size 44 long."
Joe laughed, "That's right, how did you know?" "Been in the Business 60 years!" Joe tried on the suit. It fit perfectly.
As Joe admired himself in the mirror, the salesman asked, "How about a new shirt?" Joe thought for a moment and then said, "Sure."
The salesman eyed Joe and said, "Let's see, 34 sleeve and 16-1/2 neck."Joe was surprised, "That's right, how did you know?" "Been in the business 60 years!" Joe tried on the shirt, and it fit perfectly.
As Joe adjusted the collar in the mirror, the salesman asked,"How about new shoes?" Joe was on a roll and said, "Sure." The salesman eyed Joe's feet and said, "Let's see...9-1/2 E." Joe was astonished,"That's right, how did you know?" "Been in the business 60 years!"
Joe tried on the shoes and they fit perfectly.
Joe walked comfortably around the shop and the salesman asked, "How about some new underwear?" Joe thought for a second and said, "Sure." The salesman stepped back, eyed Joe's waist and said, "Let's see...size 36." Joe laughed "Ah ha! I got you! I've worn size 34 since I was 18 years old."
The salesman shook his head, "You can't wear a size 34. A 34 underwear would press your testicles up against the base of your spine and give you one hell of a headache."
ALWAYS get a second opinion...
little Quicky
A Burning Cake desire
Do not try this at home...New candles for Pauls cake...Instructions read (which I read after the event) Caution: READ INSTRUCTIONS ON BACK PANEL CAREFULLY BEFORE USING. CANDLES LIGHT QUICKLY(now they tell me) AND FLASH UP WHEN FIRST LIT. NOT FOR USE BY CHILDREN. DO NOT PLACE HANDS, ARMS OR FACE NEAR UNLIT CANDLES WHILE LIGHTING....So, after all that...Do you think they were trying to tell me something...*sheesh?
Landing an F-111 with no wheels
t's never happened before, and it'll probably never happen again, and that's something Flying Officer Peter Komar is very grateful about.
Flying Officer Komar was with Flight Lieutenant Luke Warner at the controls of a F-111 C-model yesterday, when the jet's left-wing wheel fell off slightly after take-off, forcing the team to make an emergency landing at Amberly.
Flying Officer Komar thought the take-off had been incident-free, before receiving a call from the control tower. "It was pretty close to just after take-off when we brought the gear up," he says, "and very soon after that, the guys in the control tower called us up and said that one of our main wheels was still on the runway."
Flying Officer Komar admits to being a bit shocked by the call. "[I felt] a fair bit of disbelief to begin with, and then it was, ‘oh dear, we’ve got a bit of a problem on our hands, so we better start thinking about troubleshooting'."
The pilot and his navigator then spent three hours circling over South East Queensland, burning off fuel, and making some important decision.
"Even just to dump the field probably wouldn’t have been the best think in that situation because the one thing about the F-111 is that it carries a fair bit of fuel and that gives you time in the air to sort out your problem," Flying Officer Komar says. "So the decision was made to climb and to hold and to go over every single bit of information we could think of."There were basically two options, the first was to land with the gear down, and the second was to land with the gear up, and we also had a bunch of guys on the ground using the simulator and coming up with their recommendations and plans as well, for us to consider, and we came to the decision that probably the best course of action was to land with the gear up."
During those tense three hours in the air, Flying Officer Komar was thinking of his fiancee. "[I thought] I’m going to lond and I’m going to see her, and I’m going to say, 'oh this happened today, but everything was OK' and she’s going to come back with, 'well, that’s it, you’re not allowed to fly anymore!'" he laughed.
As Flying Officer Komar approached the landing, his training started to kick in. "There is always a bit of doubt – you’re going to fly an approach really close to the ground, and things can go wrong, and that definitely crosses your mind, but I guess, there’s so much training involved, as you’re flying, and as you’re flying the approach, that’s all you’re focused on," he comments.
After seeing the landing numerous times on television news stories, Flying Officer Komar notes the landing looks a bit easier than it was. "It looked like a pretty benign landing on the telly – it didn’t feel like it in the jet!"
And now he can't wait to get back in the pilot's seat. "I’m actually pretty keen to go flying again, it was just one of those things – never happened before, and probably will never happen again."
Flying Officer Komar was with Flight Lieutenant Luke Warner at the controls of a F-111 C-model yesterday, when the jet's left-wing wheel fell off slightly after take-off, forcing the team to make an emergency landing at Amberly.
Flying Officer Komar thought the take-off had been incident-free, before receiving a call from the control tower. "It was pretty close to just after take-off when we brought the gear up," he says, "and very soon after that, the guys in the control tower called us up and said that one of our main wheels was still on the runway."
Flying Officer Komar admits to being a bit shocked by the call. "[I felt] a fair bit of disbelief to begin with, and then it was, ‘oh dear, we’ve got a bit of a problem on our hands, so we better start thinking about troubleshooting'."
The pilot and his navigator then spent three hours circling over South East Queensland, burning off fuel, and making some important decision.
"Even just to dump the field probably wouldn’t have been the best think in that situation because the one thing about the F-111 is that it carries a fair bit of fuel and that gives you time in the air to sort out your problem," Flying Officer Komar says. "So the decision was made to climb and to hold and to go over every single bit of information we could think of."There were basically two options, the first was to land with the gear down, and the second was to land with the gear up, and we also had a bunch of guys on the ground using the simulator and coming up with their recommendations and plans as well, for us to consider, and we came to the decision that probably the best course of action was to land with the gear up."
During those tense three hours in the air, Flying Officer Komar was thinking of his fiancee. "[I thought] I’m going to lond and I’m going to see her, and I’m going to say, 'oh this happened today, but everything was OK' and she’s going to come back with, 'well, that’s it, you’re not allowed to fly anymore!'" he laughed.
As Flying Officer Komar approached the landing, his training started to kick in. "There is always a bit of doubt – you’re going to fly an approach really close to the ground, and things can go wrong, and that definitely crosses your mind, but I guess, there’s so much training involved, as you’re flying, and as you’re flying the approach, that’s all you’re focused on," he comments.
After seeing the landing numerous times on television news stories, Flying Officer Komar notes the landing looks a bit easier than it was. "It looked like a pretty benign landing on the telly – it didn’t feel like it in the jet!"
And now he can't wait to get back in the pilot's seat. "I’m actually pretty keen to go flying again, it was just one of those things – never happened before, and probably will never happen again."
Happy Birthday Paul from your mates at Pattycam.net
Happy Birthday to our mate Paul - hope you have a great day today.
Enjoy your cake that Johnno ate.
Enjoy your cake that Johnno ate.
Create your own video at One True Media
Wednesday, July 19, 2006
Two alligators
Two alligators were sitting at the side of the swamp. The quite smaller one turned to the quite bigger one and said, "I jest can't understand how's you kin be so big. We're the same age, we was the same size as kids. I just don't get it."
"Well," said the big 'gator, "What you been eatin', boy?"
"Politicians - same as you," replied the small 'gator.
"Hmmm. Well, where do y'all catch 'em?"
"Down 'tother side of the old swamp near the parkin' lot by the capitol."
"Same here. Hmmm. How do you catch 'em?"
"Well, I crawls up under one of them Lexuses and wait fer one to unlock the car door. Then I jumps out, grab 'em on the leg, shake the shit out of 'em, and eat 'em!"
"Ah!" says the big alligator, "I think I see your problem. You ain't gettin' any real nourishment.; Ya see, by the time you get done shakin' the shit out of a politician, there ain't nothin' left but an asshole and a briefcase."
"Well," said the big 'gator, "What you been eatin', boy?"
"Politicians - same as you," replied the small 'gator.
"Hmmm. Well, where do y'all catch 'em?"
"Down 'tother side of the old swamp near the parkin' lot by the capitol."
"Same here. Hmmm. How do you catch 'em?"
"Well, I crawls up under one of them Lexuses and wait fer one to unlock the car door. Then I jumps out, grab 'em on the leg, shake the shit out of 'em, and eat 'em!"
"Ah!" says the big alligator, "I think I see your problem. You ain't gettin' any real nourishment.; Ya see, by the time you get done shakin' the shit out of a politician, there ain't nothin' left but an asshole and a briefcase."
Desktop shot - Johnno
Johnno's desk. Something about a cluttered desk means a cluttered mind? :) (Mind you, mind you, mine is much the same.) How about photographing YOUR desktop where your computer sits? Go on, share it with us.
Patty
Tuesday, July 18, 2006
Frodo 5.10pm Tues 18th July
Nobody home but just zoom in and look at the lovely colour reflections of the stones
Happy 6th Pattycam year online
And finally, one last indulgent tribute. I know it may seem over-the-top, but sometimes so is having a cam on in the early morning, late at night, and a most times in between. My poor, long-suffering family (and friends, ha!). Anyway, just a collection of old pics, for the newer viewers to Pattycam. Welcome, and enjoy.
Create your own video at One True Media
Doctor Doctor
A doctor and his wife were having a big argument at breakfast."You aren't so good in bed either!" he shouted and stormed off to work.By midmorning, he decided he'd better make amends and phoned home. After many rings, his wife picked up the phone."What took you so long to answer?""I was in bed.""What were you doing in bed this late?""Getting a second opinion."
Bad Cook
You Might Be a Bad Cook If...
Your microwave display reads "TILT!"
You know dinner is ready when the smoke alarm goes off.
Your dog goes to the neighbors' to eat.
Leftover crumbs make a great replacement for kitty litter.
Your kids know what exactly peas porridge in a crock pot nine days old tastes like. /Your family automatically heads for the dinner table every time they hear a fire truck siren.
Your family seems really interested in going to that restaurant that always has trouble passing the health inspection.
If the EPA requires that all your garbage cans be marked with large bright red "biohazard" symbols.
When you BBQ two of your kids hold water guns and the third has the phone with 911 on speed-dial.
Pest control companies keep pestering you, wanting to buy and patent your recipe for candy Christmas cookies.
The smoke alarm beeps if you even walk near the stove.
Your family buys Rolaids, Pepto Bismal, and Tums in bulk.
Your homemade bread loaf can be used as a door stop.
The last time you tried to make toast the kitchen caught on fire.
Your apple pie bubbled over and ate the enamel off the bottom of the oven.
You make tuna noodle broccoli surprise for your roommate and the surprise is that it glows in the dark!
Your tuna noodle broccoli surprise melts plastic and silverware.
You used three boxes of scouring pads, a bottle of Drano and a crowbar, but that macaroni and cheese still won't let go of the pan!
You look in a cookbook to find out how to boil water.
You call your mother to ask how long to boil cabbage to make cole slaw.
If anyone has ever broken a tooth while eating your homemade yogurt.
The family pets are no where to be found during dinner.
The dotty old man asked his dotty old wife to make him a hot fudge sundae. She went to the kitchen and returned with a plate of scrambled eggs. He got really upset and yelled, "Where's my bacon?!"
Your microwave display reads "TILT!"
You know dinner is ready when the smoke alarm goes off.
Your dog goes to the neighbors' to eat.
Leftover crumbs make a great replacement for kitty litter.
Your kids know what exactly peas porridge in a crock pot nine days old tastes like. /Your family automatically heads for the dinner table every time they hear a fire truck siren.
Your family seems really interested in going to that restaurant that always has trouble passing the health inspection.
If the EPA requires that all your garbage cans be marked with large bright red "biohazard" symbols.
When you BBQ two of your kids hold water guns and the third has the phone with 911 on speed-dial.
Pest control companies keep pestering you, wanting to buy and patent your recipe for candy Christmas cookies.
The smoke alarm beeps if you even walk near the stove.
Your family buys Rolaids, Pepto Bismal, and Tums in bulk.
Your homemade bread loaf can be used as a door stop.
The last time you tried to make toast the kitchen caught on fire.
Your apple pie bubbled over and ate the enamel off the bottom of the oven.
You make tuna noodle broccoli surprise for your roommate and the surprise is that it glows in the dark!
Your tuna noodle broccoli surprise melts plastic and silverware.
You used three boxes of scouring pads, a bottle of Drano and a crowbar, but that macaroni and cheese still won't let go of the pan!
You look in a cookbook to find out how to boil water.
You call your mother to ask how long to boil cabbage to make cole slaw.
If anyone has ever broken a tooth while eating your homemade yogurt.
The family pets are no where to be found during dinner.
The dotty old man asked his dotty old wife to make him a hot fudge sundae. She went to the kitchen and returned with a plate of scrambled eggs. He got really upset and yelled, "Where's my bacon?!"
F1 -11 landing
A DAMAGED F-111 strike jet has made a precision belly landing at Amberley RAAF base after four-hour drama which began when it lost one of its wheels.
The plane's crew emerged from the aircraft seconds after it slid to a halt on Amberley's runway at about 2pm and ran to safety as firetrucks raced to dump foam on the jet.
The plane was slowed by an arrestor hook which caught an aircraft carrier-style wire strung across the runway.
But the plane's aluminium skin created a spectacular shower of sparks as it slowed to a halt.
The strike jet, based at Amberley, lost one of its nose wheels on takeoff at about 10am and circled at high altitude before attempting to land.
It is understood the damaged undercarriage was inspected in mid-air by another F-111 crew trying to assess the damage.
The crew chose to make a belly landing because of concerns that with one of the two nose wheels missing, the other nose wheel could twist sideways on landing and snap off the landing gear strut.
More here
The plane's crew emerged from the aircraft seconds after it slid to a halt on Amberley's runway at about 2pm and ran to safety as firetrucks raced to dump foam on the jet.
The plane was slowed by an arrestor hook which caught an aircraft carrier-style wire strung across the runway.
But the plane's aluminium skin created a spectacular shower of sparks as it slowed to a halt.
The strike jet, based at Amberley, lost one of its nose wheels on takeoff at about 10am and circled at high altitude before attempting to land.
It is understood the damaged undercarriage was inspected in mid-air by another F-111 crew trying to assess the damage.
The crew chose to make a belly landing because of concerns that with one of the two nose wheels missing, the other nose wheel could twist sideways on landing and snap off the landing gear strut.
More here
Some of my favourite photos...music by Tommy Emmanuel...enjoy
Create your own video at One True Media
Monday, July 17, 2006
THREE THINGS
What Three Things should Lori's AmerIcan family do when they get to Australia, Queensland, and Brisbane?
They can be touristy, educational, or funny. (Or Three Things for each region)
Start thinking and Blogging!
They can be touristy, educational, or funny. (Or Three Things for each region)
Start thinking and Blogging!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
