One Kilometre Underground - clunk!

One of the scariest things I have done, is to travel one kilometre underground to a coal mine, west of Brisbane.

Meeting the men who would ultimately be in charge of saving my life if anything went wrong, I was kitted up with grey overalls, heavy boots and a 20kg emergency pack, (well it seemed that heavy anyway) slung over my hip. Tragically, I also had to wear a hard hat, my poor head is just too small for these things, lol. The hardhat also had my light, which I would need in the total darkness.

Walking was difficult as my hard boots were a mans size, and my little size 6 feet had to lift and clump, lift and clump. The Emergency Pack held my supply of oxygen and other things you and I don't wish to know about, suffice to say it was bloody heavy, and very awkward on my hip.

We went down the mine on a low-riding thingy, (see picture) which I have no idea what the name of it is now days...and the immediate thing that struck me was that all the walls are painted white, to help reflect what little light there is.

Electricity, telephone and water are also powered down the mine, allowing limited lighting and use of water for washing etc. Throughout the mine, there are ante-rooms, some with a table and chair for smoko-time, lol. These "rooms" are for safety and access to rest whilst heavy machinery operated close-by.

The men joke with me, and one smarty says "Let's show Patty just HOW dark it is in here, lights OFF!" and with that, I am plunged into total, mind-numbing darkness. I feel like a bat, using all of my senses to strain to listen to where the men are. "Fellas?" I call out, nervous, but also enjoying the joke.

It is incredibly hot and humid underground, the temp was prolly 38c and water seemed to run everywhere on the ground. 'Underground creeks" came the answer, hmmm.

Huge diggers came and went, shifting tonnes of coal and structure around like it was a sandbox. As I was not allowed to use my normal Uniden mobile phone in case of a spark, I had to use the underground landline phone.  

Throughout the whole interview, you can hear "Clunk, hello Peter, can you hear me?

"Clunk", I am speaking with Joe Blogs, good morning Joe, Clunk!" My hands were shaking so much, I kept hitting not only my own hardhat, but also poor Joe Blogs hardhat, each time I placed the phone near him for his interview responses.

So funny!

Fresh air never seemed so good at the surface, and then we relaxed and took our photos. Whew!

I came, I saw, I climbed!

The Story Bridge Climb is now open.

When I was a Roving Reporter for Radio 612 ABC, one story involved climbing the Story Bridge, to see how it was painted. After a few phone calls to City Hall, permission was finally granted on the basis that a) I was not to ask people to "look up and wave to me" for fear of a car accident in early morning traffic rush-hour, and b) I was all care, no responsibility - in other words, look out for myself!

As usual, I was in the Studio around 5.30am, to say good morning to Peter Dick, and to grab my phone and spare batteries. The last thing you need is a flat battery, after this effort, and believe me, it was going to be an effort. My phone pack weighed around 5 kgs.

In one of the phone calls to the Supervisor in charge, he suggests I use a mini crane to "get up to the first row - "don't worry, the previous Mayor also used it when she climbed too" which immediately puts me right off the suggestion.  
I shall climb it myself, I announce proudly. Foolishly.

I park at the end of the Bridge, a tricky tight corner where my 4wd barely manages to sit, and I meet the two blokes who are to escort me up the Bridge. It's now 6am, perhaps we can make the first 'cross' at 6.20am, after the news and a song?
We walk along the pavement, to where we are to climb. "Up you go Patty" the men suggest, and I look blankly at them.  

Where? Where is the staircase I had imagined? Where was the enclosed ladder I thought we would be using? As it was, I had to begin to climb hand over hand up this giant Meccano set, with the bridge supports at 45 degree angles. Making very sure my feet don't slip, I mutter to myself "I am a mother of two small children" and will myself not to die today. I shove the phone pack to my left hip, and begin to climb.

"And you will die!" the men say cheerily, "If you fall, you will hit your head on the supports, and if that doesn't kill you, a car will run over you, and if that doesn't kill you, you will drown in the river!"

Hmmm....I climb very purposely, carefully, up, up, we must be nearly there surely? My hands are aching and sore from gripping the cold steel, and I am shaking - whether it's from fear or the cold, I'm not sure, but I am shaking!

When I also mention this to the blokes, they laugh and say "Oh yes, and the whole Bridge shakes too, in fact, if it stops shaking, run like hell!"

We do the first cross halfway up, I sound breathless and scared but excited, and I am. My arms are wrapped around the steel girders, and I have to also interview one of the men and hold the microphone under his mouth.

So one hand around the Bridge, one hand with the microphone shaking with fear as we go to air. Cars immediately start beeping and honking, it's amazing how many people are listening. (In those days, Breakfast used to rate 22% which has never been beaten, or equalled. Now they rate around 9 -11%)

The noise from the cars, trucks and buses fills my head. When we reach halfway, the men tell me to go through a trapdoor hole. It's very tricky, as I have to manoeuvre myself to climb forward, then reach backwards and then stand up. My legs are jelly, and I am out of breath, but the worst is now over. The rest is an easy doddle up using a proper staircase, to the highest point.

The view is spectacular, in fact I can see my suburb and imagine my sleeping kids and hubby, still fast asleep. It's now about 6.45am and we have time to kill before our next 'live cross' in half an hour, so we chat, and take photos, and watch the traffic, the faces of the drivers just recognizable as they wind their way into the city.

Going to air for the second 'cross' a listener rings in to tell me she can see my through her binoculars in her home at Newfarm. Really? I wonder for an instant about my lipstick, but soon smile and wave to her, somewhere in the distance. Coming down was a whole new ballgame, as we did everything in reverse, including the tricky trapdoor opening.  

The traffic was flowing north to south, the river was flowing east to west, and passenger ferries travelled in both directions. My head was spinning. Whoa!
I take my time and don't rush anything, this is when mistakes happen. Left foot, placed. Right foot, placed. Hands, hands, left foot, placed. Right foot, placed, and so on, all the way down.

Made it! The relief is palatable. I drive home on a natural high, for breakfast and a cuppa, before making my way back to the Studio to recharge the phone and see how the Show went. By the time I get home, hubby and kids have left for school, so I sit there and think about the day, think about the Bridge, and make myself another cuppa.

Paul (Roving Reporter) Boddingtons

Your Mission; should you choose to accept, is to scratch through this bag of goodies – designed for today’s modern Breakfast Show Reporter!


In it you will find:

• Award Ribbon for amazing effort and energy!
• Water filled eye mask for your much-needed beauty-sleep catch-up
• Two bottles of champagne bubbles to celebrate mentioned sleep-in (blow with a friend)
• Lip balm for those early morning chapped lips
• Skipping rope for that active, energy boost. A bloke has to keep in top physical condition!
• Spaced out Address Book for those much-needed contacts! (Yes, I’m already in it) 
• Three kinds of pens de-PEN-ding on your mood. A musical one for more wacky songs, a space rocket one for those days when you have to blast off somewhere quickly, and a sparkly one to lift your spirits when you are feeling blue.
• A happy squeeze ball. In dire circumstances you can squeeze this and pretend it’s ABC management. Do not tell anyone.
• A relaxation candle for stress management. Think of the beach and put on some…
• Sea-mist oil behind your ear…. Hear the waves, splosh, splash, and splish…
• You can also wake up in the morning to a refreshing spray of water; simply fill blue bottle and mist, mist, mist…
• One hand-mirror to check teeth and hair before your reports! (Oh… that’s right, it’s radio *shrug*)
• Four dinosaurs representing ABC Management – if that doesn’t work, you can also view the only known captured ABC Executive
• Bug in Slime! (Note well: Do not swallow – lies, bullshit, general crap)
• And Finally!!! A whoopee Cushion to place on the chair of the in-coming Presenter, whomever he/she/it may be.

Good luck mate!

Patty B