another few

Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends.
You order what you want, then when you see what the other person has, you wish you had ordered that.

At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, "Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?"
The other replied, "Yes, I am, I married the wrong man."

After a quarrel, a husband said to his wife, "You know, I was a fool when I married you."
She replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't notice."

A lady inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Husband wanted." Next day she received a hundred letters.
They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."

The bride, upon her engagement, went to her mother and said, "I've found a man just like father!" Her mother replied, "So what do you want from me, sympathy?"

A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"
And the father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying!"

joke

A drunk gets up from the bar and heads for the bathroom.
A few minutes later, a loud, blood-curdling scream is heard coming from the bathroom.
A few minutes after that, another loud scream reverberates through the bar.
The bartender goes into the bathroom to investigate what the drunk is screaming about.
"What's all the screaming about in there? You're scaring my customers! "
" I'm just sitting here on the toilet and every time I try to flush, something comes up and squeezes the heck out of my testicles."
With that, the bartender opens the door, looks in and says, "You idiot! You're sitting on the mop bucket!!!

It's my house key side-on.

What is it? #2

"What is it" weekend worrier # 2.

Brightest Comet to appear

THE brightest comet in Australia's skies for more than 40 years will appear from tomorrow, astronomers have said.

What is it? #1

"What is it" weekend worrier. Have fun Groovers!

Joke

The mental ward nurse entered a room and found a patient sitting in a chair pretending to drive a car. The nurse asked, "What are you doing, Charlie?" Charlie replied, "Driving to Chicago!" She wished him a good trip and left. The next day, she entered Charlie's room just as he stopped driving his imaginary car and asked, "How are you doing today, Charlie?" Charlie answered, "I just got to Chicago!" "Great," she replied. The nurse left Charlie's room and went across the hall into Bob's room, and found Bob sitting on his bed, masturbating furiously. Shocked, she cried, "Bob, what are you doing?" Bob said, "While Charlie's in Chicago, I'm screwing his wife!"

A husband visited his wife at her new office. "I'm glad to see you keep a photo of me on your desk." "Yes," his wife replied, "whenever I have a difficult problem, I just look at your picture and the problem seems less important." The husband smiled. "See how powerful I am for you?" His wife replied, "Yes, I just think, 'What problem can possibly be worse than that one!'"

It's part of my mobile phone, well done Paul!

how true

To get back my youth I would do anything in the world, except take exercise, get up early, or be respectable.

OSCAR WILDE

Three thing Paul needs to know about Uni

1. It's not all study
2.The women are no longer called chicks
3. Enjoy you time as a senior student

FOOTBALL star David Beckham will shine in a new galaxy from next season, literally, after signing for Los Angeles Galaxy for $1.3 million a week.

Come and listen to a story about a man named David
A poor Londener, barely kept his family fed,
Then one day he was shootin at some food,
And up through the ground came a bubblin' crude.

Oil that is, black gold, Texas tea.

Well the first thing you know ol' Dave's a millionaire,
Kinfolk said Dave move away from there
Said Californy is the place you ought to be
So they loaded up the truck and moved to Beverly.

Hills, that is.
Swimmin pools, movie stars.

Life just makes no sense

Flame Trree

Brachychiton acerifolius --Flame tree in my yard is not looking as well as it could , maybe its the drought.