Two lone canoeists.
Yachts in the Solent.
Titchfield Nature Reserve. Just across from the beach.
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
While I was away.
While I was down at the coast last week, my sister and I took a trip down to the beach. This is Fawley Power Station, taken from Hillhead.
Two lone canoeists.
Two lone canoeists.
Always worth re-visiting, lol
MENTAL HOSPITAL PHONE MENU
Hello and thank you for calling The State Mental Hospital .....
Please select from the following options menu:
If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.
If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6.
If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want, stay on the line so we can trace your call.
If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be forwarded to the Mother Ship.
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.
If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, nothing will make you happy anyway.
If you are bipolar, please leave a message after the beep or before the beep or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.
If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
If you have low self-esteem, please hang up our operators are too busy to talk with you.
If you are menopausal, put the gun down, hang up, turn on the fan, lie down and cry. You won't be crazy forever.
If you are blonde, don't press any buttons, you'll just mess it up.
Hello and thank you for calling The State Mental Hospital .....
Please select from the following options menu:
If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.
If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6.
If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want, stay on the line so we can trace your call.
If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be forwarded to the Mother Ship.
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.
If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, nothing will make you happy anyway.
If you are bipolar, please leave a message after the beep or before the beep or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.
If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
If you have low self-esteem, please hang up our operators are too busy to talk with you.
If you are menopausal, put the gun down, hang up, turn on the fan, lie down and cry. You won't be crazy forever.
If you are blonde, don't press any buttons, you'll just mess it up.
Saturday, April 19, 2008
Johnnos Friday whoisit
Ok, who is this well known singer a younger version off?
btw...last weeks answer was PINK
btw...last weeks answer was PINK
Thursday, April 17, 2008
CHICKENS:
The only animals you eat before they are born and after they are dead.
COMMITTEE:
A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours.
DUST:
Mud with the juice squeezed out.
EGOTIST:
Someone who is usually me-deep in
conversation.
HANDKERCHIEF:
Cold Storage.
INFLATION:
Cutting money in half without damaging the paper.
MOSQUITO:
An insect that makes you like flies better.
RAISIN:
Grape with a sunburn.
SECRET:
Something you tell to one person at a time.
SKELETON:
A bunch of bones with the person scraped off.
TOOTHACHE:
The pain that drives you to extraction.
TOMORROW:
One of the greatest labor saving devices of today.
YAWN:
An honest opinion openly expressed.
and MY Personal Favorite!!
WRINKLES:
Something other people have,similar to my character lines.
The only animals you eat before they are born and after they are dead.
COMMITTEE:
A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours.
DUST:
Mud with the juice squeezed out.
EGOTIST:
Someone who is usually me-deep in
conversation.
HANDKERCHIEF:
Cold Storage.
INFLATION:
Cutting money in half without damaging the paper.
MOSQUITO:
An insect that makes you like flies better.
RAISIN:
Grape with a sunburn.
SECRET:
Something you tell to one person at a time.
SKELETON:
A bunch of bones with the person scraped off.
TOOTHACHE:
The pain that drives you to extraction.
TOMORROW:
One of the greatest labor saving devices of today.
YAWN:
An honest opinion openly expressed.
and MY Personal Favorite!!
WRINKLES:
Something other people have,similar to my character lines.
Tommy Cooper one line jokes:
1. Two blondes walk into a building....you'd think at least one
of them would have seen it.
2. Phone answering machine message - '...If you want to buy
marijuana, press the hash key...
3. A guy walks into the psychiatrist wearing only Clingfilm for
shorts. The shrink says, 'Well, I can clearly see you're nuts. '
4. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I
couldn't find any
5. I went to the butchers the other day and I bet him 50 quid
that he couldn't reach the meat off the top shelf. He said, 'No,
the steaks are too high. '
6. My friend drowned in a bowl of muesli. A strong currant
pulled him in.
7. A man came round in hospital after a serious accident. He
shouted, 'Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!' The doctor
replied, 'I know you can't, I've cut your arms off. '
8. I went to a seafood disco last week...and pulled a muscle.
9. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. They lit a fire
in the craft, it sank, proving once and for all that you can't
have your kayak and heat it.
10. Our ice cream man was found lying on the floor of his van
covered with hundreds and thousands. Police say that he topped
himself.
11. Man goes to the doctor, with a strawberry growing out of his
head. Doc says 'I'll give you some cream to put on it.'
12. 'Doc I can't stop singing The Green, Green Grass of Home'
'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome.' Is it common?' 'It's
not unusual'
13. A man takes his Rotteweiller to the vet. 'My dog is
cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him?' 'Well,' said
the vet, 'let's have a look at him' So he picks the dog up and
examines his eyes, then he checks his teeth. Finally, he says,
'I'm going to have to put him down.' 'What? Because he's
cross-eyed?' 'No, because he's really heavy'.
14. Guy goes into the doctor's. 'Doc, I've got a cricket ball
stuck up my backside.' 'How's that?' 'Don't you start.'
15. Two elephants walk off a cliff...boom, boom!
16. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.
17. So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me 'Can
you give me a lift?' I said 'Sure, you look great, the world's
your oyster, go for it.'
18. Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. There
are 5 people in my family, so it must be one of them. It's
either my mum or my Dad, or my older Brother Colin, or my
younger Brother Ho-Cha-Chu? But I think its Colin.
19. Two fat blokes in a pub, one says to the other 'Your round.'
The other one says 'So are you, you fat ba*tard!'
20. Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery
acid, and the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and
let the other one off.
21. 'You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving
today. They left a little note on the windscreen. It said,
'Parking Fine.' So that was nice.'
22. A man walked into the doctors, he said, 'I've hurt my arm in
several places' The doctor said, 'Well don't go there anymore'
23. Ireland 's worst air disaster occurred early this morning
when a small two-seater Cessna plane crashed into a cemetery.
Irish search and rescue workers have recovered 1826 bodies so
far and expect that number to climb As digging continues into
the night!
of them would have seen it.
2. Phone answering machine message - '...If you want to buy
marijuana, press the hash key...
3. A guy walks into the psychiatrist wearing only Clingfilm for
shorts. The shrink says, 'Well, I can clearly see you're nuts. '
4. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I
couldn't find any
5. I went to the butchers the other day and I bet him 50 quid
that he couldn't reach the meat off the top shelf. He said, 'No,
the steaks are too high. '
6. My friend drowned in a bowl of muesli. A strong currant
pulled him in.
7. A man came round in hospital after a serious accident. He
shouted, 'Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!' The doctor
replied, 'I know you can't, I've cut your arms off. '
8. I went to a seafood disco last week...and pulled a muscle.
9. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. They lit a fire
in the craft, it sank, proving once and for all that you can't
have your kayak and heat it.
10. Our ice cream man was found lying on the floor of his van
covered with hundreds and thousands. Police say that he topped
himself.
11. Man goes to the doctor, with a strawberry growing out of his
head. Doc says 'I'll give you some cream to put on it.'
12. 'Doc I can't stop singing The Green, Green Grass of Home'
'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome.' Is it common?' 'It's
not unusual'
13. A man takes his Rotteweiller to the vet. 'My dog is
cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him?' 'Well,' said
the vet, 'let's have a look at him' So he picks the dog up and
examines his eyes, then he checks his teeth. Finally, he says,
'I'm going to have to put him down.' 'What? Because he's
cross-eyed?' 'No, because he's really heavy'.
14. Guy goes into the doctor's. 'Doc, I've got a cricket ball
stuck up my backside.' 'How's that?' 'Don't you start.'
15. Two elephants walk off a cliff...boom, boom!
16. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.
17. So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me 'Can
you give me a lift?' I said 'Sure, you look great, the world's
your oyster, go for it.'
18. Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. There
are 5 people in my family, so it must be one of them. It's
either my mum or my Dad, or my older Brother Colin, or my
younger Brother Ho-Cha-Chu? But I think its Colin.
19. Two fat blokes in a pub, one says to the other 'Your round.'
The other one says 'So are you, you fat ba*tard!'
20. Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery
acid, and the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and
let the other one off.
21. 'You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving
today. They left a little note on the windscreen. It said,
'Parking Fine.' So that was nice.'
22. A man walked into the doctors, he said, 'I've hurt my arm in
several places' The doctor said, 'Well don't go there anymore'
23. Ireland 's worst air disaster occurred early this morning
when a small two-seater Cessna plane crashed into a cemetery.
Irish search and rescue workers have recovered 1826 bodies so
far and expect that number to climb As digging continues into
the night!
My sunday in paradise
On sunday I had to go out on a 60 foot catamaran for a 50th birthday and take some photos...500 to be exact...here is a bit of the day...click on picture for a closer look...hard life up here.
Monday, April 14, 2008
Ethans Pic
ADELAIDE boy Ethan Simon may only be three years old but he already is snapping award-winning photographs. Click the link and read the full story
Sunday, April 13, 2008
Friday, April 11, 2008
It ain't easy being a Priest
A Church of England vicar has been sacked after a tribunal heard that he spat at parishioners, attacked churchwardens in sermons and was "arrogant, aggressive and rude", the church said.
The Reverend Tom Ambrose, of St Mary and St Michael Church, Trumpington, Cambridgeshire, was blamed for a "serious pastoral breakdown" that made it impossible for him to keep his job.
The Bishop of Ely, Dr Anthony Russell, ordered him to leave his post after studying a report from a rarely convened tribunal that met in London last September.
"The report discloses a lamentable situation," Russell said in a statement. "I am astonished and dismayed that there are recorded two occasions on which it is said that Dr Ambrose spat at parishioners."
The tribunal criticised Ambrose for his "rude, bullying, high-handed, disorganised and at times petty behaviour".
The trouble started soon after he joined the parish in 1999 and began to make changes:
* Ambrose upset some parishioners by using a computer slideshow during a Christmas Day service.
* He was also criticised for using so much incense that people felt unwell.
* He alienated some with plans to modernise the church by installing lavatories and removing a section of pews to create space for meetings.
* Others were angry over a decision to fell trees in the churchyard without consulting the Parochial Church Council and by changes to the date of the Harvest Festival supper.
* Ambrose also used sermons to criticise members of his flock. The bishop described that as "completely inappropriate".
The case received widespread media coverage last year, with newspaper headlines such as "Fear and loathing at the vicarage" and "Is this the rudest vicar in Britain?"
Ambrose denied there had been a pastoral breakdown and blamed a "gang of four" troublemakers bent on undermining him.
"Behaviour like that does not belong in a church," he told the tribunal. "It's like the kind of thing that goes on in the back of an unruly classroom."
He denied being aggressive and suggested that envy may have motivated his critics.
Ambrose, who could not immediately be reached for comment, must leave the post by July 9.
FANCY HAVING THE FORESIGHT TO PUT IN TOILETS, AND TO CREATE SPACE FOR PARISH MEETINGS. HONESTLY THESE PARISHONERS HAVE TOO MUCH TIME ON THEIR HANDS, AS THE DAUGHTER OF A PRIEST, I HAVE WITNESSED FIRST-HAND THE ENDLESS CRITISIM AND NONSENSE 'CHRISTIAN PARISHONERS' DISH OUT, THINKING THEY HAVE EVERY RIGHT TO SAY WHAT THEY WANT. IT'S TOO SILLY FOR WORDS.
The Reverend Tom Ambrose, of St Mary and St Michael Church, Trumpington, Cambridgeshire, was blamed for a "serious pastoral breakdown" that made it impossible for him to keep his job.
The Bishop of Ely, Dr Anthony Russell, ordered him to leave his post after studying a report from a rarely convened tribunal that met in London last September.
"The report discloses a lamentable situation," Russell said in a statement. "I am astonished and dismayed that there are recorded two occasions on which it is said that Dr Ambrose spat at parishioners."
The tribunal criticised Ambrose for his "rude, bullying, high-handed, disorganised and at times petty behaviour".
The trouble started soon after he joined the parish in 1999 and began to make changes:
* Ambrose upset some parishioners by using a computer slideshow during a Christmas Day service.
* He was also criticised for using so much incense that people felt unwell.
* He alienated some with plans to modernise the church by installing lavatories and removing a section of pews to create space for meetings.
* Others were angry over a decision to fell trees in the churchyard without consulting the Parochial Church Council and by changes to the date of the Harvest Festival supper.
* Ambrose also used sermons to criticise members of his flock. The bishop described that as "completely inappropriate".
The case received widespread media coverage last year, with newspaper headlines such as "Fear and loathing at the vicarage" and "Is this the rudest vicar in Britain?"
Ambrose denied there had been a pastoral breakdown and blamed a "gang of four" troublemakers bent on undermining him.
"Behaviour like that does not belong in a church," he told the tribunal. "It's like the kind of thing that goes on in the back of an unruly classroom."
He denied being aggressive and suggested that envy may have motivated his critics.
Ambrose, who could not immediately be reached for comment, must leave the post by July 9.
FANCY HAVING THE FORESIGHT TO PUT IN TOILETS, AND TO CREATE SPACE FOR PARISH MEETINGS. HONESTLY THESE PARISHONERS HAVE TOO MUCH TIME ON THEIR HANDS, AS THE DAUGHTER OF A PRIEST, I HAVE WITNESSED FIRST-HAND THE ENDLESS CRITISIM AND NONSENSE 'CHRISTIAN PARISHONERS' DISH OUT, THINKING THEY HAVE EVERY RIGHT TO SAY WHAT THEY WANT. IT'S TOO SILLY FOR WORDS.
Thursday, April 10, 2008
The Olympic Torch Relay, San Francisco
The Olympic Torch relay turned quickly into a farce this morning. Protesters lined the route waving red Chinese flags, and huge FREE TIBET 2008 banners. At one point the torch was 'lost' for 40 mins, as it disappeared into a warehouse.
Personally I find this disruption totally disrespectful to the Runners and torch bearers, who have earnt their right to carry the flame.
They are the leaders of their society, and no one has that right to frighten them and bring the Torch into disrepute.
If you want to protest about Tibet to China, stop buying goods from them.
How about Free Taiwan whilst we are at it?
They don't want to part of China either, but there ya go.
I have long viewed the Dalai Lama with suspicion, I think he adores travelling around the world, with World Leaders throwing themselves at his feet in worship. I just don’t get it.
Wednesday, April 09, 2008
Perth WA 2008
Kangaroo steak!!! YUM!!
Here are a select few photos from our holiday:
My new favourite beach is Cottesloe.......
Here are a select few photos from our holiday:
My new favourite beach is Cottesloe.......
Tuesday, April 08, 2008
You can't make an omlette without breaking an egg
Our Dealership is coming down, and will be beautifully rebuilt, woot!
Sunday, April 06, 2008
Snow in April
Well, it was forecast, and we got it, looks lovely though. The birds may not like it much, they will have to do a bit of snow clearing to get to the feeder.
Saturday, April 05, 2008
The Things you find on Google!
Goodness, lookey what Ijust found...hehehe.
After going through the many photos that grace this site with their visual appeal, there lives a wonderful person by the screenname PattyCam. A joyous, upbeat photographer, PattyCam is astounding. She has got one of the sweetest attitudes here on Buzznet, as well as over a thousand different photos that just ooze awesome. Her posts are unique and inspiring, and she has managed to go on posting for over 2 years!!
No one is cooler than she is.
After going through the many photos that grace this site with their visual appeal, there lives a wonderful person by the screenname PattyCam. A joyous, upbeat photographer, PattyCam is astounding. She has got one of the sweetest attitudes here on Buzznet, as well as over a thousand different photos that just ooze awesome. Her posts are unique and inspiring, and she has managed to go on posting for over 2 years!!
No one is cooler than she is.
Friday, April 04, 2008
Seriously cool website
If you don't click this site I will personally crawl through your computer and hit you. Just click it, and run shockwave. *click, click.
Joke. (not really)
A professional photographer, at a friend's house for dinner, was asked to show his portfolio from a recent overseas trip.
His friends were quite impressed.
"What wonderful photos!" said the wife. "You must have a very expensive camera."
The photographer just smiled and waited until after dinner, when he said, "Thank you for the delicious meal.
You must have very expensive pans!"
His friends were quite impressed.
"What wonderful photos!" said the wife. "You must have a very expensive camera."
The photographer just smiled and waited until after dinner, when he said, "Thank you for the delicious meal.
You must have very expensive pans!"
Physical Therapy
Two women were playing golf. One teed off and watched in horror as her ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole.
The ball hit one of the men. He immediately clasped his hands together at his groin, fell to the ground and proceeded to roll around in agony.
The woman rushed down to the man, and immediately began to apologize. 'Please allow me to help. I'm a Physical Therapist and I know I could relieve your pain if you'd allow me', she told him.
'Oh, no, I'll be all right. I'll be fine in a few minutes,' the man replied. He was in obvious agony,
lying in the fetal position, still clasping his hands there at his groin.
At her persistence, however, he finally allowed her to help.
She gently took his hands away and laid them to the side, loosened his pants and put her hands inside. She administered tender and artful massage for several long moments and asked, 'How does that feel?'
He replied, 'It feels great, but I think my thumb's still broken!'
The ball hit one of the men. He immediately clasped his hands together at his groin, fell to the ground and proceeded to roll around in agony.
The woman rushed down to the man, and immediately began to apologize. 'Please allow me to help. I'm a Physical Therapist and I know I could relieve your pain if you'd allow me', she told him.
'Oh, no, I'll be all right. I'll be fine in a few minutes,' the man replied. He was in obvious agony,
lying in the fetal position, still clasping his hands there at his groin.
At her persistence, however, he finally allowed her to help.
She gently took his hands away and laid them to the side, loosened his pants and put her hands inside. She administered tender and artful massage for several long moments and asked, 'How does that feel?'
He replied, 'It feels great, but I think my thumb's still broken!'
Online Virtual 20/20 Summit
For those of us who are still waiting for their invitation to the 20/20 Summit in Canberra. Got an idea you'd like to submit then click the link to find out more
Thursday, April 03, 2008
Bird Feeder
Two daily visitors to my garden. They have worked and worked to get this seed bell down, and they have triumphed.
We have a lot of birds, just not all at the same time. A Great Tit feeding from the fat balls and the pigeons looking on.
We have a lot of birds, just not all at the same time. A Great Tit feeding from the fat balls and the pigeons looking on.
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