Friday, January 19, 2007
Thursday, January 18, 2007
Fun with your camera ideas
Photo Assignments
With the onslaught of digital cameras you can now and shoot a couple hundred of pictures in a day without spending a dime. Digital photography is a great way to entertain yourself and improve your photography skills quickly.
Action shots
Be the paparazzi on a member of your family or a friend
Beautiful males or females (whatever you are into)
Candid shots (Just keep shooting till you get a good one)
Discover your own backyard
Dress up
Friends making funny faces
Funny signs
Get out your camera and take pictures of anything that makes you smile.
Great body parts
Happy faces
Have your photo taken with as many strangers as you can possibly befriend in one night
Pets in funny hats, glasses or whatever
Pictures of the people you don't have pictures of
Reflections
Silly poses
Sunrises and sunsets
Take a couch (Or any other inanimate object) and have strangers or your friends at all kinds of stores and landscapes
Tourist in your own town get as many pictures of you by the tourist attractions in your town
With the onslaught of digital cameras you can now and shoot a couple hundred of pictures in a day without spending a dime. Digital photography is a great way to entertain yourself and improve your photography skills quickly.
Action shots
Be the paparazzi on a member of your family or a friend
Beautiful males or females (whatever you are into)
Candid shots (Just keep shooting till you get a good one)
Discover your own backyard
Dress up
Friends making funny faces
Funny signs
Get out your camera and take pictures of anything that makes you smile.
Great body parts
Happy faces
Have your photo taken with as many strangers as you can possibly befriend in one night
Pets in funny hats, glasses or whatever
Pictures of the people you don't have pictures of
Reflections
Silly poses
Sunrises and sunsets
Take a couch (Or any other inanimate object) and have strangers or your friends at all kinds of stores and landscapes
Tourist in your own town get as many pictures of you by the tourist attractions in your town
Something to do over the weekend maybe
.Put condoms in other peoples' carts and follow them to the checkout and watch their expressions when they discover what was in their cart
.Go to a multiplex cinema and see how many movies you can go to on one ticket before you get kicked out
.Secretly rip out the last page of a book your friend is reading, but leave a note indicating where they can find it. NO DON'T DO THIS LOL
.Sneakily get the eggs from someone's refrigerator and hard-boil them all. Then put them back where you found them.
."Borrow" an ugly ornament from your neighbor's yard - see how long it takes them to notice
.Dress up really weird and walk around the block waving to people you have never seen
.Sit in a large cardboard box on the side of the road with a sign that says, "Why lie? I need a BEER!!"
.Climb into a window display and pose
.Hide in the clothes racks, and when people walk by, or browse at the racks, change your voice and say "buy me", "pick me" or something of that sort
.Hum the "Mission I mpossible" theme loudly in a retail store
.Go to a multiplex cinema and see how many movies you can go to on one ticket before you get kicked out
.Secretly rip out the last page of a book your friend is reading, but leave a note indicating where they can find it. NO DON'T DO THIS LOL
.Sneakily get the eggs from someone's refrigerator and hard-boil them all. Then put them back where you found them.
."Borrow" an ugly ornament from your neighbor's yard - see how long it takes them to notice
.Dress up really weird and walk around the block waving to people you have never seen
.Sit in a large cardboard box on the side of the road with a sign that says, "Why lie? I need a BEER!!"
.Climb into a window display and pose
.Hide in the clothes racks, and when people walk by, or browse at the racks, change your voice and say "buy me", "pick me" or something of that sort
.Hum the "Mission I mpossible" theme loudly in a retail store
Lost Cable
Anyone seen a cable? It's brown, about 1 metre in length and has a small thingy that plugs into the modem at one end and an even bigger plactic thingy on the other end that plugs into my hard drive. Should anyone have seen this single cable then please call Crime Stoppers
Have you grown up?
25 SIGNS YOU HAVE GROWN UP
1. Your houseplants are alive, and you can't smoke any of them.
2. Having sex in a twin bed is out of the question.
3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge.
4. 6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to bed.
5. You hear your favorite song in an elevator.
6. You watch the Weather Channel.
7. Your friends marry and divorce instead of "hook up" and "breakup."
8. You go from 130 days of vacation time to 14.
9. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as "dressed up."
10. You're the one calling the police because those %&@# kids next
door won't turn down the stereo.
11. Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you.
12. You don't know what time Taco Bell closes anymore.
13. Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up.
14. You feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonald's leftovers.
15. Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt.
16. You take naps.
17. Dinner and a movie is the whole date instead of thebeginning of one.
18. Eating a basket of chicken wings at 3 AM would severely upset,
rather than settle, your stomach.
19. You go to the drug store for Ibuprofen and Antacid, Notcondoms
and pregnancy tests.
20. A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer "pretty good shit."
21. You actually eat breakfast food at breakfast time.
22. "I just can't drink the way I used to" replaces "I'm never going
to drink that much again."
23. 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work.
24. You drink at home to save money before going to a bar.
25. When you find out your friend is pregnant you congratulate! them
in stead of asking "Oh shit what the hell happened?"
Bonus:
26: You read this entire list looking desperately for one sign that
doesn't apply to you and can't find one to save your sorry old ass.
Then you forward it to a bunch of old friends 'cause you know
they'll enjoy it & do.
1. Your houseplants are alive, and you can't smoke any of them.
2. Having sex in a twin bed is out of the question.
3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge.
4. 6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to bed.
5. You hear your favorite song in an elevator.
6. You watch the Weather Channel.
7. Your friends marry and divorce instead of "hook up" and "breakup."
8. You go from 130 days of vacation time to 14.
9. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as "dressed up."
10. You're the one calling the police because those %&@# kids next
door won't turn down the stereo.
11. Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you.
12. You don't know what time Taco Bell closes anymore.
13. Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up.
14. You feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonald's leftovers.
15. Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt.
16. You take naps.
17. Dinner and a movie is the whole date instead of thebeginning of one.
18. Eating a basket of chicken wings at 3 AM would severely upset,
rather than settle, your stomach.
19. You go to the drug store for Ibuprofen and Antacid, Notcondoms
and pregnancy tests.
20. A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer "pretty good shit."
21. You actually eat breakfast food at breakfast time.
22. "I just can't drink the way I used to" replaces "I'm never going
to drink that much again."
23. 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work.
24. You drink at home to save money before going to a bar.
25. When you find out your friend is pregnant you congratulate! them
in stead of asking "Oh shit what the hell happened?"
Bonus:
26: You read this entire list looking desperately for one sign that
doesn't apply to you and can't find one to save your sorry old ass.
Then you forward it to a bunch of old friends 'cause you know
they'll enjoy it & do.
Wednesday, January 17, 2007
The Tall Man
A big, stern woman with a long grey plait and reading glasses on the end of her nose, her dress hung from her bust like a tent. “Tribulation times are coming!” she cried. “And they’re going to be very hard, brothers and sisters!”
She’d been browsing the web, and now saw the end of the world was nigh. “The returning Lord will come at an unexpected time, but a time with specific observable signs. There are signs all around us: there are murders, there are rapes, there are all kinds of things going on.” Disease, pestilence, famine, floods and earthquakes: I assumed she was talking about Palm Island. But she continued, “We are fortunate in this community because nothing has happened to us yet.”
“Are you serious?” I thought. “Are you insane?”
Read more here.....
She’d been browsing the web, and now saw the end of the world was nigh. “The returning Lord will come at an unexpected time, but a time with specific observable signs. There are signs all around us: there are murders, there are rapes, there are all kinds of things going on.” Disease, pestilence, famine, floods and earthquakes: I assumed she was talking about Palm Island. But she continued, “We are fortunate in this community because nothing has happened to us yet.”
“Are you serious?” I thought. “Are you insane?”
Read more here.....
Monday, January 15, 2007
another few
Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends.
You order what you want, then when you see what the other person has, you wish you had ordered that.
At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, "Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?"
The other replied, "Yes, I am, I married the wrong man."
After a quarrel, a husband said to his wife, "You know, I was a fool when I married you."
She replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't notice."
A lady inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Husband wanted." Next day she received a hundred letters.
They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."
The bride, upon her engagement, went to her mother and said, "I've found a man just like father!" Her mother replied, "So what do you want from me, sympathy?"
A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"
And the father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying!"
joke
A drunk gets up from the bar and heads for the bathroom.
A few minutes later, a loud, blood-curdling scream is heard coming from the bathroom.
A few minutes after that, another loud scream reverberates through the bar.
The bartender goes into the bathroom to investigate what the drunk is screaming about.
"What's all the screaming about in there? You're scaring my customers! "
" I'm just sitting here on the toilet and every time I try to flush, something comes up and squeezes the heck out of my testicles."
With that, the bartender opens the door, looks in and says, "You idiot! You're sitting on the mop bucket!!!
A few minutes later, a loud, blood-curdling scream is heard coming from the bathroom.
A few minutes after that, another loud scream reverberates through the bar.
The bartender goes into the bathroom to investigate what the drunk is screaming about.
"What's all the screaming about in there? You're scaring my customers! "
" I'm just sitting here on the toilet and every time I try to flush, something comes up and squeezes the heck out of my testicles."
With that, the bartender opens the door, looks in and says, "You idiot! You're sitting on the mop bucket!!!
Sunday, January 14, 2007
Brightest Comet to appear
THE brightest comet in Australia's skies for more than 40 years will appear from tomorrow, astronomers have said.
Saturday, January 13, 2007
Joke
The mental ward nurse entered a room and found a patient sitting in a chair pretending to drive a car. The nurse asked, "What are you doing, Charlie?" Charlie replied, "Driving to Chicago!" She wished him a good trip and left. The next day, she entered Charlie's room just as he stopped driving his imaginary car and asked, "How are you doing today, Charlie?" Charlie answered, "I just got to Chicago!" "Great," she replied. The nurse left Charlie's room and went across the hall into Bob's room, and found Bob sitting on his bed, masturbating furiously. Shocked, she cried, "Bob, what are you doing?" Bob said, "While Charlie's in Chicago, I'm screwing his wife!"
A husband visited his wife at her new office. "I'm glad to see you keep a photo of me on your desk." "Yes," his wife replied, "whenever I have a difficult problem, I just look at your picture and the problem seems less important." The husband smiled. "See how powerful I am for you?" His wife replied, "Yes, I just think, 'What problem can possibly be worse than that one!'"
A husband visited his wife at her new office. "I'm glad to see you keep a photo of me on your desk." "Yes," his wife replied, "whenever I have a difficult problem, I just look at your picture and the problem seems less important." The husband smiled. "See how powerful I am for you?" His wife replied, "Yes, I just think, 'What problem can possibly be worse than that one!'"
Friday, January 12, 2007
how true
To get back my youth I would do anything in the world, except take exercise, get up early, or be respectable.
OSCAR WILDE
OSCAR WILDE
Three thing Paul needs to know about Uni
1. It's not all study
2.The women are no longer called chicks
3. Enjoy you time as a senior student
2.The women are no longer called chicks
3. Enjoy you time as a senior student
FOOTBALL star David Beckham will shine in a new galaxy from next season, literally, after signing for Los Angeles Galaxy for $1.3 million a week.
Come and listen to a story about a man named David
A poor Londener, barely kept his family fed,
Then one day he was shootin at some food,
And up through the ground came a bubblin' crude.
Oil that is, black gold, Texas tea.
Well the first thing you know ol' Dave's a millionaire,
Kinfolk said Dave move away from there
Said Californy is the place you ought to be
So they loaded up the truck and moved to Beverly.
Hills, that is.
Swimmin pools, movie stars.
Life just makes no sense
A poor Londener, barely kept his family fed,
Then one day he was shootin at some food,
And up through the ground came a bubblin' crude.
Oil that is, black gold, Texas tea.
Well the first thing you know ol' Dave's a millionaire,
Kinfolk said Dave move away from there
Said Californy is the place you ought to be
So they loaded up the truck and moved to Beverly.
Hills, that is.
Swimmin pools, movie stars.
Life just makes no sense
Flame Trree
Brachychiton acerifolius --Flame tree in my yard is not looking as well as it could , maybe its the drought.
Thursday, January 11, 2007
Wednesday, January 10, 2007
New Words for 2007
TESTICULATING. Waving your arms around and talking Bollocks.
BLAMESTORMING. Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.
SEAGULL MANAGER. A manager, who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everything, and then leaves.
ASSMOSIS. The process by which people seem to absorb success and advancement by sucking up to the boss rather than working hard.
SALMON DAY. The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get screwed and die.
CUBE FARM. An office filled with cubicles.
PRAIRIE DOGGING. When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm, and people's heads pop up over the walls to see that's going on. (This also applies to applause for a promotion because there may be cake.)
SITCOMs. Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage. What yuppies turn into when they have children and one of them stops working to stay home with the kids or start a "home business".
SINBAD. Single working girls. Single income, no boyfriend and desperate.
STRESS PUPPY. A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and whiny.
PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE. The fine art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get it to work again.
ADMINISPHERE. The rarefied organisational layers beginning just above the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the "adminisphere" are often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed to solve. This is often affiliated with the dreaded "administrivia" -
needless paperwork and processes.
404. Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web error message "404 Not Found," meaning that the requested document could not be located.
OHNOSECOND. That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that you've just made a BIG mistake (e.g. you've hit 'reply all')
GOING FOR A McPOO. Entering a fast food restaurant with no intention of buying food, you're just going to the bog. If challenged by a pimply staff member, your declaration to them that you'll buy their food afterwards is known as a McPOO with Lies.
AEROPLANE BLONDE. One who has bleached/dyed her hair but still has a 'black box'.
AUSSIE KISS. Similar to a French Kiss, but given down under.
BEER COAT. The invisible but warm coat worn when walking home after a booze cruise at 3am.
BEER COMPASS. The invisible device that ensures your safe arrival home after booze cruise, even though you're too drunk to remember where you live, how you got here, and where you've come from.
GREYHOUND. A very short skirt, only an inch from the hare.
MILLENNIUM DOMES. The contents of a Wonderbra, i.e. extremely impressive when viewed from the outside, but there's actually naught in there worth seeing.
MONKEY BATH . A bath so hot, that when lowering yourself in, you go:"Oo!Oo!Oo! Aa!Aa!Aa!".
MYSTERY BUS. The bus that arrives at the pub on Friday night while you're in the toilet after your 10th pint, and whisks away all the unattractive people so the pub is suddenly packed with stunners when you come back in.
MYSTERY TAXI. The taxi that arrives at your place on Saturday morning before you wake up, whisks away the stunner you slept with, and leaves a 10-Pinter in your bed instead.
PICASSO BUM. A woman whose knickers are too small for her, so she looks like she's got four buttocks
SALAD DODGER. An excellent phrase for an overweight person
SWAMP-DONKEY A deeply unattractive person
TART FUEL. Bottled premixed spirits, regularly consumed by young women
BLAMESTORMING. Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.
SEAGULL MANAGER. A manager, who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everything, and then leaves.
ASSMOSIS. The process by which people seem to absorb success and advancement by sucking up to the boss rather than working hard.
SALMON DAY. The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get screwed and die.
CUBE FARM. An office filled with cubicles.
PRAIRIE DOGGING. When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm, and people's heads pop up over the walls to see that's going on. (This also applies to applause for a promotion because there may be cake.)
SITCOMs. Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage. What yuppies turn into when they have children and one of them stops working to stay home with the kids or start a "home business".
SINBAD. Single working girls. Single income, no boyfriend and desperate.
STRESS PUPPY. A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and whiny.
PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE. The fine art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get it to work again.
ADMINISPHERE. The rarefied organisational layers beginning just above the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the "adminisphere" are often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed to solve. This is often affiliated with the dreaded "administrivia" -
needless paperwork and processes.
404. Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web error message "404 Not Found," meaning that the requested document could not be located.
OHNOSECOND. That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that you've just made a BIG mistake (e.g. you've hit 'reply all')
GOING FOR A McPOO. Entering a fast food restaurant with no intention of buying food, you're just going to the bog. If challenged by a pimply staff member, your declaration to them that you'll buy their food afterwards is known as a McPOO with Lies.
AEROPLANE BLONDE. One who has bleached/dyed her hair but still has a 'black box'.
AUSSIE KISS. Similar to a French Kiss, but given down under.
BEER COAT. The invisible but warm coat worn when walking home after a booze cruise at 3am.
BEER COMPASS. The invisible device that ensures your safe arrival home after booze cruise, even though you're too drunk to remember where you live, how you got here, and where you've come from.
GREYHOUND. A very short skirt, only an inch from the hare.
MILLENNIUM DOMES. The contents of a Wonderbra, i.e. extremely impressive when viewed from the outside, but there's actually naught in there worth seeing.
MONKEY BATH . A bath so hot, that when lowering yourself in, you go:"Oo!Oo!Oo! Aa!Aa!Aa!".
MYSTERY BUS. The bus that arrives at the pub on Friday night while you're in the toilet after your 10th pint, and whisks away all the unattractive people so the pub is suddenly packed with stunners when you come back in.
MYSTERY TAXI. The taxi that arrives at your place on Saturday morning before you wake up, whisks away the stunner you slept with, and leaves a 10-Pinter in your bed instead.
PICASSO BUM. A woman whose knickers are too small for her, so she looks like she's got four buttocks
SALAD DODGER. An excellent phrase for an overweight person
SWAMP-DONKEY A deeply unattractive person
TART FUEL. Bottled premixed spirits, regularly consumed by young women
Joke
Jim stumbled home, drunk as a skunk.
His wife saw him and yelled, "Drunk again!"
Jim replied, "Oh, yeah? Me, too!"
His wife saw him and yelled, "Drunk again!"
Jim replied, "Oh, yeah? Me, too!"
Tuesday, January 09, 2007
Monday, January 08, 2007
Bird Watching
A sole Rainbow Lorikeet on my back verandah. I'm able to get a hands distance fom her/ him without him flying off. Somebodys tame pet ? Doesn't look to be injured. Must just like me lol
Friday, January 05, 2007
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