ANZAC Day 2004

Found this - was originally posted in my Old Blog, now gone, (thanks Google)

A red wine and a day full of memories, bear with me as I reminisce about yesterdays ANZAC Day Dawn Service and parade....

My eldest sister has never been to a Dawn Service, being a Nursing Sister, she is usually working, or sleeping, so I suggest that she stay at my home and we go in together as a family to reflect and understand our heritage...

The alarm sounds at 3.15am, my feet automatically swing to hit the floor, after years of being a radio reporter (and a rowers mum) and getting up at absurd hours, I know enough about myself not to simply lie there... I will fall back asleep.. so like a robot, I am up and on my feet before my eyes have opened...

We have pinned on Mum and Dad's war medal miniatures the night before, always on the right side if representing someone else, and we add rosemary sprigs...

Cups of hot tea, toast and Vegemite, and we are on our way, driving into the remnants of a black, still, autumn night... the two boys of mine and Sissy, making our way along the streets watching the late-night clubbers spill out onto the footpaths at 3.50am...

Park the car, a quick walk till we merge into the pedestrian mainstream of other families (like spawning salmon) with a common destination in mind... right next to the Memorial where the wreaths will be laid...

The clock behind us seems to slow like treacle. 3.33am. 4am. 4.10am. I imagine our young Aussie soldiers, like the scene from the Tom Cruise movie, kissing their photographs in their pockets, saying a prayer, finding God, willing themselves on because they are Aussies, and it's what you do. In war.

I turn around again, until I decide not to do it anymore...but I still do, I need to know how much longer. I am waiting for 4.28, the exact time our young men began their battle and became national heroes.

The last time we stood here, two years ago, sirens of an ambulance screamed past; and I was momentarily annoyed, but within its sound I found a safe secure feeling of being looked after.

This morning, there is only silence, 10,000 people breathing in and out and thinking and wondering and remembering and being quiet and reflective, young boys and girls, university students, families, oldies, all anticipating the arrival of 4.28am.

The Catafalque party stand stiff and proud, their uniforms ironed with utter precision, their faces so young, some with medals already pinned to their chest, perhaps Iraq, perhaps Timor, who knows?

In the distance there is a strumming, no…. It’s more like a drumming… That’s it… drums, lots of them… And sure enough the sound grows and expands as they approach the crowd. Soon a Pipe Band marches into view, no bagpipes, only the drums, urgent and demanding, rat-a--tat! rat-a-tat! The sound engulfs us till suddenly - nothing. The air hangs with expectation.

A young girls voice begins....

They went with songs to the battle, they were young,
Straight of limb, true of eye, steady and aglow.
They were staunch to the end against odds uncounted:
They fell with their faces to the foe.

They shall grow not old, as we that are left grow old:
Age shall not weary them, nor the years contemn.
At the going down of the sun and in the morning
We will remember them

Lest we forget.

The service begins, with the moving hymn, 'Abide with Me' God save our Queen, and so on... words from the Governor, my arm around my sisters waist, my two boys spontaneously breaking out to sing Advance Australia Fair, my pride in them, the Last Post, wreath laying, complete strangers brought together to remember our history... and so we turn and look at each other and go home...

It's now 5.15am, and nearly time to take Bear to his own parade, at another suburb, he changes into his Scout uniform, pinning on his Grandfathers medals, and then Sissy and I and Bear are driving into a blazing red sky sunrise... 'red sky in the morning, shepherds warning, red sky at night, sailors delight'.

Naturally I stop and photograph the sky, this gorgeous dawn over Brisbane, a celebration of colour and clouds and nature and God and things you and I could never know about....

Bears parade goes well, Wonga out the front of the Scouts, Joeys and little Cubbie Scouts, all looking very spiffy in their uniforms, Bear looking older and older as I stare at him in disbelief. When did he grow up so fast? He looks very handsome and mature, and manages to roll his eyes at me as I photograph him...

We have been there before, for the Scouts, but this is our last time, as Bear is about to graduate from Scouts and leave...

Singing Abide with Me again, I listen to my sisters clear pure voice, softly, quietly; holding the notes, saying the beautiful words, her voice mesmerises me, and I cannot sing, it is beyond me today, I am choked with emotion... my mouth opens and closes without a sound... I am mute.

Hold thou thy cross before my closing eyes;
Shine through the gloom and point me to the skies.
Heaven's morning breaks, and earth's vain shadows flee;
In life, in death, O Lord, abide with me.

Again the Last Post.

More tears, until my body is shaking with tears, no sound, I am wracked with grief, overcome and distraught....

I cry more at this service, than at Dad's funeral.

I sob, breathe, sob some more, until I run out of tissues... time to hug and hold each other in our grief, our first ANZAC Day without Dad, the first of a number of firsts...

We managed, it wasn't the same, it can never be the same without you Dad, but we managed...

Home to a huge breakfast of bacon and eggs and toast and tea and hugs and a candle lit for you Dad and for everyone else.

ANZAC day 2004. Lest we forget.