Monday, October 13, 2008

How NOT to be a photo skank on Facebook

Ladies, here's a little tip from an old girl like me. Skanky Facebook girls are a dime a dozen, make sure you keep a tiny bit of your life private. Please.

Rules of Facebook:
1. Try not to be photographed with your mouth wide open. This simply tells us that you haven't been to your dentist in a quite a while.
2. If your nifty new digital camera has automatic focus, then use it. It's there for a reason.
3. Ditto if your camera software can remove red eyes, it's not such a great look, really.
4. If you must sit on the floor to be photographed because you are unfit to stand, don't shoot either up your nose, or up your legs. Nasty.
5. If you are going to take your own photo with your best friend, then don't be a camera hog and take up most of the frame.
6. Always check your background before pressing the shutter button. Are there illegal drugs over there, behind you?
7. I am not sure of the logic of showing us your finer points of being drunk, dishrevelled and disorderley. Was there a point?
8. Try to respect yourself just a little bit - and not upload anything you might look back in 5 years time and shudder. Make that 2 weeks time.
9. Sitting on the toilet doing your business, is your business, what makes you think we would want to see you like that? What were you thinking?
10. Unless you do this all the time in your everyday normal life, please stop kissing the same sex, especially if you are straight, argh. This also applies to men.
11. Learn to use your self-timer if you must insist on taking your own photograph, that was we don't get to see your outstretched arm, every single time.
12. When photographing a group of girls at a mirror, turn your flash off. And make sure you are fully dressed.
13. Are you really sure you want your photo of you making out on the couch shown on facebook?
14. And did you have to Tag him? Ask first, he might be embarressed.
15. Unless you want to walk around with a cricked neck, make sure you turn your image around, not leave it sideways.
16. Learn to delete, and edit. Delete. And edit.

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