Saturday, March 29, 2008
Friday, March 28, 2008
My father's book - at last!
I nagged dad for 4 years to publish his autobiography, and he very nearly did, dying before he was able to complete it, sadly.
I promised dad I would complete his journey and publish it, and so I have, after 4 long years of editing and indecision on how to complete the book...
"....and then he died.......argh..."
Anyway, it's now published on glossy paper (for the photos) and looks (and feels) great. I am very happy and relieved.
Dad will be pleased.
Here's the Foreword, by anthropologist Athol Chase.
FOREWORD
Some years ago John Warby published his memoir called “You-me Mates Eh?” which dealt with his nine years or so across the decade of the ‘50s as the superintendent of the Lockhart River Mission in eastern Cape York Peninsula. He was kind enough to ask me to write a foreword for that book, which I was extremely happy to do. I had spent much time at Lockhart (at the new site location near the Iron Range Airport) since 1970, and I had also met John on quite a number of occasions in Rockhampton. He was a good friend, and all my experiences with him bore out the great reputation he and his wife had developed at Lockhart River as mission helpers of character, strength, and of love towards all people.
The last time I saw John was at my mother’s funeral in Rockhampton in 1998. He had not known her, but he has seen the funeral notice in the paper, and he had come along on his very shaky legs, in his 80s, to pay his respects to our friendship. As is the way of church funerals, there were the usual desperate and faint attempts on the congregation’s part to sing hymns in tune, and to make a valid participation. At my mother’s funeral, my brother had chosen a number of old Anglican stalwarts to be sung, and as could be expected, there was faint and muted participation. John decided to move things along, and from the rear of St Pauls cathedral came this magnificent voice, loud and resonant like an organ, giving very sure leadership to the congregation. I knew without looking who it was: John had come to the rescue.
In this book John has incorporated his earlier account of the Lockhart days, but he takes us back to the very beginnings of his life in New South Wales, the depression years, his subsequent enlistment in the Army, and his long period of active service as an artilleryman in the Middle East and in the south Pacific. After the war the young John, deeply affected by his war experience, married and set up house in Thursday Island, engaging in the trochus and pearling industry. He had been deeply religious since his war experiences, and in the decade of the fifties he took on the superintendency of Lockhart River mission through a Christian sense of duty. His time there is well reported in this book too.
Following his time at the Mission, John decided to go the whole nine Christian yards, and he entered St Francis’s college to study for the priesthood. Once ordained he worked as a priest in central Queensland with his usual full-on zeal, always with a strong commitment to Aboriginal people in central Queensland. For this work he was made Queenslander of the year in 1989, and his acceptance speech did little to endear him to the Premier of the time, Joh Bjelke-Petersen. As I remember, it was a brave statement of defiance about the validity of Aboriginal people and their rights. Later he also was awarded an OAM, which was richly deserved. John died before finishing his life story, and his daughter Patty has added information to complete the account. The book stands as testimony to a true friend of many Aboriginal and European Australians, and a truly humble, devoted and very effective Anglican priest, for it is in those terms which I think John would wish to be remembered.
Athol Chase
March 2008
Thursday, March 27, 2008
Mum's Park Bench
Mum has been a pioneer native plant grower, so I thought a nice thing to do would be to have a park bench in her name. Voila!
Mum's day-trip to China
So Mum has always wanted to go to China, havent we all, but these days she is prolly a little frail to travel so far, so.... I took China to her; for a day.
A double Lion Dance, a traditional greeting of Good Luck spelt out in oranges a Fan Dance, a tour of the Joss, histoy explained and understood, lighting joss sticks and have Mum's fortune read out from the stick thingies, lol.
What a marvellous memory, thankyou Dorothy for organising this for me, and Mum.
WHAT ANIMAL were YOU in a past life
I was a Deer |
 Graceful and gentle, you appreciate beauty and balance. A giving soul, you are able to sacrifice for the greater good. |
Monday, March 24, 2008
Jackalope
Jackalope, is generally considered a hoax. Some believe that the tales of jackalopes were inspired by sightings of rabbits infected with the Shope papillomavirus, which causes the growth of horn- and antler-like tumors in various places on the rabbit's head and body.http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jackalope
Saturday, March 22, 2008
Rainbow.
Rain and sun today, then a rainbow.
If you look closely at the picture below, you can just see a double rainbow.
If you look closely at the picture below, you can just see a double rainbow.
Friday, March 21, 2008
Thursday, March 20, 2008
ponder these
Something to lighten a day... but who has the time to think of these things!!!!
1. If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?
2. If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?
3. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
4. If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?
5. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
6. Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
7. When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?
8. Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person who drives a racing car not called a racist?
9. Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposites?
10. Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?
11. Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one?
12. "I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence?
13. If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?
14. What hair colour do they put on the driver's licences of bald men?
15. I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?
16. Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the postmen can look for them while they deliver the mail?
17. You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
18. No one ever says, "It's only a game" when their team is winning.
19. Ever wonder about those people who spend £1.50 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backwards: NAIVE
20. Isn't making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?
21. If 4 out of 5 people suffer from diarrhoea, does that mean that one enjoys it?
1. If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?
2. If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?
3. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
4. If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?
5. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
6. Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
7. When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?
8. Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person who drives a racing car not called a racist?
9. Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposites?
10. Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?
11. Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one?
12. "I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence?
13. If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?
14. What hair colour do they put on the driver's licences of bald men?
15. I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?
16. Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the postmen can look for them while they deliver the mail?
17. You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
18. No one ever says, "It's only a game" when their team is winning.
19. Ever wonder about those people who spend £1.50 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backwards: NAIVE
20. Isn't making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?
21. If 4 out of 5 people suffer from diarrhoea, does that mean that one enjoys it?
Monday, March 17, 2008
Movie of the month.
Vantage POINT.
Two Secret Service agents are assigned to protect the President at a landmark summit on the global war on terror. When the President is shot moments after his arrival, chaos ensues and the disparate lives of an American tourist, a television news producer and the two Secret Service agents assigned to protect the President collide.
It is only after we follow the event from each person’s perspective that the terrifying truth behind the assassination attempt is revealed
Plenty of action in this film, if you liked The Bourne trilogy with Matt Daimon you will enjoy this on the big screen.
Rating: FOUR STARS
Sunday, March 16, 2008
Saturday, March 15, 2008
Friday, March 14, 2008
Thursday, March 13, 2008
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
Buzznet Essentials - Aperture Dilation: PattyCam
Guys and dolls, we have another one of those awesome photographers on here that virtually no one knows about. Her name is PattyCam.
She has been here since 2005, gracing this website with a little over a thousand awesome photos. She has got an eye for beauty, and even though I just found out about her a few weeks ago, she is a very sweet person to have as a friend.
So, without further delay, fall in love with her photos...NOW:
She has been here since 2005, gracing this website with a little over a thousand awesome photos. She has got an eye for beauty, and even though I just found out about her a few weeks ago, she is a very sweet person to have as a friend.
So, without further delay, fall in love with her photos...NOW:
For those of us who can appreciate this humor
An elderly gentleman... Had serious hearing problems for a number of years. He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100% The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor and the doctor said, 'Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again.'The gentleman replied, 'Oh, I haven't told my family yet. I just sit around and listen to the conversations. I've changed my will three times!
'Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center were sitting on a bench under a tree when one turns to the other and says: 'Slim, I'm 83 years old now and I'm just full of aches and pains. I know you're about my age. How do you feel?' Slim says, 'I feel just like a newborn baby.' 'Really!? Like a newborn baby!?''Yep. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants.'
An elderly couple had dinner at another couple's house, and after eating, the wives left the table and went into the kitchen. The two gentlemen were talking, and one said, 'Last night we went out to a new restaurant and it was really great. I would recommend it very highly.' The other man said, 'What is the name of the restaurant?'The first man thought and thought and finally said, 'What is the name of that flower you give to someone you love? You know.. The one that's red and has thorns.''Do you mean a rose?''Yes, that's the one,' replied the man. He then turned towards the kitchen and yelled, 'Rose, what's the name of that restaurant we went to last night?'
Hospital regulations require a wheel chair for patients being discharged. However, while working as a student nurse, I found one elderly gentleman already dressed and sitting on the bed with a suitcase at his feet, who insisted he didn't need my help to leave the hospital. After a chat about rules being rules, he reluctantly let me wheel him to the elevator. On the way down I asked him if his wife was meeting him.'I don't know,' he said. 'She's still upstairs in the bathroom changing out of her hospital gown.'
Couple in their nineties are both having problems remembering things. During a checkup, the doctor tells them that they're physically okay, but they might want to start writing things down to help them remember Later that night, while watching TV, the old man gets up from his chair. 'Want anything while I'm in the kitchen?' he asks. 'Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?''Sure.''Don't you think you should write it down so you can remember it?' she asks.'No, I can remember it.' 'Well, I'd like some strawberries on top, too. Maybe you should write it down, so's not to forget it?'He says, 'I can remember that. You want a bowl of ice cream with strawberries.' 'I'd also like whipped cream. I'm certain you'll forget that, write it down?' she asks.Irritated, he says, 'I don't need to write it down, I can remember it! Ice cream with strawberries and whipped cream - I got it, for goodness sake!' Then he toddles into the kitchen. After about 20 minutes,The old man returns from the kitchen and hands his wife a plate of bacon and eggs. She stares at the plate for a moment.'Where's my toast ?'
A senior citizen said to his eighty-year old buddy: 'So I hear you're getting married?''Yep!''Do I know her?''Nope!''This woman, is she good looking?''Not really.''Is she a good cook?''Naw, she can't cook too well.''Does she have lots of money?''Nope! Poor as a church mouse.' 'Well, then, is she good in bed?''I don't know.''Why in the world do you want to marry her then ?''Because she can still drive!'
Three old guys are out walking.First one says, 'Windy, isn't it?' Second one says, 'No, it's Thursday!'Third one says, 'So am I. Let's go get a beer.'
A man was telling his neighbor, 'I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me four thousand dollars, but it's state of the art. It's perfect.' 'Really,' answered the neighbor . 'What kind is it?' 'Twelve thirty.
Morris, an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical. A few days later, the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm. A couple of days later, the doctor spoke to Morris and said, 'You're really doing great, aren't you?'Morris replied, 'Just doing what you said, Doc: 'Get a hot mamma and be cheerful.'' The doctor said, 'I didn't say that. I said, 'You've got a heart murmur; be careful.'
One more. . .!
A little old man shuffled slowly into an ice cream parlor and pulled himself slowly, painfully, up onto a stool. After catching his breath, he ordered a banana split. The waitress asked kindly, 'Crushed nuts?''No,' he replied, 'Arthritis.'
'Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center were sitting on a bench under a tree when one turns to the other and says: 'Slim, I'm 83 years old now and I'm just full of aches and pains. I know you're about my age. How do you feel?' Slim says, 'I feel just like a newborn baby.' 'Really!? Like a newborn baby!?''Yep. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants.'
An elderly couple had dinner at another couple's house, and after eating, the wives left the table and went into the kitchen. The two gentlemen were talking, and one said, 'Last night we went out to a new restaurant and it was really great. I would recommend it very highly.' The other man said, 'What is the name of the restaurant?'The first man thought and thought and finally said, 'What is the name of that flower you give to someone you love? You know.. The one that's red and has thorns.''Do you mean a rose?''Yes, that's the one,' replied the man. He then turned towards the kitchen and yelled, 'Rose, what's the name of that restaurant we went to last night?'
Hospital regulations require a wheel chair for patients being discharged. However, while working as a student nurse, I found one elderly gentleman already dressed and sitting on the bed with a suitcase at his feet, who insisted he didn't need my help to leave the hospital. After a chat about rules being rules, he reluctantly let me wheel him to the elevator. On the way down I asked him if his wife was meeting him.'I don't know,' he said. 'She's still upstairs in the bathroom changing out of her hospital gown.'
Couple in their nineties are both having problems remembering things. During a checkup, the doctor tells them that they're physically okay, but they might want to start writing things down to help them remember Later that night, while watching TV, the old man gets up from his chair. 'Want anything while I'm in the kitchen?' he asks. 'Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?''Sure.''Don't you think you should write it down so you can remember it?' she asks.'No, I can remember it.' 'Well, I'd like some strawberries on top, too. Maybe you should write it down, so's not to forget it?'He says, 'I can remember that. You want a bowl of ice cream with strawberries.' 'I'd also like whipped cream. I'm certain you'll forget that, write it down?' she asks.Irritated, he says, 'I don't need to write it down, I can remember it! Ice cream with strawberries and whipped cream - I got it, for goodness sake!' Then he toddles into the kitchen. After about 20 minutes,The old man returns from the kitchen and hands his wife a plate of bacon and eggs. She stares at the plate for a moment.'Where's my toast ?'
A senior citizen said to his eighty-year old buddy: 'So I hear you're getting married?''Yep!''Do I know her?''Nope!''This woman, is she good looking?''Not really.''Is she a good cook?''Naw, she can't cook too well.''Does she have lots of money?''Nope! Poor as a church mouse.' 'Well, then, is she good in bed?''I don't know.''Why in the world do you want to marry her then ?''Because she can still drive!'
Three old guys are out walking.First one says, 'Windy, isn't it?' Second one says, 'No, it's Thursday!'Third one says, 'So am I. Let's go get a beer.'
A man was telling his neighbor, 'I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me four thousand dollars, but it's state of the art. It's perfect.' 'Really,' answered the neighbor . 'What kind is it?' 'Twelve thirty.
Morris, an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical. A few days later, the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm. A couple of days later, the doctor spoke to Morris and said, 'You're really doing great, aren't you?'Morris replied, 'Just doing what you said, Doc: 'Get a hot mamma and be cheerful.'' The doctor said, 'I didn't say that. I said, 'You've got a heart murmur; be careful.'
One more. . .!
A little old man shuffled slowly into an ice cream parlor and pulled himself slowly, painfully, up onto a stool. After catching his breath, he ordered a banana split. The waitress asked kindly, 'Crushed nuts?''No,' he replied, 'Arthritis.'
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
The George W Bush Presidential Library
The George W Bush Presidential Library is now in the planning stages. You'll want to be the first at your corporation to make a contribution to this great man's legacy.
The Library will include:
The Hurricane Katrina Room, which is still under construction.
The Alberto Gonzales Room, where you can't remember anything.
The Texas Air National Guard Room, where you don't have to even show up.
The Walter Reed Hospital Room, where they don't let you in.
The Guantanamo Bay Room, where they don't let you out.
The Weapons of Mass Destruction Room (which no one has been able to find).
The Iraq War Room. After you complete your first tour, they make you to go back for a second, third, fourth, and sometimes fifth tour.
The Dick Cheney Room, in the famous undisclosed location, complete with shooting gallery.
Plans also include: The K-Street Project Gift Shop - where you can buy (or just steal) an election.
The Airport Men's Room, where you can meet some of your favorite Republican Senators.
Last, but not least, there will be an entire floor devoted to a 7/8 scale model of the President's ego.
To highlight the President's accomplishments, the museum will have an electron microscope to help you locate them.
When asked, President Bush said that he didn't care so much about the individual exhibits as long as his museum was better than his father's.
The Library will include:
The Hurricane Katrina Room, which is still under construction.
The Alberto Gonzales Room, where you can't remember anything.
The Texas Air National Guard Room, where you don't have to even show up.
The Walter Reed Hospital Room, where they don't let you in.
The Guantanamo Bay Room, where they don't let you out.
The Weapons of Mass Destruction Room (which no one has been able to find).
The Iraq War Room. After you complete your first tour, they make you to go back for a second, third, fourth, and sometimes fifth tour.
The Dick Cheney Room, in the famous undisclosed location, complete with shooting gallery.
Plans also include: The K-Street Project Gift Shop - where you can buy (or just steal) an election.
The Airport Men's Room, where you can meet some of your favorite Republican Senators.
Last, but not least, there will be an entire floor devoted to a 7/8 scale model of the President's ego.
To highlight the President's accomplishments, the museum will have an electron microscope to help you locate them.
When asked, President Bush said that he didn't care so much about the individual exhibits as long as his museum was better than his father's.
Furby Moth
Saw this moth last night...sooo pretty...its face looks like the kids furby toys they had a few years back ...click on header to watch a furby in a microwave
You have to buy image storage space on Blogger? Huh?
How can I get more storage for my images?
Images and photos that are uploaded through Blogger get stored in your Picasa Web Albums, which are part of your Google Account. The number of images you can upload is therefore dependent on the amount of space you are using on Picasa Web Albums. To find out how much space you have available, please see these instructions.
If you would like to purchase more storage space, the Picasa Web Albums help center can tell you how.
Images and photos that are uploaded through Blogger get stored in your Picasa Web Albums, which are part of your Google Account. The number of images you can upload is therefore dependent on the amount of space you are using on Picasa Web Albums. To find out how much space you have available, please see these instructions.
If you would like to purchase more storage space, the Picasa Web Albums help center can tell you how.
Saturday, March 08, 2008
Green thumb V's Pink Finger.
This isn't photoshopped, but a quick snap to play with my new lens, but look, doesn't it look like a crooked pointing finger? lol.
Friday, March 07, 2008
Archibald Winner
I realize we all like different things but I just don't like this, it looks flat has no dimension to it, by that i mean it has no volume to the body of the painting
*Best 'Out of Office' Automatic e-mail Replies:*
1. I am currently out of the office at a job interview and will reply
to you if I fail to get the position. Please be prepared for my mood.
2. You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out of the
office. If I was in, chances are you wouldn't have received anything at
all.
3. Sorry to have missed you, but I'm at the doctor's having my brain and
heart removed so I can be promoted to our management team.
4. I will be unable to delete all the emails you send me until I return
from vacation. Please be patient, and your mail will be deleted in the
order it was received.
5. Thank you for your email. Your credit card has been charged $5.99 for
the first 10 words and $1.99 for each additional word in your message.
6. The email server is unable to verify your server connection. Your
message has not been delivered. Please restart your computer and try
sending again. (The beauty of this is that when you return, you can see
who did this over and over and over....)
7. Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queuing system.
You are currently in 352nd place, and can expect to receive a reply in
approximately 19 weeks.
8. Hi, I'm thinking about what you've just sent me. Please wait by your
PC for my response.
9. I've run away to join a different circus.
10. I will be out of the office for the next two weeks for medical
reasons. When I return, please refer to me as 'Susan' instead of Steve
to you if I fail to get the position. Please be prepared for my mood.
2. You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out of the
office. If I was in, chances are you wouldn't have received anything at
all.
3. Sorry to have missed you, but I'm at the doctor's having my brain and
heart removed so I can be promoted to our management team.
4. I will be unable to delete all the emails you send me until I return
from vacation. Please be patient, and your mail will be deleted in the
order it was received.
5. Thank you for your email. Your credit card has been charged $5.99 for
the first 10 words and $1.99 for each additional word in your message.
6. The email server is unable to verify your server connection. Your
message has not been delivered. Please restart your computer and try
sending again. (The beauty of this is that when you return, you can see
who did this over and over and over....)
7. Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queuing system.
You are currently in 352nd place, and can expect to receive a reply in
approximately 19 weeks.
8. Hi, I'm thinking about what you've just sent me. Please wait by your
PC for my response.
9. I've run away to join a different circus.
10. I will be out of the office for the next two weeks for medical
reasons. When I return, please refer to me as 'Susan' instead of Steve
Thursday, March 06, 2008
Wednesday, March 05, 2008
Another Dream shattered!
Finally, someone has managed to photograph the pot at the end of the rainbow; wouldn't you know it!
New Words for 2008
* SALAD DODGER.
An excellent phrase for an overweight person.
* SWAMP-DONKEY
A deeply unattractive person.
* TESTICULATING.
Waving your arms around and talking bollocks.
* BLAMESTORMING.
Sitting round in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed or a
project failed, and who was responsible.
* SEAGULL MANAGER.
A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everything, and
Then leaves.
* CUBE FARM.
An office filled with cubicles.
* SITCOMs.
Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage. What yuppies turn
into when they have children and one of them stops working to stay home
with the kids or start a 'home business'.
* SINBAD.
Single working girls. Single income, no boyfriend and desperate.
* AEROPLANE BLONDE.
One who has bleached/dyed her hair but still has a 'black box'.
* 404.
Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web error message '404 Not
Found' meaning that the requested document could not be located.
* AUSSIE KISS.
Similar to a French Kiss, but given down under.
* OH - NO SECOND.
That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that you've just
made a BIG mistake (e.g. you've hit 'reply all').
* GREYHOUND.
A very short skirt, only an inch from the hare.
* MILLENNIUM DOMES.
The contents of a Wonderbra, i.e. extremely impressive when viewed from
the outside, but there's actually naught in there worth seeing.
* MONKEY BATH .
A bath so hot, that when lowering yourself in, you go: 'Oo! Oo! Oo!
Aa! Aa! Aa!'.
* MYSTERY BUS.
The bus that arrives at the pub on Friday night while you're in the
toilet after your 10th pint, and whisks away all the unattractive people so
the pub is suddenly packed with stunners when you come back in.
* MYSTERY TAXI.
The taxi that arrives at your place on Saturday morning before you wake
up, whisks away the stunner you slept with, and leaves a 10-Pinter in your
bed instead.
* BEER COAT.
The invisible but warm coat worn when walking home after a booze cruise
At 3:00am .
* BEER COMPASS.
The invisible device that ensures your safe arrival home after booze
cruise, even though you're too drunk to remember where you live, how
you got here, and where you've come from.
* TRAMP STAMP
Tattoo on a female
* PICASSO BUM.
A woman whose knickers are too small for her, so she looks like she's
got 4 buttocks
An excellent phrase for an overweight person.
* SWAMP-DONKEY
A deeply unattractive person.
* TESTICULATING.
Waving your arms around and talking bollocks.
* BLAMESTORMING.
Sitting round in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed or a
project failed, and who was responsible.
* SEAGULL MANAGER.
A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everything, and
Then leaves.
* CUBE FARM.
An office filled with cubicles.
* SITCOMs.
Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage. What yuppies turn
into when they have children and one of them stops working to stay home
with the kids or start a 'home business'.
* SINBAD.
Single working girls. Single income, no boyfriend and desperate.
* AEROPLANE BLONDE.
One who has bleached/dyed her hair but still has a 'black box'.
* 404.
Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web error message '404 Not
Found' meaning that the requested document could not be located.
* AUSSIE KISS.
Similar to a French Kiss, but given down under.
* OH - NO SECOND.
That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that you've just
made a BIG mistake (e.g. you've hit 'reply all').
* GREYHOUND.
A very short skirt, only an inch from the hare.
* MILLENNIUM DOMES.
The contents of a Wonderbra, i.e. extremely impressive when viewed from
the outside, but there's actually naught in there worth seeing.
* MONKEY BATH .
A bath so hot, that when lowering yourself in, you go: 'Oo! Oo! Oo!
Aa! Aa! Aa!'.
* MYSTERY BUS.
The bus that arrives at the pub on Friday night while you're in the
toilet after your 10th pint, and whisks away all the unattractive people so
the pub is suddenly packed with stunners when you come back in.
* MYSTERY TAXI.
The taxi that arrives at your place on Saturday morning before you wake
up, whisks away the stunner you slept with, and leaves a 10-Pinter in your
bed instead.
* BEER COAT.
The invisible but warm coat worn when walking home after a booze cruise
At 3:00am .
* BEER COMPASS.
The invisible device that ensures your safe arrival home after booze
cruise, even though you're too drunk to remember where you live, how
you got here, and where you've come from.
* TRAMP STAMP
Tattoo on a female
* PICASSO BUM.
A woman whose knickers are too small for her, so she looks like she's
got 4 buttocks
Tuesday, March 04, 2008
Monday, March 03, 2008
How to shoot him down. its a bit cold but its funny
WAYS TO TURN DOWN UNWANTED MEN !!!!
HE?? : Can I buy you a drink?
SHE : Actually I'd rather have the money.
HE????: I'm a photographer. I've been looking for a face like
yours.
SHE : I'm a plastic surgeon. I've been looking for a face like
yours.
HE????: Hi. Didn't we go on a date once? Or was it twice?
SHE : Must've been once. I never make the same mistake twice.
HE????: How did you get to be so beautiful?
SHE : I must've been given your share.
HE?? : Will you go out with me this Saturday?
SHE : Sorry. I'm having a headache this
weekend.
HE?? : Your face must turn a few heads.
SHE : And your face must turn a few stomachs.
HE????: Go on ,don't be shy. Ask me out.
SHE : Okay, get out.
HE????: I think I could make you very happy.
SHE : Why? Are you leaving?
HE?? : What would you say if I asked you to marry me?
SHE : Nothing. I can't talk and laugh at the same time.
HE????: Can I have your name?
SHE : Why? Don't you already have one?
HE????: Shall we go see a movie?
SHE : I've already seen it.
HE????: Where have you been all my life?
SHE : Hiding from you.
HE????: Haven't I seen you some place before?
SHE : Yes. That's why I don't go there
anymore.
HE????: Is this seat empty?
SHE : Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.
HE?? : So, what do you do for a living?
SHE : I'm a female impersonator.
HE?? : Hey baby, what's your sign?
SHE : Do not enter.
HE?? : Your body is like a temple.
SHE : Sorry, there are no services today.
HE?? : If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
SHE : If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing
HE?? : Can I buy you a drink?
SHE : Actually I'd rather have the money.
HE????: I'm a photographer. I've been looking for a face like
yours.
SHE : I'm a plastic surgeon. I've been looking for a face like
yours.
HE????: Hi. Didn't we go on a date once? Or was it twice?
SHE : Must've been once. I never make the same mistake twice.
HE????: How did you get to be so beautiful?
SHE : I must've been given your share.
HE?? : Will you go out with me this Saturday?
SHE : Sorry. I'm having a headache this
weekend.
HE?? : Your face must turn a few heads.
SHE : And your face must turn a few stomachs.
HE????: Go on ,don't be shy. Ask me out.
SHE : Okay, get out.
HE????: I think I could make you very happy.
SHE : Why? Are you leaving?
HE?? : What would you say if I asked you to marry me?
SHE : Nothing. I can't talk and laugh at the same time.
HE????: Can I have your name?
SHE : Why? Don't you already have one?
HE????: Shall we go see a movie?
SHE : I've already seen it.
HE????: Where have you been all my life?
SHE : Hiding from you.
HE????: Haven't I seen you some place before?
SHE : Yes. That's why I don't go there
anymore.
HE????: Is this seat empty?
SHE : Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.
HE?? : So, what do you do for a living?
SHE : I'm a female impersonator.
HE?? : Hey baby, what's your sign?
SHE : Do not enter.
HE?? : Your body is like a temple.
SHE : Sorry, there are no services today.
HE?? : If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
SHE : If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing
Crossovers
I think it was Eamonn that asked what a Crossover was. Well it is a little cardigan like garment, that ballerinas wear. I knit them on a knitting machine.
Sunday, March 02, 2008
Pretty as a Picture
This is where I was on Saturday, the hinterland on the Gold Coast, Talai to be exact. It was taken from the back balcony of a property my brother has for sale. One of those pics you think to yourself that it deserves to be framed. Want to buy a house? click
Sleep Over
Spent the morning in the hinterland and Saturday night here in his new apartment on Main Beach
Saturday, March 01, 2008
Gentle thoughts for today
Gentle thoughts for today.
Birds of a feather flock together and crap on your car.
When I'm feeling down, I like to whistle. It makes the neighbor's dog run to the end of his chain and gag himself.
A penny saved is a government oversight.
The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right time, but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.
The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat have gotten to be really good friends.
The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.
He who hesitates is probably right.
Did you ever notice: The Roman Numerals for forty (40) are " XL."
If you think there is good in everybody, you haven't met everybody.
If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.
The sole purpose of a child's middle name is so he can tell when he's really in trouble.
There's always a lot to be thankful for If you take time to look for it. For example I am sitting here thinking how nice it is that wrinkles don't hurt.
Did you ever notice: When you put the 2 words "The" and "IRS" together It spells "Theirs?"
Aging: Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.
The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.
Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me, I want people to know "why" I look this way. I've traveled a long way and some of the roads weren't paved.
When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth, think of Algebra.
You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks. <> One of the many things no one tells you about aging is that it is such a nice change from being young. Ah, being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.
First you forget names, Then you forget faces. Then you forget to pull up your zipper. It's worse when you forget to pull it down.
Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft. Today, it's called golf.
Lord, Please keep your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth...AMEN. !!
Birds of a feather flock together and crap on your car.
When I'm feeling down, I like to whistle. It makes the neighbor's dog run to the end of his chain and gag himself.
A penny saved is a government oversight.
The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right time, but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.
The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat have gotten to be really good friends.
The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.
He who hesitates is probably right.
Did you ever notice: The Roman Numerals for forty (40) are " XL."
If you think there is good in everybody, you haven't met everybody.
If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.
The sole purpose of a child's middle name is so he can tell when he's really in trouble.
There's always a lot to be thankful for If you take time to look for it. For example I am sitting here thinking how nice it is that wrinkles don't hurt.
Did you ever notice: When you put the 2 words "The" and "IRS" together It spells "Theirs?"
Aging: Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.
The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.
Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me, I want people to know "why" I look this way. I've traveled a long way and some of the roads weren't paved.
When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth, think of Algebra.
You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks. <> One of the many things no one tells you about aging is that it is such a nice change from being young. Ah, being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.
First you forget names, Then you forget faces. Then you forget to pull up your zipper. It's worse when you forget to pull it down.
Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft. Today, it's called golf.
Lord, Please keep your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth...AMEN. !!
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