Two Minnesotans

Two Minnesotans walk into a pet shop near Duluth. They head to the bird section and Sven says to Ole, "Dat's dem."

The owner comes over and asks if he can help them."Yah sure, ve'll take four of dem dere little budgies in dat cage updere." says Sven.

The owner puts the budgies in a paper bag. Ole and Sven pay for the birds, leave the shop and get into Sven's pick-up and
drive to the top of some big cliffs near Two Harbors.

At the cliffs, Sven looks down at the 1000 foot drop and says, "Dis looks like a grand place." He takes two birds out of the bag,
puts them on his shoulders and jumps off the cliff. Ole watches as Sven falls all the way to the bottom, killing himself dead.
Looking down at the remains of his best pal, Ole shakes his head and says: "By yumpin' yiminy, dis budgie jumping is too dangerous for me."

VAIT!!! Dere's MORE!Moments later Knute who's been to the pet shop too, arrives at the cliffs. He walks up to the edge of the cliff carrying another
paper bag and a shotgun. "Hey, Ole. Vatch dis." Knute says. He takes a parrot from the bag and throws himself over the edge of the cliff.

Ole watches as half way down, Knute takes the gun and shoots the parrot and continues to plummet down and down until he
hits the bottom and breaks every bone in his body. Ole shakes his head and says, "And I'm never trying dat parrotshooting either."

BUT VAIT!!! Dere's MORE, you betcha..!!Ole is just getting over the shock of losing two friends when Lars appears. He's also been to the pet shop and is carrying
a paper bag and pulls out a chicken. Lars grasps the chicken by the legs, holds it over his head, and hurls himself off the cliff
and disappears down and down and hits a rock and breaks his spine.

Once more Ole shakes his head.... "First der was Sven with his budgie jumping, den Knute parrotshooting, and now Lars, hengliding....."

Dat's enough doncha know
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Taxes

A little boy wanted $100.00 very badly and prayed for weeks, but nothing happened. Then he decided to write God a letter requesting the $100.00.

When the postal authorities received the letter to God, USA, they decided to send it to the President.

The president was so amused that he instructed his secretary to send the little boy a $5.00 bill.The president thought this would appear to be a lot of money to a little boy.

The little boy was delighted with the $5.00 bill and sat down to write a thank-you note to God, which read:Dear God: Thank you very much for sending the money. However, I noticed that for some reason you sent it throughWashington, DC., and those assholes deducted $95.00 in taxes.