10 - Life is sexually transmitted.
9 - Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
8 - Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see one without an erection, make him a sandwich.
7 - Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; Teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.
6 - Some people are like a Slinky... not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you shove them down the stairs.
5 - Health freaks are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.
4 - All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
3 - Why does a slight tax increase cost you 50 quid and a substantial tax cut saves you 50p?
2 - In the 60s, people took LSD to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
AND THE NUMBER 1 THOUGHT FOR 2006:
We know exactly where any untaxed car is located among the millions of cars in Britain. But we haven't got a clue as to where thousands of illegal immigrants and terrorists are located. Maybe we should put the DVLA in
charge of immigration.