Terrorism reactions

It's not only the French that are on a heightened level of alert, the Italians have increased their alert level from " shout loudly and excitedly " to " elaborate military posturing " . Two more levels remain, " ineffective combat operations " and " change sides " .

The Germans also increased their alert state from " disdainful arrogance " to " dress in uniform and sing marching songs " . They have two higher levels, " invade a neighbour " and " lose " .

Seeing this reaction in continental Europe the Americans have gone from " isolationism " to " find another oil-rich nation in the middle east ripe for regime change " . Their remaining higher alert states are " attack the world " and " beg the British for help " .

Finally here in GB we've gone from " pretend nothing's happening " to " make another cup of tea " . Our higher levels are " remain resolutely cheerful " and " win " .

Then there are the Australian security levels of course:
1. "Pi*& off, I'm watching the footy";
2. "sh$#, no sporting teams from overseas are touring Australia, there must be something going on in the world";
3. "What? Did someone say there's a fight on!"; to our highest level of security:
4. "I don't give a sh$% what it's about - if the Poms and the Yanks are in, then we're not going to miss out!"........