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Tuesday, December 12, 2006
Monday, December 11, 2006
Shark Fin Trade
The world's booming shark fin trade is killing up to 73 million sharks per year"about three times more than the official catch number reported to the United Nations, a new study concludes. The findings, derived using data collected from illegal shark fin traders, are detailed in the October issue of the journal Ecology Letters. "The shark fin trade is notoriously secretive. But we were able to tap into fin auction records and convert from fin sizes and weights to whole shark equivalents to get a good handle on the actual numbers," said study leader Shelley Clarke, an American fisheries scientist who works in Hong Kong and Japan. The researchers arrived at their figure using a unique statistical model and data obtained from cooperative traders of shark fins in Hong Kong. Converting the figures to shark weights, they estimated that about 1.7 million tons of shark flesh is harvested each year. This translates to about 73 million sharks.That's three to four times higher than the figure estimated by United Nations Food and Agricultural Organization (FAO), which keeps track of official shark catch records provided by member countries. The FAO's estimates for the amount of shark biomass caught each year range from 0.39 to 0.60 million tons per year. The new figure is the first fishery-independent estimate of the global shark catch for the shark fin trade, the researchers say. The overfishing of sharks could have serious effects for the entire marine food chain in some ecosystems. Another recent study found that removing sharks from a reef environment in the Caribbean had a trickling effect on other species. Without sharks, carnivorous fish that the sharks usually fed on thrived. The carnivorous fish, in turn, preyed on parrotfish that kept the corals clean. In time, the reefs changed from one dominated by coral to one overrun by algae.
Santa
A Christmas Story
'Twas the night before Christmas--Old Santa was pissed.
He cussed out the elves and threw down his list.
Miserable little brats, ungrateful little jerks.
I have a good mind to scrap the whole works!
I've busted my ass for damn near a year,
Instead of "Thanks Santa"--what do I hear?
The old lady bitches cause I work late at night.
The elves want more money--The reindeer all fight.
Rudolph got drunk and goosed all the maids.
Donner is pregnant and Vixen has AIDS.
And just when I thought that things would get better
Those ass holes from the IRS sent me a letter,
They say I owe taxes--if that ain't damn funny
Who the hell ever sent Santa Claus any money?
And the kids these days--they all are the pits
They want the impossible--Those mean little shits
I spent a whole year making wagons and sleds
Assembling dolls...Their arms, legs and heads
I made a ton of yo yo's--No request for them,
They want computers and robots...they think - I'm IBM!
Flying through the air...dodging the trees
Falling down chimneys and skinning my knees
I'm quitting this job there's just no enjoyment
I'll sit on my fat ass and draw unemployment.
There's no Christmas this year now you know the reason,
I found me a blonde. I'm going SOUTH for the season
'Twas the night before Christmas--Old Santa was pissed.
He cussed out the elves and threw down his list.
Miserable little brats, ungrateful little jerks.
I have a good mind to scrap the whole works!
I've busted my ass for damn near a year,
Instead of "Thanks Santa"--what do I hear?
The old lady bitches cause I work late at night.
The elves want more money--The reindeer all fight.
Rudolph got drunk and goosed all the maids.
Donner is pregnant and Vixen has AIDS.
And just when I thought that things would get better
Those ass holes from the IRS sent me a letter,
They say I owe taxes--if that ain't damn funny
Who the hell ever sent Santa Claus any money?
And the kids these days--they all are the pits
They want the impossible--Those mean little shits
I spent a whole year making wagons and sleds
Assembling dolls...Their arms, legs and heads
I made a ton of yo yo's--No request for them,
They want computers and robots...they think - I'm IBM!
Flying through the air...dodging the trees
Falling down chimneys and skinning my knees
I'm quitting this job there's just no enjoyment
I'll sit on my fat ass and draw unemployment.
There's no Christmas this year now you know the reason,
I found me a blonde. I'm going SOUTH for the season
Sunday, December 10, 2006
FIREFIGHTERS fear bushfires could sweep through towns in Victoria's highlands today as winds strengthen ahead of a cool change.
Bush brigades are working frantically to bolster containment lines around the state's worst fires before the blustery conditions strike.
Milder than expected conditions yesterday eased the threat in the state's northeast and Gippsland, where 24 fires were burning out of control last night.
Almost 4000 firefighters from Victoria, New South Wales, Queensland, the Australian Capital Territory and New Zealand were tackling the blazes, backed by army personnel.
Fires so far have consumed almost 180,000ha of bush.
Victoria's Department of Environment says yesterday's reprieve would be short-lived.
"The whole system has slowed down over the past 24 hours, but we're expecting it to hit tomorrow and it will be severe," spokesman Stuart Ord said last night.
"The fire will move very quickly and the intensity will be very hot."
Burning embers, ash, twigs and branches were expected to carry the fire from the highlands south to the Gippsland plains, where drought-affected pasture could easily carry it down to the coast, Mr Ord said.
"There is no doubt the fire will hit settlements tomorrow, the question is which ones," he said.
Thick smoke cloaked eastern Victoria yesterday, prompting a rush of calls to the triple-0 emergency line.
It also grounded firefighting aircraft, preventing them from attacking the fires and helping to determine where they were moving.
Saturday, December 09, 2006
Dear Santa
Dear Santa
I wud like a kool toy space ranjur fer Xmas. Iv ben a gud boy all yeer. Yer Frend, BiLLy
Dear Billy,
Nice spelling. You're on your way to a career in lawn care. How about I send you a frigging book so you can learn to read and write? I'm giving your older brother the space ranger. At least HE can spell! Santa
Dear Santa,
I have been a good girl all year, and the only thing I ask for is peace and joy in the world for everybody! Love, Sarah
Dear Sarah,
Your parents smoked pot when they had you, didn't they?
Santa
Dear Santa,
I don't know if you can do this, but for Christmas, I'd like for my mommy and daddy to get back together. Please see what you can do. Love, Teddy
Dear Teddy,
Look, your dad's banging the babysitter like a screen door in a hurricane. Do you think he's gonna give that up to come back to your frigid, fat mom, who rides his ass constantly? It's time to give up that dream. Let me get you some nice Legos instead. Maybe you can build yourself a family with those? Santa
Dear Santa,
I want a new bike, a Playstation, a train, some G.I. Joes, a dog, a drum kit, a pony and a tuba. Love, Francis
Dear Francis,
Who names their kid "Francis" nowadays? I bet you're gay.
Santa
Dear Santa,
I left milk and cookies for you under the tree, and I left carrots for your reindeer outside the back door. Love, Susan
Dear Susan,
Milk gives me the shits and carrots make the deer fart in my face when riding in the sleigh. You want to do me a favor? Two words, Jim Beam. Santa
Dear Santa,
What do you do the other 364 days of the year? Are you busy making toys? Your friend, Thomas
Dear Thomas,
All the toys are made by little kids like you in China. Every year I give them a slice of bread as a Christmas bonus. I have a condo in Vegas, where I spend most of my time making low-budget porno films. I unwind by drinking myself silly and squeezing the asses of cocktail waitresses while losing money at the craps table. P.S. Tell your mom she got the part. Long Dong Claus
Dear Santa,
Do you see us when we're sleeping, do you really know when we're awake, like in the song? Love, Jessica
Dear Jessica,
Are you really that gullible? Good luck in whatever you do. I'm skipping your house. Santa
Dear Santa,
I really really want a puppy this year. Please please please PLEASE PLEASE could I have one? Timmy
Timmy,
That whiney begging shit may work with your folks, but that crap
doesn't work with me. You're getting an ugly sweater again.
Santa
Dearest Santa,
We don't have a chimney in our house, how do you get into our home? Love, Marky
Mark,
First, stop calling yourself "Marky", that's why you're getting your ass kicked at school. Second, you don't live in a house, you live in a low-rent, ghetto apartment complex. Third, I get inside your pad just like all the burglars do, through your bedroom window. Sweet Dreams, Santa
Friday, December 08, 2006
The Gunslinger
An old prospector walk's his tired old mule into this western town one
day. He'd been out in the desert for about six months without a
drop of whiskey. He walked up to the first saloon he came to and tied his old mule to the hitch rail.
As he stood there brushing some of the dust from his face and clothes, a
gunslinger walked out of the saloon. He had a gun in one hand and a
bottle of whiskey in the other hand he looked at the old man and laughed.
Then he said, "Hey old man have you ever danced?" The old man
looked up at him and said "No, I never did dance, I just never did want to".
A crowd had gathered by then and the gunslinger said "Well you old
fool you're gonna dance now". He started shooting at the old man's
feet. The old man was hopping around and the crowd was laughing.
The gunslinger fired his last bullet then holstered his gun and he
turned around to go back into the saloon.
The old man reached up on the mule got his shotgun and pulled both
hammer's back making a well known clicking sound.
The gunslinger heard this, stopped and then everything got quiet.
He turned around and was looking at both barrels aimed at him.
The old man asked him " Did you ever kiss a mule right on the ass?"
The gunslinger swallowed then said "No, but I've always wanted to.
day. He'd been out in the desert for about six months without a
drop of whiskey. He walked up to the first saloon he came to and tied his old mule to the hitch rail.
As he stood there brushing some of the dust from his face and clothes, a
gunslinger walked out of the saloon. He had a gun in one hand and a
bottle of whiskey in the other hand he looked at the old man and laughed.
Then he said, "Hey old man have you ever danced?" The old man
looked up at him and said "No, I never did dance, I just never did want to".
A crowd had gathered by then and the gunslinger said "Well you old
fool you're gonna dance now". He started shooting at the old man's
feet. The old man was hopping around and the crowd was laughing.
The gunslinger fired his last bullet then holstered his gun and he
turned around to go back into the saloon.
The old man reached up on the mule got his shotgun and pulled both
hammer's back making a well known clicking sound.
The gunslinger heard this, stopped and then everything got quiet.
He turned around and was looking at both barrels aimed at him.
The old man asked him " Did you ever kiss a mule right on the ass?"
The gunslinger swallowed then said "No, but I've always wanted to.
Thursday, December 07, 2006
Mega Bushfires - yikes!
Residents throughout north east and south east Victoria are being asked to prepare for a severe fire threat this coming weekend, with 50 fires already burning throughout the region and no respite from the heat until Sunday, with a forecast of possible rain.
The CFA is predicting the possibility of several fire fronts joining up, creating a bushfire which could cover an area of land some 600,000 hectares in size by early next week.
More....
The CFA is predicting the possibility of several fire fronts joining up, creating a bushfire which could cover an area of land some 600,000 hectares in size by early next week.
More....
Wednesday, December 06, 2006
Joke
"You and your husband don't have much in common," said the new neighbor. "
Why did you get married?"
"I suppose it was the old business of 'opposites attract,'" she replied.
"He wasn't pregnant and I was!"
Why did you get married?"
"I suppose it was the old business of 'opposites attract,'" she replied.
"He wasn't pregnant and I was!"
Best Xmas Photo - get cracking!
Okay, let's get serious about Christmas this year. Blog your best Xmas photo, special Prize for the winner. Get cracking!!!! *snaps whip
How to solve a mid-life crises
When I was married 25 years, I took a look at my wife one day and said, "Honey, 25 years ago, we had a cheap apartment, a cheap car, slept on a sofa bed and watched a 10 inch black and white TV, but I got to sleep every night with a hot 25 year old blonde.
Now, we have a nice house, nice car, big bed, and 55" plasma screen TV, but I'm sleeping with a 50 year old woman. It seems to me that you are not holding up your side of things.
My wife is a very reasonable woman. She told me to go out and find a hot 25 year old blonde, and she would make sure that I would once again be living in a cheap apartment, driving a cheap car, sleeping on a sofa bed and no TV.
Aren't older women great. They really know how to solve your mid-life crises....
Now, we have a nice house, nice car, big bed, and 55" plasma screen TV, but I'm sleeping with a 50 year old woman. It seems to me that you are not holding up your side of things.
My wife is a very reasonable woman. She told me to go out and find a hot 25 year old blonde, and she would make sure that I would once again be living in a cheap apartment, driving a cheap car, sleeping on a sofa bed and no TV.
Aren't older women great. They really know how to solve your mid-life crises....
Tuesday, December 05, 2006
Melbourne mayor voted world's best
December 05, 2006
MELBOURNE'S Lord Mayor John So has been voted the world's most outstanding mayor - five years after becoming the city's first popularly-elected leader.
Between June and October this year more than 103,000 people from across the globe voted on 677 mayors as part of the World Mayor internet-based project organised by City Mayors, a international organisation working to promote local government.
The annual vote was aimed at raising the profile of mayors worldwide.
Mr So has said it is a privilege to receive the award.
"I am delighted to be elected World Mayor 2006," Mr So has said.
"The honour belongs to the amazing people of this wonderful city and the hard working team at the City of Melbourne," he has said.
Who would have thought this would happen?I think his laugh must have won him the most popular Mayor. You just can not help smile when he laughs. John So he's my Bro. Well done .
Monday, December 04, 2006
PETER'S PHOTOGRAPH....
Look who hitched a ride on my boot! Cute Mountain Devils - totally harmless : )
blogged on behalf of Peter
Sunday, December 03, 2006
Two christmas jokes
A Russian couple was walking down the street in St. Petersburg the other night, when the man felt a drop hit his nose. "I think it's raining," he said to his wife.
"No, that felt more like snow to me," she replied. "No, I'm sure it was just rain, he said." Well, as these things go, they were about to have a major argument about whether it was raining or snowing. Just then they saw a minor communist party official walking toward them. "Let's not fight about it," the man said, "let's ask Comrade Rudolph whether it's officially raining or snowing."
As the official approached, the man said, "Tell us, Comrade Rudolph, is it officially raining or snowing?"
"It's raining, of course," he answered and walked on. But the woman insisted: "I know that felt like snow!" To which the man quietly replied: "Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear!"
*************************************************
Remember Christmas For Entry
Three men die in a car accident Christmas Eve. They all find themselves at
the pearly gates waiting to enter Heaven. On entering they must present
something "Christmassy" to show they remember the holiday, or off to hell
they go.
The first man searches his pocket, and finds some Mistletoe, so he is allowed
in.
The second man presents a candy cane, so he too is allowed in.
The third man pulls out a pair of panties.
Confused at this last gesture, St. Peter asks, "How do these represent
Christmas?"
"They're Carol's."
"No, that felt more like snow to me," she replied. "No, I'm sure it was just rain, he said." Well, as these things go, they were about to have a major argument about whether it was raining or snowing. Just then they saw a minor communist party official walking toward them. "Let's not fight about it," the man said, "let's ask Comrade Rudolph whether it's officially raining or snowing."
As the official approached, the man said, "Tell us, Comrade Rudolph, is it officially raining or snowing?"
"It's raining, of course," he answered and walked on. But the woman insisted: "I know that felt like snow!" To which the man quietly replied: "Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear!"
*************************************************
Remember Christmas For Entry
Three men die in a car accident Christmas Eve. They all find themselves at
the pearly gates waiting to enter Heaven. On entering they must present
something "Christmassy" to show they remember the holiday, or off to hell
they go.
The first man searches his pocket, and finds some Mistletoe, so he is allowed
in.
The second man presents a candy cane, so he too is allowed in.
The third man pulls out a pair of panties.
Confused at this last gesture, St. Peter asks, "How do these represent
Christmas?"
"They're Carol's."
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