cyclone Larry...once a sugar mill
Wednesday, March 22, 2006
Now its the Bloody Canadians sheesh
Canada bans Aussie ad campaign
Wednesday Mar 22 05:59 AEDT
No sooner than British censors cleared Australia's colourful tourism campaign, Canadian officials have banned it, but not because of the word "bloody".
The Canadian Broadcasting Corporation has refused to run the "Where The Bloody Hell Are You" ad during family television programming because of the word "hell," Toronto's Globe and Mail newspaper reports.
"It just shows you the different taste levels of audiences in various cultures," CBC spokeswoman Ruth Ellen Soles told the newspaper.
RELATED LINKS
VIDEO: In hot water over hell "'Hell' is a problem for us in terms of kids and family viewing. It comes under the category of 'taste' and in these situations we listen to what our audience tells us."
Tourism Australia last week submitted the commercials to the CBC and to Telecaster, which screens commercials before they appear on Canada's private broadcasters.
The CBC said the ad could run alongside most of its content, but not on two programs it characterised as "family" programming. It also would not be allowed in family Easter specials."We've also told the agency that we'll be monitoring audience reaction and if we get a significant number of complaints, we'll rethink running it," Soles told the Globe and Mail.
The head of Telecaster said that although it had approved the ads, it would flag them so individual broadcasters knew they contained objectionable language.
"Those are words that we would generally have problems with. They're on our list of bad words because we don't want kids picking up on that," said Jim Patterson, president and chief executive officer of the Television Bureau of Canada, which runs Telecaster.
Tourism Australia's Canada director Luke Jones said the adverts were likely to run there later this month or next.
British authorities allowed the advert to screen there at the weekend after Tourism Minister Fran Bailey flew over to persuade them to change their minds.
British television audiences will now be able to see the entire advertisement, which features Australia's top tourist attractions and ends with the tag line: "So where the bloody hell are you?".
The ad was pulled after Britain's Broadcast Advertising Clearance Centre (BACC) objected to use of the word "bloody".
Wednesday Mar 22 05:59 AEDT
No sooner than British censors cleared Australia's colourful tourism campaign, Canadian officials have banned it, but not because of the word "bloody".
The Canadian Broadcasting Corporation has refused to run the "Where The Bloody Hell Are You" ad during family television programming because of the word "hell," Toronto's Globe and Mail newspaper reports.
"It just shows you the different taste levels of audiences in various cultures," CBC spokeswoman Ruth Ellen Soles told the newspaper.
RELATED LINKS
VIDEO: In hot water over hell "'Hell' is a problem for us in terms of kids and family viewing. It comes under the category of 'taste' and in these situations we listen to what our audience tells us."
Tourism Australia last week submitted the commercials to the CBC and to Telecaster, which screens commercials before they appear on Canada's private broadcasters.
The CBC said the ad could run alongside most of its content, but not on two programs it characterised as "family" programming. It also would not be allowed in family Easter specials."We've also told the agency that we'll be monitoring audience reaction and if we get a significant number of complaints, we'll rethink running it," Soles told the Globe and Mail.
The head of Telecaster said that although it had approved the ads, it would flag them so individual broadcasters knew they contained objectionable language.
"Those are words that we would generally have problems with. They're on our list of bad words because we don't want kids picking up on that," said Jim Patterson, president and chief executive officer of the Television Bureau of Canada, which runs Telecaster.
Tourism Australia's Canada director Luke Jones said the adverts were likely to run there later this month or next.
British authorities allowed the advert to screen there at the weekend after Tourism Minister Fran Bailey flew over to persuade them to change their minds.
British television audiences will now be able to see the entire advertisement, which features Australia's top tourist attractions and ends with the tag line: "So where the bloody hell are you?".
The ad was pulled after Britain's Broadcast Advertising Clearance Centre (BACC) objected to use of the word "bloody".
Tuesday, March 21, 2006
THREE THINGS
Thinking about the aftermath of Cyclone Larry in North Queensland, what Three Things would you pack in an evacuation, bearing in mind you don't know a) how long you will be gone for, and b) you don't know what you will be coming home to.
Wow, what a weekend (understatement).
We were having such a wonderful time on Sunday sitting around at the beach having a few drinks (as you do). Radio was on so we could listen to the cyclone alarms. We took down all our shade cloths and turned boats upside down and just sat back and waited. Towards late afternoon I said to a couple of the others, "can you hear that!"�.They looked at me strange and said that they could not hear anything.
Normally we could always hear the sounds of the lorikeets and the black cockatoos ect, but it was just dead silence, we could have heard a pin drop.
Just on dark, my wife Cathy decided to take the kids home for some dinner and to get ready for school in the morning.
I had a bit of a sleep and woke about 7.30pm so the neighbors decided to drive me home just around the corner. It was when we pulled up at my beachfront that we heard the warning sirens on the radio and the words "This is to advise all the residents of the northern beaches that you must evacuate immediately". It was a mandatory evacuation, MUST LEAVE.
I ran up to the house and told Cathy to grab mattresses and pillows act and lets get the hell out of here. We proceeded to ring a few neighbors and started to invite them to my safe work place in town. Then we loaded the dog, cat, the birds and the girls into the cars and headed away from the beach, not really sure what we were going to come back to. Apparently just after we got out the police and emergency workers arrived at the beach to begin knocking on doors and clearing out the rest of the people.
At work, by the time everyone arrived we ended up with 4 dogs, 2 cats, 2 birds, 14 adults and 3 kids. Most stayed up for hours playing cards and listening to the radio and watching the devastation of poor Innisfail, 200 kms north of us. They finally let us back into the beach at about 10.30am where we all caught up on some well-earned rest, getting ready now for Cyclone Wati, which is coming in from the same direction.
Monday, March 20, 2006
kalvic
kalvic
A summary of life..
little children have learned..
1 No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize the cat.
2. When your mum is mad at your dad don't let her brush your hair.
3.If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second person.
4. You can't trust a dog with your food.
Adults have learned.
1. Raising teenagers it like nailing jelly to a tree.
2.Wrinkles don't hurt
3.Laughing is good exercise,. Its like jogging on the inside .
4.Middle age is when you choose your cereal .
Growing old
Growing ols is mandatory, growing up is optional.
Forget the health foods I need all the preservatives i can get.
When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while your down there .
A summary of life..
little children have learned..
1 No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize the cat.
2. When your mum is mad at your dad don't let her brush your hair.
3.If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second person.
4. You can't trust a dog with your food.
Adults have learned.
1. Raising teenagers it like nailing jelly to a tree.
2.Wrinkles don't hurt
3.Laughing is good exercise,. Its like jogging on the inside .
4.Middle age is when you choose your cereal .
Growing old
Growing ols is mandatory, growing up is optional.
Forget the health foods I need all the preservatives i can get.
When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while your down there .
Cyclone Larry
Frightened residents of far north Queensland have told of the terrible power of Cyclone Larry, which left a trail of destruction as it made landfall.
Roofs were torn off buildings and trees flattened as the most destructive part of the storm hammered the coast near Innisfail, south of Cairns, bringing winds of up to 290kph.
"It's just frightening. I don't get scared much but this is something to make any man tremble in his boots," said Innisfail resident Des Hensler.
Bruce Gunn from the Cyclone Warning Centre said it was one of the biggest cyclones ever seen.
"We haven't had a cyclone of this category cross the coast in a populated area for quite a long time," he told ABC radio.
"It's a very grave situation."
There were early, unconfirmed, reports of some casualties in Cairns and some people were feared missing, the weather bureau said.
Residents were warned to stay inside to avoid injury by flying debris.
Cyclone Larry hit the Queensland coast as a maximum category five storm, but was later downgraded to a category four as it headed inland, where it was expected to weaken
o add to the region's concern, a second cyclone, Wati, has formed behind Larry but was near Vanuatu, still days away from hitting the Australian coast.
Millions of dollars worth of sugar and banana crops have already been wiped out by Cyclone Larry, and Johnstone Shire Council deputy mayor George Parvan said many farmers would be plunged into financial ruin for up to 18 months.
He said Larry was far worse that Cyclone Winifred, which struck south of Innisfail in February 1986, destroying 50 homes and damaging hundreds of others, killing three and injuring 20.
Prime Minister John Howard says the federal government and the military will do everything possible to help victims of Cyclone Larry.
Mr Howard said he had spoken with Queensland Premier Peter Beattie and they had agreed to work together on the relief effort.
Mr Howard said he was "very confident" the cyclone would not result in the chaos seen in New Orleans after Hurricane Katrina.
"You are never totally prepared for something like this, but I am impressed that people have already been evacuated," he said.
"Australians are very good at responding to these things because everybody pitches in." Mr Hensler said the cyclone was the most frightening storm he had seen in the "35 to 40" years he had lived in far north Queensland.
He said he was sheltering alone in a church, with water up to his ankles, "just standing in a place where I'm not going to get killed".
"A tree has just fallen on a house, (and there's a) street light actually touching the ground, that's how strong the wind is," he told the Seven Network.
"There's a grey sheet of water, horizontal to the ground, and just taking everything in its path.
"And believe me, it's taking everything ... it is totally scary."
Patty
Sunday, March 19, 2006
Why do we?
Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting weak?
Why do banks charge a fee for "insufficient funds" when they know there is
not enough?
Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars but
check when you say the paint is wet?
Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?
Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a
revolver at him?
Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?
If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?
Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are
always white?
Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?
Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that
something new to eat will have materialized?
Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum
cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give
the vacuum one more chance?
Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?
How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?
When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's all right?" Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, "That hurt, you dunderhead?"
Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off
the table you always manage to knock something else over?
In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when
we complained about the heat?
How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?
Why do banks charge a fee for "insufficient funds" when they know there is
not enough?
Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars but
check when you say the paint is wet?
Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?
Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a
revolver at him?
Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?
If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?
Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are
always white?
Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?
Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that
something new to eat will have materialized?
Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum
cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give
the vacuum one more chance?
Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?
How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?
When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's all right?" Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, "That hurt, you dunderhead?"
Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off
the table you always manage to knock something else over?
In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when
we complained about the heat?
How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?
Saturday, March 18, 2006
Friday, March 17, 2006
Wondering what the hell it is aren't ya?
This is a picture of my ceiling of the room i'm broadcasting out from and that thing you see in the middle of the picture is an empty light socket, I took the blown one out on Monday and went to put a new one in but as i did it and screwed it in tight the pins on the bulb that hold it in place broke off, and that was my last light bulb until i remember to go buy one.
Political Correctiveness Gone Mad Once More
Politics rocks the cradleJade Bilowol
March 17, 2006
This article from : The Associated Press
Baa Baa Black, whoops sorry, Rainbow Sheep, have you any wool?
As for Snow White, she, or maybe even he, is going solo. The seven dwarfs have been dropped from the title.
In these days of heady anti-discrimination and equal opportunity, centuries-old nursery rhymes and fairytales are being rewritten to avoid causing offence or frightening children.
There's a Little Girl Green to match Little Boy Blue as well as Joe Peep to rival Bo.
Even Mother Goose is getting a taste of equal opportunity, being balanced out by Father Gander.
Meanwhile, all the king's horses and all the king's men now glue Humpty Dumpty together again.
But are the changes enabling an ever-increasing number of characters to finally live happily ever after?
Or have they fallen foul to fanatical political correctness?
British childcare centres and kindergartens have jumped on the politically correct bandwagon.
"We have taken the equal opportunities approach approach to everything we do. We are following stringent equal opportunities rules," Stuart Chamberlain, manager of the Family Centre in
Abingdon and the Sure Start centre in Oxfordshire, has told British media. "This is fairly standard across nurseries. No one should feel pointed out because of their race, gender or anything else."
And Australia is not immune to the trend. "A lot of people don't use nursery rhymes now for that reason," admits advocacy group Early
Childhood Australia's president Judy Radich.
However, it seems the Aussies are more reluctant to follow what she deemed Britain's radical lead.
Ms Radich, who operates the Cooloon Children's centre on the Tweed in northern NSW - which still uses unaltered nursery rhymes - says they should be left alone. "I don't think a whole generation of children have grown up disturbed by Humpty Dumpty not being glued up again," Ms Radich says. "There has to be a balance in everything. "I think adults read into things that children don't ... it's up to adults to foster awareness but I don't think changing nursery rhymes is going to achieve that."
A more effective approach to promoting acceptance was for adults to directly talk to children, she insists. "When children notice something different adults should acknowledge it and talk about it," Ms Radich says. "When the child makes a comment in the supermarket about a person with one leg, it's better to acknowledge it than pretend it doesn't happen.
"Kids see things as they are and it's up to adults to foster awareness." And for some centres choosing to ditch nursery rhymes, Ms Radich says they offer children fun learning benefits such as repetition and rhythm. "When you were young and learnt them, they were just fun," she says.
Early Childhood Teachers Association president Toni Michael refuses to weigh into the debate but says there are centres for and against changing nursery rhymes. "It is up to the individual centre," Ms Michaels says. "Each has their own philosophy."
Boni Robertson, an associate professor with Griffith University's Indigenous Gumurrii Centre in Brisbane, says she can't even see why Baa Baa Black Sheep is a racial slur, deeming the change "nonsensical". "I never thought of it because there are black sheep - it's never been equated to a person of colour," she says. "For goodness sake we sing, 'have you any wool?' not 'have you any skin?' "Are we going to have children growing up thinking we have sheep out there that are rainbow-coloured? "And when they see a knitted jumper with more than one colour will they think it came from the rainbow sheep?"
Prof Robertson says she respects for all walks of life, but the changes were going too far, ultimately damaging the politically correct cause. "You have to maintain a certain element of logic and intelligence when you are talking about political correctness," she says. "If you start taking it to the extreme, the original sincere intention of getting people to be a little more sensitive in the presence of others can often be negated, even destroyed, by taking something to the extreme."
Brisbane-based mother-of-five Kerryn Brown, whose children range from four to 22 years of age, says: "We've all grown up with them, it's a bit late to change them now".
"It's unbelievable - they never hurt anybody," Ms Brown says.
"My youngest is four and he is going through that now and I'm not going to change any of the nursery rhymes. "How come they are changing the dwarfs and not Snow White's title to Snow Black anyhow?"
March 17, 2006
This article from : The Associated Press
Baa Baa Black, whoops sorry, Rainbow Sheep, have you any wool?
As for Snow White, she, or maybe even he, is going solo. The seven dwarfs have been dropped from the title.
In these days of heady anti-discrimination and equal opportunity, centuries-old nursery rhymes and fairytales are being rewritten to avoid causing offence or frightening children.
There's a Little Girl Green to match Little Boy Blue as well as Joe Peep to rival Bo.
Even Mother Goose is getting a taste of equal opportunity, being balanced out by Father Gander.
Meanwhile, all the king's horses and all the king's men now glue Humpty Dumpty together again.
But are the changes enabling an ever-increasing number of characters to finally live happily ever after?
Or have they fallen foul to fanatical political correctness?
British childcare centres and kindergartens have jumped on the politically correct bandwagon.
"We have taken the equal opportunities approach approach to everything we do. We are following stringent equal opportunities rules," Stuart Chamberlain, manager of the Family Centre in
Abingdon and the Sure Start centre in Oxfordshire, has told British media. "This is fairly standard across nurseries. No one should feel pointed out because of their race, gender or anything else."
And Australia is not immune to the trend. "A lot of people don't use nursery rhymes now for that reason," admits advocacy group Early
Childhood Australia's president Judy Radich.
However, it seems the Aussies are more reluctant to follow what she deemed Britain's radical lead.
Ms Radich, who operates the Cooloon Children's centre on the Tweed in northern NSW - which still uses unaltered nursery rhymes - says they should be left alone. "I don't think a whole generation of children have grown up disturbed by Humpty Dumpty not being glued up again," Ms Radich says. "There has to be a balance in everything. "I think adults read into things that children don't ... it's up to adults to foster awareness but I don't think changing nursery rhymes is going to achieve that."
A more effective approach to promoting acceptance was for adults to directly talk to children, she insists. "When children notice something different adults should acknowledge it and talk about it," Ms Radich says. "When the child makes a comment in the supermarket about a person with one leg, it's better to acknowledge it than pretend it doesn't happen.
"Kids see things as they are and it's up to adults to foster awareness." And for some centres choosing to ditch nursery rhymes, Ms Radich says they offer children fun learning benefits such as repetition and rhythm. "When you were young and learnt them, they were just fun," she says.
Early Childhood Teachers Association president Toni Michael refuses to weigh into the debate but says there are centres for and against changing nursery rhymes. "It is up to the individual centre," Ms Michaels says. "Each has their own philosophy."
Boni Robertson, an associate professor with Griffith University's Indigenous Gumurrii Centre in Brisbane, says she can't even see why Baa Baa Black Sheep is a racial slur, deeming the change "nonsensical". "I never thought of it because there are black sheep - it's never been equated to a person of colour," she says. "For goodness sake we sing, 'have you any wool?' not 'have you any skin?' "Are we going to have children growing up thinking we have sheep out there that are rainbow-coloured? "And when they see a knitted jumper with more than one colour will they think it came from the rainbow sheep?"
Prof Robertson says she respects for all walks of life, but the changes were going too far, ultimately damaging the politically correct cause. "You have to maintain a certain element of logic and intelligence when you are talking about political correctness," she says. "If you start taking it to the extreme, the original sincere intention of getting people to be a little more sensitive in the presence of others can often be negated, even destroyed, by taking something to the extreme."
Brisbane-based mother-of-five Kerryn Brown, whose children range from four to 22 years of age, says: "We've all grown up with them, it's a bit late to change them now".
"It's unbelievable - they never hurt anybody," Ms Brown says.
"My youngest is four and he is going through that now and I'm not going to change any of the nursery rhymes. "How come they are changing the dwarfs and not Snow White's title to Snow Black anyhow?"
Before Pic
and this is what it looked like before i found it in a 2nd hand shop and brought it home for a good clean up and scrub to reveal the Jade underneath
St Pats Day
Paddy was driving down the street in a sweat because he had an important meeting and couldn't find a parking place.
Looking up to heaven he said, "Lord take pity on me. If you find me a parking place I will go to Mass every Sunday for the rest of me life and give up me Irish whiskey".
Miraculously, a parking place appeared.
Paddy looked up again and said, "Never mind, I found one."
___________________________
Father Murphy walks into a pub in Donegal, and says to the first man he meets, "Do you want to go to heaven?"
The man said, "I do father."
The priest said, "Then stand over there against the wall." Then the priest asked the second man, "Do you want to got to heaven?"
"Certainly, Father," was the man's reply. "Then stand over there against the wall," said the priest. Then Father Murphy walked up to O'Toole and said, "Do you want to go to heaven?
O'Toole said, "No, I don't Father.
The priest said, "I don't believe this. You mean to tell me that when you die you don't want to go to heaven?"
O'Toole said, "Oh, when I die, yes. I thought you were getting a group together to go right now."
________________________________________
An Irish priest is driving down to Sydney and gets stopped for speeding at Hornsby.
The Copper smells alcohol on the priest's breath and then sees an empty wine bottle on the floor of the car. He says, "Sir, have you been drinking?" "Just water," says the priest.
The cop says, "Then why do I smell wine?"
The priest looks at the bottle and says, "Good Lord! He's done it again!"
Looking up to heaven he said, "Lord take pity on me. If you find me a parking place I will go to Mass every Sunday for the rest of me life and give up me Irish whiskey".
Miraculously, a parking place appeared.
Paddy looked up again and said, "Never mind, I found one."
___________________________
Father Murphy walks into a pub in Donegal, and says to the first man he meets, "Do you want to go to heaven?"
The man said, "I do father."
The priest said, "Then stand over there against the wall." Then the priest asked the second man, "Do you want to got to heaven?"
"Certainly, Father," was the man's reply. "Then stand over there against the wall," said the priest. Then Father Murphy walked up to O'Toole and said, "Do you want to go to heaven?
O'Toole said, "No, I don't Father.
The priest said, "I don't believe this. You mean to tell me that when you die you don't want to go to heaven?"
O'Toole said, "Oh, when I die, yes. I thought you were getting a group together to go right now."
________________________________________
An Irish priest is driving down to Sydney and gets stopped for speeding at Hornsby.
The Copper smells alcohol on the priest's breath and then sees an empty wine bottle on the floor of the car. He says, "Sir, have you been drinking?" "Just water," says the priest.
The cop says, "Then why do I smell wine?"
The priest looks at the bottle and says, "Good Lord! He's done it again!"
Thursday, March 16, 2006
1st came Herogram
Now we have Fixogram courtesy
of the Brisbane City Council
comming soon to a letterbox near
you. lol
Have you recieved your Fixogram ?
I have lol
Bachelor Refresher Course
OK Johnno I know it's been awhile so heres a little refresher course for you on the do's and don'ts of being a bachelor.
1: You can eat straight from the can.
2: You can drink milk straight from the carton
3: You can remove the crisper from the fridge and store more beer. "Whats a Crisper?" I hear you ask, its that drawer in the fridge
where your wife kept the vegies.
4: You can use your washing machine like a dirty clothes bin and only when its full turn it on.
5: You can do last nights dishes the next morning or better still when the kitchen sinks full.
6: You can hold on tight to the tv remote.
7: You can wash every other day, personally i wouldn't advice doing that.
8: You can burp and fart, again I wouldn't do that if entertaing guests.
9: You can sensor all your incoming phone calls on your answering machine before deciding whether to answer or not and picking up the receiver.
10: Your allowed to stay up late well after midnight, without hearing the words, " I'm going to bed , you comming"
Notice theres more do's than don't, thats because I couldn't think of any. lol
1: You can eat straight from the can.
2: You can drink milk straight from the carton
3: You can remove the crisper from the fridge and store more beer. "Whats a Crisper?" I hear you ask, its that drawer in the fridge
where your wife kept the vegies.
4: You can use your washing machine like a dirty clothes bin and only when its full turn it on.
5: You can do last nights dishes the next morning or better still when the kitchen sinks full.
6: You can hold on tight to the tv remote.
7: You can wash every other day, personally i wouldn't advice doing that.
8: You can burp and fart, again I wouldn't do that if entertaing guests.
9: You can sensor all your incoming phone calls on your answering machine before deciding whether to answer or not and picking up the receiver.
10: Your allowed to stay up late well after midnight, without hearing the words, " I'm going to bed , you comming"
Notice theres more do's than don't, thats because I couldn't think of any. lol
Wednesday, March 15, 2006
Old friends
So what happens when a blast from your past re-enters your life suddenly, unexpectedly?
A friend who shared your deepest moments with, a friend you laughed with, one who made you happy, someone who also made you cry, a friend who also shared your world of youth. What happens when you sit and watch telly with hubby (Spicks and Specks) and then suddenly like a punch in the stomach, BILLY FIELD!!!!
No way, I told myself, I have Googled him for 2 years without much success, but sure enough, there he is grinning madly wearing a god-awful yellow jacket and flipping bow tie.
I leap up off the sofa screaming BILLY! And then collapse again, frozen. It can’t be, but it must be. It MUST be him!
Sure enough, there is that naughty boy in my life that I laughed over (Bad Habits) cried with (You weren’t in love with me) and generally drooled over and lusted after his voice and cheeky grin.
At once elation in re-finding him, my old singing mate; and flatness, (where has he been, why hasn’t he been using that gifted voice more often in public?)
My husband, of course, thinks I am mad. It doesn’t matter, I have long disregarded what people think of me, but I can’t keep still. I am leaping and sitting, hands to mouth, leaping up and sitting down again like a cocker spaniel with fleas.
Eventually I calm down, and relax and enjoy his music and style. Argh..
Billy Field. You little champion!
Standing on the outside, I don't know where I'm going to
But I do know-ow just one thi-ing, and that is it's over with you
I've been very lonely, I did not think I could go on
I was caught - in mem'ries-ies, and dreams I should have won
Blind Freddy knew that, a blind man could see
I was in love wi-ith you, but you weren't in love with me
Suppose I'll have to keep it, keep it inside, I don't know why
Well I know, that it won't change it, but baby, it helps if I cry
A friend who shared your deepest moments with, a friend you laughed with, one who made you happy, someone who also made you cry, a friend who also shared your world of youth. What happens when you sit and watch telly with hubby (Spicks and Specks) and then suddenly like a punch in the stomach, BILLY FIELD!!!!
No way, I told myself, I have Googled him for 2 years without much success, but sure enough, there he is grinning madly wearing a god-awful yellow jacket and flipping bow tie.
I leap up off the sofa screaming BILLY! And then collapse again, frozen. It can’t be, but it must be. It MUST be him!
Sure enough, there is that naughty boy in my life that I laughed over (Bad Habits) cried with (You weren’t in love with me) and generally drooled over and lusted after his voice and cheeky grin.
At once elation in re-finding him, my old singing mate; and flatness, (where has he been, why hasn’t he been using that gifted voice more often in public?)
My husband, of course, thinks I am mad. It doesn’t matter, I have long disregarded what people think of me, but I can’t keep still. I am leaping and sitting, hands to mouth, leaping up and sitting down again like a cocker spaniel with fleas.
Eventually I calm down, and relax and enjoy his music and style. Argh..
Billy Field. You little champion!
Standing on the outside, I don't know where I'm going to
But I do know-ow just one thi-ing, and that is it's over with you
I've been very lonely, I did not think I could go on
I was caught - in mem'ries-ies, and dreams I should have won
Blind Freddy knew that, a blind man could see
I was in love wi-ith you, but you weren't in love with me
Suppose I'll have to keep it, keep it inside, I don't know why
Well I know, that it won't change it, but baby, it helps if I cry
St Patrick Day Jokes
What do you get if you cross a four-leaf clover with poison oak?
A rash of good luck.
What do you get when you cross a pillowcase with a stone?
A Sham Rock.
Why did St Patrick drive all the snakes out of Ireland?
He couldn't afford plane fare.
What do you call an Irishman who keeps bouncing off the walls?
Rick O' Shea.
Why can't you borrow money from a Leprechaun?
Because they're always a little short.
Why should you never iron a four-leaf clover?
You don't want to press your luck.
A rash of good luck.
What do you get when you cross a pillowcase with a stone?
A Sham Rock.
Why did St Patrick drive all the snakes out of Ireland?
He couldn't afford plane fare.
What do you call an Irishman who keeps bouncing off the walls?
Rick O' Shea.
Why can't you borrow money from a Leprechaun?
Because they're always a little short.
Why should you never iron a four-leaf clover?
You don't want to press your luck.
Guess How Much this Is Selling For
Want to buy a house? This home pictured is located in Manhattan. Click on the link to see more and the asking price.
Tuesday, March 14, 2006
PONDERABLES
PONDERABLES
Can you cry under water?
How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
If money doesn't grow in trees then why do banks have branches?
Since bread is square, then why is sandwich meat round?
Why do you have to "put your two cents in"...but it's only a "penny for your thoughts?" Where's that extra penny going to?
Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?
Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
What disease did cured ham actually have?
How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours? !
If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?
If you drink Pepsi at work in the Coke factory, will they fire you? ....YES...
Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?
Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
How come we choose from just two people for President and fifty for Miss America?
Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.
If a 911 operator has a heart attack, whom does he/she call?
Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?
Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet soup?
Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out!" Or watch a white thing come out a chicken behind and think, "that ought to taste good."
Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
When your photo is taken for your driver's license, why do they te!l you to smile? If you are stopped by the police and asked for you license, are you going to be smiling?
If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?
Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?
If the professor on Gilligan's island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?
Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!
What do you call male ballerinas?
Can blind people see their dreams? Do they dream?
If Wyle E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?
If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
Is Disney World the only people trap operated by a mouse?
Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune? Why did you just try singing the two songs above?
Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?
Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride; he sticks his head out the window?
Do you ever wonder why you gave me your e-mail address in the first place?
Can you cry under water?
How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
If money doesn't grow in trees then why do banks have branches?
Since bread is square, then why is sandwich meat round?
Why do you have to "put your two cents in"...but it's only a "penny for your thoughts?" Where's that extra penny going to?
Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?
Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
What disease did cured ham actually have?
How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours? !
If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?
If you drink Pepsi at work in the Coke factory, will they fire you? ....YES...
Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?
Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
How come we choose from just two people for President and fifty for Miss America?
Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.
If a 911 operator has a heart attack, whom does he/she call?
Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?
Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet soup?
Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out!" Or watch a white thing come out a chicken behind and think, "that ought to taste good."
Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
When your photo is taken for your driver's license, why do they te!l you to smile? If you are stopped by the police and asked for you license, are you going to be smiling?
If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?
Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?
If the professor on Gilligan's island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?
Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!
What do you call male ballerinas?
Can blind people see their dreams? Do they dream?
If Wyle E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?
If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
Is Disney World the only people trap operated by a mouse?
Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune? Why did you just try singing the two songs above?
Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?
Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride; he sticks his head out the window?
Do you ever wonder why you gave me your e-mail address in the first place?
For those ....
who thought they knew it all heres a refresher course... ****
The liquid inside young coconuts can be used as a substitute
for blood plasma. ***
No piece of paper can be folded in half more than seven (7) times. ***
Donkeys kill more people annually than plane crasheses. ***
You burn more calories sleeping than you do watching television. ***
Oak trees do not produce acorns until they are fifty (50) years of age or older. ***
The first product to have a bar code was Wrigleys Chewing Gum ***
The king of hearts is the only King without a Moustache ***
American Airlines saved $40,000 in 1987 by eliminating one (1) olive from each salad served in first-class. ***
Venus is the only planet that rotates clockwise. (Since Venus is normally associated with women, what does this tell you!) ***
Apples , not caffeine, are more efficient at waking you up in the morning ***
Most dust particles in your house are made from dead skin cells. . ***
The first owner of the Marlboro Company died of lung cancer So did the first "Marlboro Man." ***!
Walt Disney was afraid of mice. ***
Pearls melt in vinegar. ***
The three most valuable brand names on earth: Marlboro, Coca Cola, and Budweiser, in that order. ***
It is possible to lead a cow upstairs but not downstairs
***
A duck's quack doesn't echo, and no one knows why. ***
Dentists have recommended that a toothbrush be kept at least six (6) feet away from a toilet to avoid airborne particles resulting from the flush.
(I keep my toothbrush in the living room now!) *** And the best for last.....
Turtles can breathe through their butts . (I know some people like that; don't YOU?)
Now you know everything there is to know. Of importance, that is !!! Cheers For those of you who just thought you knew everything, here's a refresher course... **** The liquid inside young coconuts can be used as a substitute for blood plasma. *** No piece of paper can be folded in half more than seven (7) times. *** Donkeys kill more people annually than plane crashes. *** You burn more calories sleeping than you do watching television. *** Oak trees do not produce acorns until they are fifty (50) years of age or older. *** The first product to have a bar code was Wrigley's gum. *** The king of hearts is the only king without a mustache. *** American Airlines saved $40,000 in 1987 by eliminating one (1) olive from each salad served in first-class. *** Venus is the only planet that rotates clockwise. (Since Venus is normally associated with women, what does this tell you!) *** Apples , not caffeine, are more efficient at waking you up in the morning *** Most dust particles in your house are made from dead skin . *** The first owner of the Marlboro Company died of lung cancer. So did the first "Marlboro Man." ***! Walt Disney was afraid of mice. *** Pearls melt in vinegar. *** The three most valuable brand names on earth: Marlboro, Coca Cola, and Budweiser, in that order. *** It is possible to lead a cow upstairs... but not downstairs. *** A duck's quack doesn't echo, and no one knows why. *** Dentists have recommended that a toothbrush be kept at least six (6) feet away from a toilet to avoid airborne particles resulting from the flush. (I keep my toothbrush in the living room now!) *** And the best for last..... Turtles can breathe through their butts . (I know some people like that; don't YOU?) Now you know everything there is to know. Of importance, that is !!! Cheers
The liquid inside young coconuts can be used as a substitute
for blood plasma. ***
No piece of paper can be folded in half more than seven (7) times. ***
Donkeys kill more people annually than plane crasheses. ***
You burn more calories sleeping than you do watching television. ***
Oak trees do not produce acorns until they are fifty (50) years of age or older. ***
The first product to have a bar code was Wrigleys Chewing Gum ***
The king of hearts is the only King without a Moustache ***
American Airlines saved $40,000 in 1987 by eliminating one (1) olive from each salad served in first-class. ***
Venus is the only planet that rotates clockwise. (Since Venus is normally associated with women, what does this tell you!) ***
Apples , not caffeine, are more efficient at waking you up in the morning ***
Most dust particles in your house are made from dead skin cells. . ***
The first owner of the Marlboro Company died of lung cancer So did the first "Marlboro Man." ***!
Walt Disney was afraid of mice. ***
Pearls melt in vinegar. ***
The three most valuable brand names on earth: Marlboro, Coca Cola, and Budweiser, in that order. ***
It is possible to lead a cow upstairs but not downstairs
***
A duck's quack doesn't echo, and no one knows why. ***
Dentists have recommended that a toothbrush be kept at least six (6) feet away from a toilet to avoid airborne particles resulting from the flush.
(I keep my toothbrush in the living room now!) *** And the best for last.....
Turtles can breathe through their butts . (I know some people like that; don't YOU?)
Now you know everything there is to know. Of importance, that is !!! Cheers For those of you who just thought you knew everything, here's a refresher course... **** The liquid inside young coconuts can be used as a substitute for blood plasma. *** No piece of paper can be folded in half more than seven (7) times. *** Donkeys kill more people annually than plane crashes. *** You burn more calories sleeping than you do watching television. *** Oak trees do not produce acorns until they are fifty (50) years of age or older. *** The first product to have a bar code was Wrigley's gum. *** The king of hearts is the only king without a mustache. *** American Airlines saved $40,000 in 1987 by eliminating one (1) olive from each salad served in first-class. *** Venus is the only planet that rotates clockwise. (Since Venus is normally associated with women, what does this tell you!) *** Apples , not caffeine, are more efficient at waking you up in the morning *** Most dust particles in your house are made from dead skin . *** The first owner of the Marlboro Company died of lung cancer. So did the first "Marlboro Man." ***! Walt Disney was afraid of mice. *** Pearls melt in vinegar. *** The three most valuable brand names on earth: Marlboro, Coca Cola, and Budweiser, in that order. *** It is possible to lead a cow upstairs... but not downstairs. *** A duck's quack doesn't echo, and no one knows why. *** Dentists have recommended that a toothbrush be kept at least six (6) feet away from a toilet to avoid airborne particles resulting from the flush. (I keep my toothbrush in the living room now!) *** And the best for last..... Turtles can breathe through their butts . (I know some people like that; don't YOU?) Now you know everything there is to know. Of importance, that is !!! Cheers
Memories
My Dad gave me a sack full of family photos. sorry its a bit grainy. This was taken back in the late 70's at my Fathers 3rd marriage.
Monday, March 13, 2006
Joke
PREGNANCY Q & A & more!
Q: Should I have a baby after 35?
A: No, 35 children is enough.
Q: I'm two months pregnant now. When will my baby move?
A: With any luck, right after he finishes college.
Q: What is the most reliable method to determine a baby's sex?
A: Childbirth.
Q: My wife is five months pregnant and so moody that sometimes she's borderline irrational.
A: So what's your question?
Q: My childbirth instructor says it's not pain I'll feel during labor, but pressure. Is she right?
A: Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current.
Q: When is the best time to get an epidural?
A: Right after you find out you're pregnant.
Q: Is there any reason I have to be in the delivery room while my wife is in labor?
A: Not unless the word "alimony" means anything to you.
Q: Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from childbirth?
A: Yes, pregnancy.
Q: Do I have to have a baby shower?
A: Not if you change the baby's diaper very quickly.
Q: Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again?
A: When the kids are in college.
Q: Should I have a baby after 35?
A: No, 35 children is enough.
Q: I'm two months pregnant now. When will my baby move?
A: With any luck, right after he finishes college.
Q: What is the most reliable method to determine a baby's sex?
A: Childbirth.
Q: My wife is five months pregnant and so moody that sometimes she's borderline irrational.
A: So what's your question?
Q: My childbirth instructor says it's not pain I'll feel during labor, but pressure. Is she right?
A: Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current.
Q: When is the best time to get an epidural?
A: Right after you find out you're pregnant.
Q: Is there any reason I have to be in the delivery room while my wife is in labor?
A: Not unless the word "alimony" means anything to you.
Q: Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from childbirth?
A: Yes, pregnancy.
Q: Do I have to have a baby shower?
A: Not if you change the baby's diaper very quickly.
Q: Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again?
A: When the kids are in college.
The 2006 Banana Award
Who will be this weeks, "What is it ?" winner and become the proud recipient of this magnificent Banana Trophy
It's so Compact .....
It's so easy to read and compact too
It's so light to carry and so compact too
It's so easy to turn the pages rather then fold them its so compact too
It' so easy to take on a plane its compact too
Ohhhh I nearly forgot, Did I mention how compact it is now ?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
