Johnnos "what is it"....what is this a part of??
Sunday, July 16, 2006
Joke
Ole was walking home late at night and sees a woman in the shadows.
Twenty dollars," she whispers.
He'd never been with a hooker before, but he decides, what the hell,
it's only twenty bucks. So they hide in the bushes.
They're going "at it" for a minute when all of a sudden a light
flashes on them. It's a police officer.
"What's going on here, people?" asks the officer.
"I'm making love to my wife," Ole answers indignantly.
"Oh, I'm sorry," says the cop, "I didn't know."
"Well," Ole says, "neither did I, until you shined that light in her
face".
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Drivers Safety Quiz
Scenario: You are driving in a car at a constant speed.
On your left side is a valley and on your right side is a fire engine traveling at the same speed as you.
In front of you is a galloping pig, which is the same size as your car and you, cannot overtake it.
Behind you is a helicopter flying at ground level.
Both the giant pig and the helicopter are also traveling at the samespeed as you.
What must you do to safely get out of this highly dangerous situation?
Answer: Get off the children's "Merry-Go-Round", you're drunk
Twenty dollars," she whispers.
He'd never been with a hooker before, but he decides, what the hell,
it's only twenty bucks. So they hide in the bushes.
They're going "at it" for a minute when all of a sudden a light
flashes on them. It's a police officer.
"What's going on here, people?" asks the officer.
"I'm making love to my wife," Ole answers indignantly.
"Oh, I'm sorry," says the cop, "I didn't know."
"Well," Ole says, "neither did I, until you shined that light in her
face".
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Drivers Safety Quiz
Scenario: You are driving in a car at a constant speed.
On your left side is a valley and on your right side is a fire engine traveling at the same speed as you.
In front of you is a galloping pig, which is the same size as your car and you, cannot overtake it.
Behind you is a helicopter flying at ground level.
Both the giant pig and the helicopter are also traveling at the samespeed as you.
What must you do to safely get out of this highly dangerous situation?
Answer: Get off the children's "Merry-Go-Round", you're drunk
Saturday, July 15, 2006
Joke
This girl runs home and bursts in yelling, "Pack your bags honey, I just won the lottery!"
He says "Oh wonderful! Should I pack for the beach or the mountains?"
She replies, "I don't care...Just get the fuck out!"
(from Dieter)
He says "Oh wonderful! Should I pack for the beach or the mountains?"
She replies, "I don't care...Just get the fuck out!"
(from Dieter)
Friday, July 14, 2006
joke
The stupid joke
An Englishman, an American and a German were sitting in a bar, drinking Beer(as they do), and discussing how stupid their wives were.
The Englishman says, "I tell you, my wife is so stupid. Last week she went to the supermarket and bought $300 worth of meat because it was on sale, and we don't even have a fridge to keep it in."
The American agrees that she sounds pretty thick, but says his wife is thicker. "Just last week, she went out and spent $17,000 on a new car," he laments, "and she doesn't even know how to drive!"
The German nods sagely, and agrees that these two woman sound like they both walked through the stupid forest and got hit by every branch. However, he still thinks his wife is dumber. "Ah, it kills me every time I tink of it," he chuckles. "My wife just left to go on a holiday in Greece. I watched her packing her bag, and she must have put about 100 condoms in there. And she doesn't even have a penis!
An Englishman, an American and a German were sitting in a bar, drinking Beer(as they do), and discussing how stupid their wives were.
The Englishman says, "I tell you, my wife is so stupid. Last week she went to the supermarket and bought $300 worth of meat because it was on sale, and we don't even have a fridge to keep it in."
The American agrees that she sounds pretty thick, but says his wife is thicker. "Just last week, she went out and spent $17,000 on a new car," he laments, "and she doesn't even know how to drive!"
The German nods sagely, and agrees that these two woman sound like they both walked through the stupid forest and got hit by every branch. However, he still thinks his wife is dumber. "Ah, it kills me every time I tink of it," he chuckles. "My wife just left to go on a holiday in Greece. I watched her packing her bag, and she must have put about 100 condoms in there. And she doesn't even have a penis!
Sweet Potato soup
Kumara (sweet potato) soup.
Ingredients]
2 TABLESPOONS OIL
2 CLOVES OF GARLIC
1 MED ONION
1 TSP MILD CURRY POWDER
500 G KUMARA(peeled and chopped)
500 ml water
10 g chicken or veg stock cube
About 300 ml milk
I tablespoon chopped basil or flat leaf parsley
1). Heat oil in a large saucepan Sauté garlic, onion, and curry powder until soft. Add kumara, water and stock cube. Simmer for 15 minutes or until kumara is cooked. Cool.
2) Blend or process kumara mixture until smooth as desired.
3) Gradually add milk until well combined
Return to saucepan and heat, DO NOT BOIL.
Serve with crusty bread rolls, garnish with a few basil leaves
Serves 4
Ingredients]
2 TABLESPOONS OIL
2 CLOVES OF GARLIC
1 MED ONION
1 TSP MILD CURRY POWDER
500 G KUMARA(peeled and chopped)
500 ml water
10 g chicken or veg stock cube
About 300 ml milk
I tablespoon chopped basil or flat leaf parsley
1). Heat oil in a large saucepan Sauté garlic, onion, and curry powder until soft. Add kumara, water and stock cube. Simmer for 15 minutes or until kumara is cooked. Cool.
2) Blend or process kumara mixture until smooth as desired.
3) Gradually add milk until well combined
Return to saucepan and heat, DO NOT BOIL.
Serve with crusty bread rolls, garnish with a few basil leaves
Serves 4
Thursday, July 13, 2006
Shuttle Sightings Brisbane Sky
ISS
Fri Jul 14/ 04:55 AM
< 111
11 above SSE
11 above SE
ISS
Sat Jul 15/ 05:17 AM
1
38
29 above S
36 above ESE
ISS
Sun Jul 16/ 05:39 AM
3
35
26 above W
12 above NNE
ISS
Tue Jul 18/ 04:52 AM
< 1
13
13 above NNE
10 above NNE
ISS
Wed Jul 19/ 06:20 PM
1
19
11 above N
19 above NNE
ISS
Thr Jul 20/ 06:44 PM
< 1
58
44 above WNW
58 above WNW
ISS
Fri Jul 21/ 05:34 PM
< 1
11
11 above E
11 above E
ISS
Sat Jul 22 /05:54 PM
3
76
62 above WNW
12 above SE
Fri Jul 14/ 04:55 AM
< 111
11 above SSE
11 above SE
ISS
Sat Jul 15/ 05:17 AM
1
38
29 above S
36 above ESE
ISS
Sun Jul 16/ 05:39 AM
3
35
26 above W
12 above NNE
ISS
Tue Jul 18/ 04:52 AM
< 1
13
13 above NNE
10 above NNE
ISS
Wed Jul 19/ 06:20 PM
1
19
11 above N
19 above NNE
ISS
Thr Jul 20/ 06:44 PM
< 1
58
44 above WNW
58 above WNW
ISS
Fri Jul 21/ 05:34 PM
< 1
11
11 above E
11 above E
ISS
Sat Jul 22 /05:54 PM
3
76
62 above WNW
12 above SE
Recipe for Pee 'n Fart Soup
Pea and Ham Soup
1 x bacon hock
1 x large onion, peeled and studded with at least 5 cloves
some whole black peppercorns
1 x potato cubed into 1cm pieces (1/4 inch)
1 x parsnip as above
1 x turnip as above
1 x cup of dried yellow peas
1 x pearl barley
Water to cover well and truely.
1 x bacon hock
1 x large onion, peeled and studded with at least 5 cloves
some whole black peppercorns
1 x potato cubed into 1cm pieces (1/4 inch)
1 x parsnip as above
1 x turnip as above
1 x cup of dried yellow peas
1 x pearl barley
Water to cover well and truely.
Aussie Nicknames
No matter how old you are, it seems that if you're a proper Aussie, you've got a nickname.
Indeed, some babies acquire nicknames even before they're born, and sometimes those nicknames stick with them for life (how many 'grubs' or 'beanies' do you know?)!
Language Professor Roly Sussex was interested in finding out more about nicknames in Queensland, after taking a biking tour that inspired such nicknames as 'blowout' and 'wheelbarrow' and new language like 'notcha' (as in the bit around your seat that hurts when you ride a bit - it's notcha this, it's notcha that, it's just notcha.)
Roly says nicknames can have a number of different derivations. "We used to have nicknames when we were at school quite a bit," he remembers. "I was called ‘Prof’ [because] I was a very studious and dull child!
"Families generate nicknames," he continues, "often when the children mispronounce the names of various relatives or animals."
Roly asked Queenslanders for their best nicknames, and here are some they came up with:
SHOWBAGS: only worth two bob, full of rubbish and you have to carry him everywhere.
THE SHAH: been everywhere but nobody wants him.
MILKBOTTLES: you always find him full on the front doorstep in the morning.
HARPIC: clean round the bend.
BLISTERS: shows up after the work is done.
THE JUDGE: always sitting on a case.
CYCLONE: a slow moving depression.
LONDON FOG: never lifts.
MIRROR: always saying "I'll look into it".
JUNGLE: thick, green and dense.
THROMBOSIS: a bloody clot who interferes with the functioning of the system.
Indeed, some babies acquire nicknames even before they're born, and sometimes those nicknames stick with them for life (how many 'grubs' or 'beanies' do you know?)!
Language Professor Roly Sussex was interested in finding out more about nicknames in Queensland, after taking a biking tour that inspired such nicknames as 'blowout' and 'wheelbarrow' and new language like 'notcha' (as in the bit around your seat that hurts when you ride a bit - it's notcha this, it's notcha that, it's just notcha.)
Roly says nicknames can have a number of different derivations. "We used to have nicknames when we were at school quite a bit," he remembers. "I was called ‘Prof’ [because] I was a very studious and dull child!
"Families generate nicknames," he continues, "often when the children mispronounce the names of various relatives or animals."
Roly asked Queenslanders for their best nicknames, and here are some they came up with:
SHOWBAGS: only worth two bob, full of rubbish and you have to carry him everywhere.
THE SHAH: been everywhere but nobody wants him.
MILKBOTTLES: you always find him full on the front doorstep in the morning.
HARPIC: clean round the bend.
BLISTERS: shows up after the work is done.
THE JUDGE: always sitting on a case.
CYCLONE: a slow moving depression.
LONDON FOG: never lifts.
MIRROR: always saying "I'll look into it".
JUNGLE: thick, green and dense.
THROMBOSIS: a bloody clot who interferes with the functioning of the system.
Wednesday, July 12, 2006
Monday, July 10, 2006
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